Kyron Horman, 7 years old, PORTLAND, OR #36 11/21/10 - 12/05/10

[mamacrazy30]

all i have to say is that apparently TH was not hiding her drinking very well if KH saw her passed out, ect.  IF he knew she was passed out from drinking, and not taking care of Kitty, then he knew she was drinking. 

[no rose colored glasses]

all i have to say is that apparently TH was not hiding her drinking very well if KH saw her passed out, ect.  IF he knew she was passed out from drinking, and not taking care of Kitty, then he knew she was drinking. 

Yes how could you not. Maybe he thought it would get better?

[mamacrazy30]

or maybe he just didn't care?  maybe it wasn't even an issue for him until all this happened?  idk.  but sometimes....when a spouse has an issue (such as drinking or drugs or whatever) the other spouse enables them to do so because that is all they 'know' of the person.  and sometime its even easier to 'control' said spouse if you just let them do what they wanna do (and in turn, you get to do what ya wanna do, and life goes on).

I Have No Clue as to if this was the situation.  Just my 2 cents.

[no rose colored glasses]

or maybe he just didn't care?  maybe it wasn't even an issue for him until all this happened?  idk.  but sometimes....when a spouse has an issue (such as drinking or drugs or whatever) the other spouse enables them to do so because that is all they 'know' of the person.  and sometime its even easier to 'control' said spouse if you just let them do what they wanna do (and in turn, you get to do what ya wanna do, and life goes on).

I Have No Clue as to if this was the situation.  Just my 2 cents.

Sometimes it is best to shut up and carry on as usual, no doubt. I have no idea what when on in that house or anybodies house for that matter, just pay attention to what is going on in our house. And everybody has different ways they choose to live.

[mamacrazy30]

the one thing that struck me as odd was KH's use of 'we' on the JVM interview.  who is 'we'?  him and LE?  him and Desiree? 

[no rose colored glasses]

the one thing that struck me as odd was KH's use of 'we' on the JVM interview.  who is 'we'?  him and LE?  him and Desiree? 

I don't know.

[mamacrazy30]

the one thing that struck me as odd was KH's use of 'we' on the JVM interview.  who is 'we'?  him and LE?  him and Desiree? 

I don't know.

i don't either.

[islandmonkey]

I read somewhere that Kiara was staying with Kaine's parents. Does anyone know if that is true or have a link to it? Isn't Kristain Horman due to get out of jail or already out? I wonder where he is or will be staying? Hopefully not in the same house with Kiara.

Oh WOW, I hope not......and I too heard Kristian was getting out, also heard rumors about KH's dad (course it could have been a lie from Kristian, but it's not unusual for someone who molest children to have been a victim-more the norm than not and I'm not saying every child molested becomes one, but the majority of molesters were victims)......

I would have thought she'd have stayed with Kaine and IIRC doesn't Intel have childcare? I just can't imaging my son disappearing and then letting my only child left stay somewhere else unless it was for safety reasons etc. Also, do his parents live in the same area. I am just curious since I can't recall seeing them anywhere but in some FB photos on Terri's FB

[no rose colored glasses]

Don't remember reading much at all about Kaine's parents, just his brother.

[MuffyBee]

http://www.kptv.com/news/25902944/detail.html
Horman Divorce Case On Hold Till Jan.
November 23, 2010

ORTLAND, Ore. -- The divorce case between Kaine and Terri Horman will be put on hold until next year.

Court documents filed yesterday show that the judge has decided to delay the case until Jan. 6.

The judge says he understands Kaine Horman is living, “any human’s worst nightmare.” He says that's because of Kaine Horman's missing son, Kyron, as well as other factors.

The judge adds it’s even worse because police told Kaine Horman in June of his wife’s alleged plot to have someone kill him, as well as her alleged involvement in Kyron’s disappearance.

The judge says it is in Kaine Horman’s best interests to move forward now, but it does not benefit the ultimate goal of finding Kyron. He says handling the divorce proceedings now carries the risk of compromising the criminal investigation.

[no rose colored glasses]

http://www.kptv.com/news/25902944/detail.html
Horman Divorce Case On Hold Till Jan.
November 23, 2010

ORTLAND, Ore. -- The divorce case between Kaine and Terri Horman will be put on hold until next year.

Court documents filed yesterday show that the judge has decided to delay the case until Jan. 6.

The judge says he understands Kaine Horman is living, “any human’s worst nightmare.” He says that's because of Kaine Horman's missing son, Kyron, as well as other factors.

The judge adds it’s even worse because police told Kaine Horman in June of his wife’s alleged plot to have someone kill him, as well as her alleged involvement in Kyron’s disappearance.

The judge says it is in Kaine Horman’s best interests to move forward now, but it does not benefit the ultimate goal of finding Kyron. He says handling the divorce proceedings now carries the risk of compromising the criminal investigation.

This really is a very complicated situation. I don't think that I remember any case where a child is missing, and a divorce is going on at the same time like this.

[islandmonkey]

http://www.kptv.com/news/25902944/detail.html
Horman Divorce Case On Hold Till Jan.
November 23, 2010

ORTLAND, Ore. -- The divorce case between Kaine and Terri Horman will be put on hold until next year.

Court documents filed yesterday show that the judge has decided to delay the case until Jan. 6.

The judge says he understands Kaine Horman is living, “any human’s worst nightmare.” He says that's because of Kaine Horman's missing son, Kyron, as well as other factors.

The judge adds it’s even worse because police told Kaine Horman in June of his wife’s alleged plot to have someone kill him, as well as her alleged involvement in Kyron’s disappearance.

The judge says it is in Kaine Horman’s best interests to move forward now, but it does not benefit the ultimate goal of finding Kyron. He says handling the divorce proceedings now carries the risk of compromising the criminal investigation.

That would be extremely frustrating IMO to have to delay it, but mine took 3 yrs and the man I work with had been going thru one for 20 months and the judge delayed it one FULL YEAR Needless to say, he was drunk by noon and I have to drive him home from the office, but after learning he had to pay his soon to be ex 20,000 a month and delay it a yr I guess I can understand. So, in the grand scheme of things I can see why it's best to wait, he has no child support to pay, no alimony and they don't live together so for all practical purposes they are completely severed except the legal signature since I don't think he has to worry about the house because her name was never on it, still frustrating .....but, to risk the outcome of the criminal investigation would be worse IMO than having to stall it.

Now my head is spinning wondering where Kitty is??

[theboyzmom]

thebozymom      All I'm going to say that if my spouse or boyfriend got a DUI there would be no way my kids or I would be driving with him. It is irresponsible and ignorant. Now what others do in their home and their decisions is their business, but that would be my business and my decisions.

I agree with you about the DUI. The problem arises that he can not be with her 24/7.  Unless he was willing to take the car away, it would be hard to keep her from driving. I don't know how he could not kick her out or do something else when she was driving - and apparently not very well that she got stopped. All I know, is that I did not live there and have no idea if he is telling the truth about her being passed out or not.  I know this is a time that he may be looking back at every choice to see what he missed. I am sure he probably wishes he did many things differently. Anytime there is a tragedy we all look back at what we missed. I just wish the grownups would stop fighting and someone tell where Kyron is. He is getting lost with all the drama by the grownups in his life . .  .

[Terri]

or maybe he just didn't care?  maybe it wasn't even an issue for him until all this happened?  idk.  but sometimes....when a spouse has an issue (such as drinking or drugs or whatever) the other spouse enables them to do so because that is all they 'know' of the person.  and sometime its even easier to 'control' said spouse if you just let them do what they wanna do (and in turn, you get to do what ya wanna do, and life goes on).

I Have No Clue as to if this was the situation.  Just my 2 cents.

Sometimes it is best to shut up and carry on as usual, no doubt. I have no idea what when on in that house or anybodies house for that matter, just pay attention to what is going on in our house. And everybody has different ways they choose to live.

I have YEARS of experience as an enabler.  If I told you some of the stories my heart allowed my head to "pretend" to believe.  I say "pretend" because I really didn't, my stomach turned, I was hyper vigilant, etc.
I saw things in front of my face that I ignored, denied, or even just hoped would work itself out.  I wanted to believe the excuses, promises, etc.

I have been out of the enabling business for about two years now.  Every few days I remember a situation and get mad at myself, or sick to my stomach that I allowed myself to be used.   Sometimes these people make us so confused we just go into fantasy world.  And as I have said before,  I have been in child protective services for years, including as an investigator...It was only in my own life I could not see the forest for the trees.

The old maxim about the frog;  if you put a frog in boiling water it will jump out.  But if you put it in tepid water then gradually turn up the heat, it will boil to death.


Just thoughts on enabling, not on Kaine or his relationship with Terri.  I have my own opinion about who did what, but it is all speculation on my part.

Terri

[no rose colored glasses]

There sure are a lot of delays in divorces, it almost seems like they want you to stay married no matter what. Nobody can make you stay married to anyone. Too bad there isn't a fast track to some of these divorces. I'm watching from the sidelines what is happening with a family member and a divorce that seriously is never going to come to a conclusion 

[Kokos Cat]

Another frustrating thing is that I was hopeful for a long time that the DA was holding off on arresting Terri due to trying to get information on an accomplice(s) and not wanting to arrest Terri too soon and harm the investigation into anyone else.  I no longer think that way. 

Dear Puzzler,
   Would you elaborate on this please? (If you haven't already, sorry, but am behind in my reading.) 
   In other words:  Why do you think that the DA is holding off on an arrest?
   
TIA,

K. Cat
 

[no rose colored glasses]

thebozymom      All I'm going to say that if my spouse or boyfriend got a DUI there would be no way my kids or I would be driving with him. It is irresponsible and ignorant. Now what others do in their home and their decisions is their business, but that would be my business and my decisions.

I agree with you about the DUI. The problem arises that he can not be with her 24/7.  Unless he was willing to take the car away, it would be hard to keep her from driving. I don't know how he could not kick her out or do something else when she was driving - and apparently not very well that she got stopped. All I know, is that I did not live there and have no idea if he is telling the truth about her being passed out or not.  I know this is a time that he may be looking back at every choice to see what he missed. I am sure he probably wishes he did many things differently. Anytime there is a tragedy we all look back at what we missed. I just wish the grownups would stop fighting and someone tell where Kyron is. He is getting lost with all the drama by the grownups in his life . .  .

I totally agree, Kyron is getting lost with all the drama, just like Haleigh and Caylee in my opinion 

[fatcatlurker]

Please correct me if I am wrong but what court documents contain anything about Terri Horman's alcohol issues?  I just looked them over again and don't see anything but I could be wrong, maybe I missed something. 

http://images.bimedia.net/documents/horman-affair.pdf

http://www.koinlocal6.com/media/lib/107/a/9/2/a92b2731-0d99-453a-80b8-3ed80892bf53/Horman_Paperwork.pdf

http://www.koinlocal6.com/media/lib/107/b/6/9/b69f88e8-b5dd-4ee7-a91d-7125fde7b948/SharpNews_koin.com_20101022_165135.pdf

[fatcatlurker]

or maybe he just didn't care?  maybe it wasn't even an issue for him until all this happened?  idk.  but sometimes....when a spouse has an issue (such as drinking or drugs or whatever) the other spouse enables them to do so because that is all they 'know' of the person.  and sometime its even easier to 'control' said spouse if you just let them do what they wanna do (and in turn, you get to do what ya wanna do, and life goes on).

I Have No Clue as to if this was the situation.  Just my 2 cents.

Sometimes it is best to shut up and carry on as usual, no doubt. I have no idea what when on in that house or anybodies house for that matter, just pay attention to what is going on in our house. And everybody has different ways they choose to live.

I have YEARS of experience as an enabler.  If I told you some of the stories my heart allowed my head to "pretend" to believe.  I say "pretend" because I really didn't, my stomach turned, I was hyper vigilant, etc.
I saw things in front of my face that I ignored, denied, or even just hoped would work itself out.  I wanted to believe the excuses, promises, etc.

I have been out of the enabling business for about two years now.  Every few days I remember a situation and get mad at myself, or sick to my stomach that I allowed myself to be used.   Sometimes these people make us so confused we just go into fantasy world.  And as I have said before,  I have been in child protective services for years, including as an investigator...It was only in my own life I could not see the forest for the trees.

The old maxim about the frog;  if you put a frog in boiling water it will jump out.  But if you put it in tepid water then gradually turn up the heat, it will boil to death.


Just thoughts on enabling, not on Kaine or his relationship with Terri.  I have my own opinion about who did what, but it is all speculation on my part.

Terri

 

Enabling we will go, Enabling we will go, Hi Low Drinky o, Enabling we will go.  Sad I know and I can empathize. 

[fatcatlurker]

Geeze I didn't mean to chase anybody off.  I just think rationally with the information the man is being given by LE right up to this past Friday regarding Terri he has to do what he has to do in regards to Kiara.

What if she is guilty? 

If she's guilty - I hope she's brought to SWIFT justice...her and any little co-conspirators (if there are any).  The sooner...the better, too!

  Ditto on that too....but looks like this case is going to be tied up for a long time with no evidence, I pray they have something hard and fast, but feel if they did, she'd have been arrested.

Yes, it's really bothersome that the GJ has had hundreds of people before them and still no indictment. 

But key players have not been called before the GJ and that also gives me hope.