Scared Monkeys Discussion Forum

Obama to step down in 2010

Today, Communist leader Barack Obama announced that he'll be quiting as US President on January 20, 2010 (one year after he became president). The media says he will quit due to failing plans (Guantanamo Bay closure, 2010 withdrawal, etc.).

Questions surround who will replace Obama as president. Biden, his enemy from his election: John McCain or Obama Girl? And worse, who's going to be the new Vice-President? Chenney, Palin or Obama himself. Is it going to be anarchy (no government)?

Cheney: "Waterboard Me." Obama: "No, Waterboard Me!"

(Washington, D.C.) The debate between former Vice President Dick Cheney and current President Barack Obama over United States policy on detainees at Guanatanamo Bay, which has been intensifying over the last month, shows no sign of diminishing. The latest challenge was issued today by Dick Cheney, who said that he would be waterboarded to prove that President Obama's allegation that it is torture is "all wet."

After Stern co-host, Robin Quivers, woke Stern, the controversial DJ asked Cheney if he actually believed that U.S. interrogation practices under the Bush administration were not torture. "I've heard all this talk about waterboarding being torture. Waterboarding is no worse than, say, getting water in your nose when you take a shower or protesting the war in Iraq at the Lincoln Memorial and getting hit with a firehouse. A little unpleasant, sure. Torture? No. In fact, Howard, I'm so sure of it I'm offering to be waterboarded on your show."

The White House press corps almost in unison asked if this was truly getting to the heart of the debate. Press Secretary Robert "Bob" Gibbs replied, "We have thought of that. And in order to make this a fair comparison, given the former Vice President's age and lack of a heart, the President will take up smoking again a week before the event."

Obama Statue at Madame Tussaud's Keeps Moving to the Left

London England-Call it "The Mysterious Case of The Moving Statue". A wax figurine of Barrack Obama can't seem to stay in one place here at Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum. Crews first noticed that the statue had moved a few days after it was installed in late January of this year.

...Feathersword, museum curator. "Yesterday we had to remove it from a diorama featuring Nikita Krueschev, the former Soviet leader."

If you want to see the statue in it's original position you had better hurry. Museum officials are debating whether to try and put an end to the phenomenon once and for all by placing the president in front of the "Hammer and Sickle".