Prayers for all those at VA TECH

[nonesuche]

Tib thank heavens for shoes !! It sounds as if that poor male Aussie who survived by playing dead is already exhibiting surivivor's guilt as well, the repercussions of this carnage are so immense on so many. Just the six degrees of separation theory dictates this, I spoke this morning with a friend whose daughter lost 3 friends in this and another one survived but it was a full day before they located her in the hospital. It must be agony......

I found this to be a compelling commentary on the message this killer sent plus the web is abuzz regarding his Islamic references...

Killer's manifesto reveals the dark side of new media


By Phil Rosenthal
Tribune media columnist
Published April 19, 2007, 12:23 AM CDT

NEW YORK -- There is the young man with dead eyes talking about his crimes in the past tense, the photos of him striking a "Taxi Driver" pose, the lengthy written rant.

Whatever dementia drove Cho Seung Hui, the now-dead student police have identified as the Virginia Tech mass murderer, he apparently had the presence of mind between killing sprees Monday to go to the post office and send what would be called his "multimedia manifesto" to NBC News.

Because he botched the address and ZIP code, his overnight envelope, mailed at 9:01 a.m., according to a clerk's note on the label, arrived at NBC—and on the air Wednesday—a day later than he intended.

"When the time came, I did it. I had to," he says in the tape, eerily using the past tense.

"You had 100 billion chances and ways to have avoided today but you decided to spill my blood," he says in the tape, casting himself as a victim from the grave. "You forced me into a corner and gave me only one option. The decision was yours. Now you have blood on your hands that will never wash off."

Two days earlier so many of us marveled at the striking video, images and sound provided almost instantly to television by students media-savvy enough to point their phone cameras at the gruesome events unfolding before their eyes, and soon everyone else's.

Yet the idea of a media savvy student issuing his own video, images and sound to present his own crazed version of what set those events in motion—"much of it is incoherent, laced with profanity," reported NBC's Pete Williams—leaves us dumbstruck.

This is, it would seem, the dark side of so-called citizen journalism, the news speaking for itself.

If eyewitnesses can nearly instantly transmit their experiences in the face of something horrible, then so too can those inflicting the horror.

If Cho didn't put his message in a package for a major media outlet, then he might well have put it on a Web site, or a Facebook or MySpace page, or posted it on YouTube. A mere suicide note rambling about perceived injustices, apparently, is so 20th Century.

It's reminiscent of a 2001 film, "15 Minutes," which starred Edward Burns, Kelsey Grammer and the one-time Travis Bickle himself, Robert De Niro. It was about bad guys who taped themselves committing murder, tried to sell the video to a tabloid TV show for $1 million then hoped to skate with an insanity plea, citing abuse as kids.

Six years ago, that seemed cynically over-the-top.

In the Virginia Tech massacre, there is evidence the assassin was preparing his materials, his own eulogy, his own version of reality for our consumption, at least as far back as six days before his attacks. He had been arming himself for one-sided combat well before that, but the "multimedia manifesto" was obviously a critical part of his battle plan.

"We are sensitive to how this will be seen by those affected," anchor Brian Williams said on "The NBC Nightly News." "And we know we are, in effect, airing the words of a murderer."

Actually, this self-styled video news release, Cho's crude attempt to manipulate the media by putting his own stamp on his misdeeds, is the least offensive thing he did.

Just as surely as it is sickening, however, NBC had no choice but to report what he said, how he said it, even the facts of how he crafted and prepackaged his message.

It's undeniably news, if only because it's something we've so rarely seen. Up till now.

philrosenthal@tribune.com


Copyright © 2007, Chicago Tribune

[Dihannah1]

Here is something about the family. I do feel sorry for them. They are in a strange country, they have to deal with the loss of there son and the guilt of what he did. As you see, they knew something was wrong, but did they know how find the proper resources for help?
I am in NO way defending this sick persons actions, but to try and understand he WAS sick and reaching out for help and our system failed him.  I'm not placing blame here, but thought you should see this. My heart aches for his family.

Gunman’s brooding disturbed his family
http://www.guardian.co.uk/usguns/Story/0,,2061278,00.html

The brooding silence of Cho Seung-hui was so impenetrable it disturbed his family even when he was a boy growing up in South Korea, relatives of the Virginia killer told the Guardian today.
His grandfather feared Cho, at eight, might be mute; the boy’s great aunt worried that he had mental problems. And his mother, Kim Hyang-im, spent most of her time in church praying for him to snap out of his unhealthy taciturnity.

“She was heartbroken. It was always her biggest worry when she called home,” said the mother’s aunt, Kim Yang-soon. “After they moved to America, she hoped his silences would ease as he grew older. But in fact, they got worse.”

The poor but hard-working family had a difficult beginning. Cho’s mother was forced into an arranged marriage with his father, Sung-tae, who was 10 years older and from a very different background. She was from a well-educated family of North Korean landowners, who had been forced to flee without possessions during the Korean war; he was from a poor family in the south, but had made enough money to marry by working in Saudi Arabia for 10 years on construction sites and oil fields.

As Hyang-im was 29 - a late age for a woman to find a husband in South Korea - her father told her she had to accept the proposal. “She didn’t want to marry, but she gave in,” said Yong-soon. “Her husband was not fit for her. But she always followed and obeyed him. She never fought him, though sometimes I wish she had done.” No one in the family recalls any violent behaviour from Cho or his parents that might have hinted at the carnage to come.

But they were unnerved by his sullenness. “My grandson was shy even as a little boy and he would never run to me like my other grandchildren,” his maternal grandfather, Kim HyongShik, told the Hankyeoreh Daily. “The boy was so different from his super-intelligent older sister. His extreme shyness worried his parents. I thought he might be deaf and dumb.”

Schoolmates interviewed by local media said they remembered Cho as quiet and nondescript. His former teacher, Noh Yong-gil, has no recollection of him.

But the father doted on his son and daughter. “He lived for his children. He would have done anything for them,” the grandfather recalled. “But now this has happened. It’s as if everything they’ve done, the reason for their whole existence has been for nothing. It’s as if they’ve not lived at all.”

The family moved to the US in 1992. It did not go smoothly. During their eight-year wait for a visa, they became increasingly short of money, selling their second-hand shop and their home to make ends meet.

They had spent the night before their flight with the mother’s family, who live in a wooden hut in the middle of a field of cabbages, spring onions and horseradishes. “They were very happy to finally be going. They thought they were off to a better life,” said Yang-soon.

It was only the second time the grandparents had seen their grandson. “He would not talk even when I called to him. He was so quiet that I remarked that he must have a very gentle nature,” Yang-soon said. “But his mother told me he was too quiet. Soon after they got to America, he was diagnosed as being clinically withdrawn. It amazes me that he ever made it into university. I guess he must have had some mental problems from birth.”

Cho’s family worked hard to make a success of their life in the US. His father spent hours in the laundry, earning enough money for his children’s education. His mother supplemented their income with part-time employment as a waitress at a cafeteria. Her spare time was devoted to the Korean church in Centreville, where she implored the pastor to help her son. According to the Joong-ang Daily, she always prayed that her boy could become more outgoing.

When Cho started college, at Virginia Tech, his mother took his dormitory mates to one side to explain about her son’s unusual character and implored them to help.

“She was worried that he spent all his time in his room, lost in a world of video games,” the paper quoted the pastor as saying. “[Cho] came to bible studies for a couple of years, but rarely spoke and never got along with the other youths. I can’t believe he has done this to such a devoted mother.”

Back in Seoul, the family are worried that they had not heard from Cho’s parents since the killings. They have wondered if things might have been different had they been able to bring the boy out of his shell. “I just wish he would have talked,” says Yong-soon. “There is an old saying in Korea that people who won’t talk will end up killing themselves. That is what happens when the resentment builds up.”

[nonesuche]

Oh Dihannah I can feel empathy for this family but I also cannot understand since my own daughter is best of friends with an Asian young lady of similar background, WHY this mother didn't seek assistance further. Cho kept a "death list" as early as middle school, he was suspended for this yet the mother still didn't access psychiatric care? The schools do bear some responsibility but also to ask 17 and 18 year old new college students/roommates to assist with Cho's problems?

My daughter's friend's mother speaks broken english too, yet when she had concerns even regarding simple grades that she worked with the system in our high school, and also produced two brilliant and high performing children. In the nine years we've known this family well not once did I ever feel they were not capable of managing their children as they should or supporting them as they should, nor making tough choices as we often are required to with our children.

As a christian I will surely try to forgive them but I simply cannot just toss this off as an immigrant family unsure where to turn, nor an arranged marriage gone awry. It was a clear lack of accountability IMO.

If  you haven't seen the tribute pages on CNN.com please go visit those to learn more about the victims from those who knew them, it's heart wrenching but I sat and read each and every one and said prayers for each. I want to acknowledge them, their potential, and the great loss each one represents to our world. I hope others can share in that effort.

[LouiseVargas]

Dear Tyler,

I do not believe Cho's parents taught him to hate. They came to Virginia and tried to do their very best for their children. They got a dry cleaning business and made enough money for Cho's sister's Sun-Kyung to graduate from Princeton in 2004. Then they sent Cho to VT. It seems to me they wanted the best for Cho and worked their asses off to make enough money to send the kids to the best universities.  

Almost all immigrants who come to the US with young children have a plan in place to work hard to get their kids educated so that they can be successful in America. Education is the key to a better life. They didn't know that Sun-Kyung's sucess would not carry over to their son.

I read that Cho's mama was asked what was wrong with him, at an early age, because he didn't talk. She said he is autistic, but I feel that is the excuse she gave to silence the questions. I think Cho's parents were so confused and maybe did not know what resources were available to help him. They were not able to give him appropriate guidance. When they realized he was not acting right, they tried to ignore it. Working full time, stuggling to make a living to support the kids, parents can get worn out.

[Patti]

The following is an e-mail I received from a neighbor
to victim, Reema Samaha.  I  thought you might find
it as touching as I did:


The tragedy at Virginia Tech last week demonstrated the diversity of nationality and ethnicity that defines the modern American university.  Among the fatalities were citizens of several foreign countries: Canada, Peru, India, Egypt, Indonesia, Israel/Romania, and Puerto Rico.  The killer was from Korea.  Of the Americans, one was a Chinese immigrant, and another lived in Germany for several years and had a German wife.  Two had strong ties to Lebanon.  One of these, Reema Samaha, was my neighbor.

So it was that I decided to extend my weekend and attend her funeral service today.  I didn't know Reema, but I have learned a lot about her over the past few days.  She was the youngest of the Virginia Tech victims, two months shy of her nineteenth birthday.  A freshman at Virginia Tech.  Her passion was dance of all kinds, and she was actively performing in both high school and college.  Ironically, she was stranded in a war zone in Beirut last summer while visiting relatives, and was among those evacuated by the American military.  She spoke Arabic and was conversant in French, which her mother taught at a local high school.  That explains her being in an Intermediate French class last week when the killer burst in, shot the teacher point blank, and proceeded to mow down Reema and eleven of her classmates, the highest death toll of any classroom.  Five students survived.

There were hundreds of people at the service this morning.  I got to the church early and managed to get a seat in the back, but many people were left standing.  There was a large overflow outside, along with many police and cameramen.  Luminaries were present.  Virginia's ex-governor, John Warner, sat behind me, and I later conversed with a major correspondent for an Arabic language newspaper whom I recognized from television.  The religion of the church is Christian Melkite.  They practice the Eastern rites of the Catholic Church.  They ultimately pay some fealty to Rome, but it mostly leaves them alone.  It's something of a bridge between the Catholic and Orthodox branches of Christianity, but is much smaller than either.   A majority of the members of this particular congregation have Middle Eastern backgrounds.  I have never before met so many Arabic speaking people.  Many congregants are from Lebanon, but Syria, and Egypt, and Armenia are also represented.  At the funeral today there were Arab Muslims as well.  The older priest who performed the funeral ceremony also baptized Reema and married her parents.  The Samahas are very active in this church.

I rode one of the busses that was provided to the cemetery.  I hesitated about going because of the size of the crowd,  but I am glad I decided to go because the weather was beautiful today and I ended up with a good vantage point.  There were nice gestures along the route: American flags at half staff, Virginia Tech colors and shirts.   At the gravesite there was another religious ceremony, followed by a walk by of the casket by all present, with many of the women dropping off a flower and kissing the casket. Reema's immediate family members were the first to leave.  

Back at the church we were served a "mercy meal", excellent Middle Eastern fare.  Then we saw a slideshow of photographs depicting the life of Reema, from her birth to young adulthood, put together by extended family members.  It was accompanied by music, sung mostly English but some in Arabic.  Very touching - there was not a dry eye in the house.

Joe Samaha is Reema's father.  He is a Lebanese American who studied at the American University in Beirut.  That's where he met Mona, Reema's father, who is a native of Lebanon and has an accent reflecting that.  They had three children, two girls and a boy, with Reema being the youngest.  Reema was very pretty, as is her mother.  In fact, all five members of the family, male and female, are strikingly good looking.  Joe has been thrust into the media limelight, but has handled himself very well.  Sunday's Washington Post featured his family on the front page, and I saw him interviewed this past week on both CNN and NBC.  Both Wolf Blitzer and Brian Williams were struck by how articulate and composed he was.  That was also true today.  He told us that "reema" means "fawn" in Arabic, and "samaha" means forgiveness.  He asked for sympathy for and remembrance of the families of the other victims, and the Choe family, whom he noted had also lost a son.   Other family members also spoke about Reema: cousins, an uncle, and her brother and sister.  Her godparents described the Samahas as deeply devoted to their children.  Even if Reema had only a short life, she was very much loved, something not true of every child.  All in all, it was a class act.  I introduced myself to Joe as his neighbor, and he welcomed me.  I told him I admired his strength of character.  

I trust I will never have to bear a burden as heavy as that of this family, but if I do I hope I can find the strength to conduct myself with the grace and dignity it has demonstrated these past few days.  

Tomorrow I go back to work.  In a few days the emotions of the past week will begin to fade.  Unfortunately, the Samaha family will feel their loss for the rest of their lives.