NEW JOKE HERE!!!!!

[justinsmama]

First Time Sex

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday
night to meet, and have dinner with her parents.
Since this is such a big event, the girl announces
to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like
to go out and make love for the first time .
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex
before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to
get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his
first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an
hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about
condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks
the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or
family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he
thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents
house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so
excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner
table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy
quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in
prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still
no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes
with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the
boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea
your father was a pharmacist."

[Angiex911dsptchr]

ROFLMAO  GOOD ONE!

[klaasend]

 

[Tibrogargan]

ANOTHER FUNNY :

This story happened a while ago in Brisbane, and even though it sounds
like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's true.

John Bradford, a Sydney University student, was on the side of the road hitch-hiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got in the car and closed the door, just to realise there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on.

The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life.  Then, just before he hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and turned the wheel.

John, paralysed with terror, watched how the hand repeatedly came through he window but never harmed him. Shortly thereafter John saw the lights of a pub down the road so, gathering strength, jumped out of the car and ran to it.

Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just experienced. A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realised he was crying and wasn't drunk.

Suddenly two other people walked into the same pub. They, like John, were also wet and out of breath. Looking around and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other,

"Look, Bruce .. there's that f***ing idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it."

[Sam]

Really cute Tibro,

 I had this conversation this afternoon with 8 year old neighbor girl. We have some heavy conversations sometimes. She asked me if I believed in Bloody Mary.I said I had never heard of Bloody Mary so she proceeds to tell me if you light a candle in a dark bathroom and look in the mirror and chant Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, the image of bloody Mary will appear in the mirror with blood running down her face.

I told her if I was to do all that the only person I would see in the mirror was myself unless someone was standing next to me.    

We then had to look it up on the internet. Well that led to me telling her about the Salem Witch Trials, so we had to look that up. This led to a discussion on God and the Devil. Was I ever glad when she decided she wanted to acrobatics for awhile.  

[NM]

Justins and Tib, great jokes!

Here's one that had me laughing.

Math 1950-2005

Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58.  The counter girl
took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my
pocket and gave it to her.  She stood there, holding the nickel and 3
pennies, while looking at the screen on her register.  I sensed her
discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she
hailed the manager for help.  While he tried to explain the transaction to
her, she stood there and cried.  Why do I tell you this?

Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:

1. Teaching Math In 1950

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.  His cost of production is
4/5 of the price.  What is his profit?

2. Teaching Math In 1960

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.&nb sp; His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80.  What is his profit?

3. Teaching Math In 1970

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.  His cost of production is
$80.  Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Math In 1980

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.  His cost of production is
$80 and his profit is $20.  Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Math In 1990

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and
inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the
preservation of our woodlands.  He does this so he can make a profit of $20.
What do you think of this way of making a living?  Topic for class
participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels
feel as the logger cut down their homes?  (There are no wrong answers.)

6. Teaching Math In 2005

Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100.  El costo de la
producciones es $80.