Home
Blog
Radio
Missing Persons
Crime
March 29, 2024, 12:16:26 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
1 Day
1 Week
1 Month
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
News
:
NEW CHILD BOARD CREATED IN THE POLITICAL SECTION FOR THE 2016 ELECTION
Home
Help
Login
Register
Scared Monkeys Discussion Forum
>
The Monkey Lounge
>
The Monkey Lounge
> Topic:
Disorder in the Court...
Pages:
1
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Disorder in the Court... (Read 1989 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
yapperz1
Monkey Junky
Offline
Posts: 1299
Disorder in the Court...
«
on:
June 07, 2007, 11:02:02 PM »
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts,
and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken
down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying
calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory
at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something
you forgot?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you
that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved
in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies
in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old
is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me?
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August
8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was gett'in laid!
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me? Your Honor, I think I need a
different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you
performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would
you like to rephrase that?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school
did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was
doing an autopsy on him!
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
___________________________________
--- And the best for last: ---
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive
when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive,
nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive
and practicing law.
Logged
I STAND WITH THE GIRL, NATALEE HOLLOWAY
ARUBA
LouiseVargas
Monkey Junky
Offline
Posts: 2524
Disorder in the Court...
«
Reply #1 on:
June 08, 2007, 12:38:44 AM »
It reminds me of a song by Warren Zevon
Disorder in the House
Disorder in the house
The tub runneth over
Plaster's falling down in pieces by the couch of pain
Disorder in the house
Time to duck and cover
Helicopters hover over rough terrain
Disorder in the house
Reptile wisdom
Zombies on the lawn staggering around
Disorder in the house
There's a flaw in the system
And the fly in the ointment's gonna bring the whole thing down
The floodgates are open
We've let the demons loose
The big guns have spoken
And we've fallen for the ruse
Disorder in the house
It's a fate worse than fame
Even the Lhasa Apso seems to be ashamed
Disorder in the house
The doors are coming off the hinges
The earth will open and swallow up the real estate
I just got my paycheck
I'm gonna paint the whole town grey
Whether it's a night in Paris or a Fresno matinee
It’s the home of the brave and the land of the free
Where the less you know the better off you'll be
Disorder in the house
All bets are off
I'm sprawled across the davenport of despair
Disorder in the house
I'll live with the losses
And watch the sundown through the portiere [/b]
Logged
Hope is everything. I see angels everywhere.
Pages:
1
Go Up
Print
Scared Monkeys Discussion Forum
>
The Monkey Lounge
>
The Monkey Lounge
> Topic:
Disorder in the Court...
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
FORUM RULES
-----------------------------
=> Forum Rules and Tips
-----------------------------
Polls, Polls and more Polls
-----------------------------
=> Missing Persons Polls
=> Current Events/News Polls
=> Crime and Trial Polls
=> Just For Fun Polls
-----------------------------
Missing Persons - High Profile
-----------------------------
=> Missing Persons High Profile
===> Dylan Redwine, 13yrs old, last seen 11/19/12, Vallecito, CO
===> Kyron Horman - Portland Oregon
===> Caylee Marie Anthony - Florida (BODY FOUND)
=====> Caylee's Law - by State
=======> Caylee's Law - text
=======> ALABAMA
=======> ALASKA
=======> ARIZONA
=======> ARKANSAS
=======> CALIFORNIA
=======> COLORADO
=======> CONNECTICUT
=======> DELAWARE
=======> DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA
=======> FLORIDA
=======> GEORGIA
=======> HAWAII
=======> IDAHO
=======> ILLINOIS
=======> INDIANA
=======> IOWA
=======> KANSAS
=======> KENTUCKY
=======> LOUISIANA
=======> MAINE
=======> MARYLAND
=======> MASSACHUSETTS
=======> MICHIGAN
=======> MINNESOTA
=======> MISSISSIPPI
=======> MISSOURI
=======> MONTANA
=======> NEBRASKA
=======> NEVADA
=======> NEW HAMPSHIRE
=======> NEW JERSEY
=======> NEW MEXICO
=======> NEW YORK
=======> NORTH CAROLINA
=======> NORTH DAKOTA
=======> OHIO
=======> OKLAHOMA
=======> OREGON
=======> PENNSYLVANIA
=======> PUERTO RICO
=======> RHODE ISLAND
=======> SOUTH CAROLINA
=======> SOUTH DAKOTA
=======> TENNESSEE
=======> TEXAS
=======> UTAH
=======> VERMONT
=======> VIRGINIA
=======> WASHINGTON
=======> WEST VIRGINIA
=======> WISCONSIN
=======> WYOMING
=====> Caylee Marie Anthony Murder Trial Archives
===> Sierra Lamar, 15yrs old, Morgan Hill, CA Missing Since March 16, 2012
===> JO ANN (JODIE) BAIN AND 3 DAUGHTERS MISSING 4/27/2012(2 murdered 2 safe)
===> Isabel Mercedes Celis, 6 yrs old missing 4/21/12 Tucson, AZ (Body Found)
===> Jennifer Kesse - Orlando/Ocoee, Florida
===> Susan Powell 28yrs old, missing 12/6/09 West Valley City, Utah
===> Michelle Loree Parker, Last Seen 11/17/11, Orlando, FL
===> Celina Cass, 11yrs old missing 7/25/11 New Hampshire
===> Aliayah Lunsford, 3yrs old, Weston, West VA, missing since 9/24/2011
===> Lisa Irwin, 10mo old missing since 10/4/2011 KC, MO
===> Robyn Gardner missing in Aruba August 2, 2011
=> Missing Persons - High Profile - Archives
-----------------------------
Virginia Area Missing and Murdered - possible connections
-----------------------------
=> Morgan Dana Harrington, 20yrs missing VA Tech 10/17/09(BODY FOUND)
=> Hannah Elizabeth Graham missing since 9/13/14 Charlottesville, VA
=> Alexis Murphy, missing since 8/3/13 Charlottesville, VA
=> Samantha Ann Clarke 19yrs. old Orange Va. Last seen 09/13/10
=> Dashad Sage Smith missing since 11/20/12 Charlottesville, VA
=> Cassandra Morton 23, Lynchburg, missing 10/10/09 body found 11/29/09
-----------------------------
High Profile Crimes and Trials (not missing persons)
-----------------------------
=> Jodi Arias trial - for the murder of Travis Alexander
=> Trial of George Zimmerman - 2nd Degree Murder of 17yr old Trayvon Martin
=> Scott Peterson Appeal of Murder Conviction
-----------------------------
Missing, Exploited and True Crime
-----------------------------
=> Missing Exploited and True Crime
===> Missing Persons Forum
=====> Missing Found or Presumed Deceased
=====> Missing Found Safe
=====> Missing Endangered Runaways
=====> Resourses, Search Groups and Fundraisers
===> Crimes Against Children, Elderly and the Disabled
===> Crimes of Passion/Anger
===> Serial Killers and Their Possible Victims
===> Unsolved Crimes
=====> Finally Solved
===> Haleigh Marie Cummings - Florida
===> Adji Desir - Florida
===> Somer Renee Thompson 7 yo, Orange Park FL 10/19/09(BODY FOUND)
===> Tracy Ocasio - Orlando/Ocoee, Florida
===> Shaniya Nicole Davis, 5 Fayetteville, NC Missing 11/10/09(BODY FOUND)
===> Holly Bobo, 20yrs old missing Parsons, TN 4/13/11
===> Hailey Dunn - 13yrs old - Colorado City, TX missing 12/27/10 (Body Found)
===> Elizabeth Olten - 9yrs, Jefferson City, MO missing 10/21/09 (BODY FOUND)
===> Lindsey Baum - McCleary, WA 6/26/09
===> Amber Leeanne Dubois 14yrs old - Escondido, CA(BODY FOUND)
===> Chelsea King, 17, Missing 2-25-2010 Rancho Bernadino CA (BODY FOUND)
===> Sandra Cantu, 8 years old - Tracy, CA(BODY FOUND)
===> Madeleine McCann - Portugal
===> Christine Marie Sheddy - missing since 11/13/2007 - Maryland(BODY FOUND)
===> Nevaeh Amyah Buchanan 5yr Monroe Michigan(BODY FOUND)
===> Gabriel Johnson 8 mo., last seen 12/26/09 Tempe AZ-San Antonio TX
===> Stacy Ann Peterson missing & Kathleen Savio murdered - Illinois
===> Zahra Clare Baker - 10yrs old Hickory, NC (Body Found)
-----------------------------
Natalee Holloway
-----------------------------
=> Natalee Holloway
=> Important Case Documents
===> Joran Statements/PV's
===> Paulus Statements/PV's
===> Deepak Statements/PV's
===> Satish Statements/PV's
===> Misc Statements/PV's
=> LCD Archive
=> Shango/Simian and other Codetalkers
-----------------------------
Current Events and Musings
-----------------------------
=> Monkey Musings / Open Discussion
=> Pop Culture Main
===> Hugely Popular TV Shows
===> Movies and Television
===> Social Media
===> Music
===> Books
===> Scared Monkeys Radio with Dana Pretzer
=> Health and Medical Issues
=> Food and Product Recalls
=> News of the Day
=> Business News
=> Sports
=> Political Forum
=> Religion (discussion and debate)
-----------------------------
The Monkey Lounge
-----------------------------
=> The Monkey Lounge
===> Fashion & Decorating
===> What's Cooking? Recipes
===> Games
=> Inspirational
===> Memorial - Gone but Never Forgotten
===> Gratefulness - Light a Candle in Prayer
===> Inspirational scriptures, songs, stories and prayers
-----------------------------
Natalee Discussions (2005 ARCHIVE)
-----------------------------
=> Natalee Holloway
=> Theory and Speculation
=> Links and References Only
=> Natalee Breaking News Archive
-----------------------------
General Discussions (2005 ARCHIVE)
-----------------------------
=> News Issues
=> Chit Chat
Loading...