JSM's BEGGING FOR BANNING #28 8/23/11 - 10/24/11

[cadillac]

Zoo- Take Care.  Are you okay?  Your mom is at peace now - no more pain.  Please find YOUR inner peace now.

Cad

[Bearlyhere]

So, hi everybody!  It has been a while since I have been down in the pen with you all.  I hope everybody is doing well.  It took me a good while to get over Caylee and the wenches acquittal, which is evidence to me that the world is ending. 

Anywho, first let me say, I am not a very religious person and am not looking for any sympathy.  I am just so confused and scared and looking for advice.

<snipped>

Anyway, has anybody ever gone through this and these feelings?

I'm sorry to hear this is happening to you, but I believe what you are feeling is quite normal.

Hearing this news about your mother has to be shocking and confusing for you.

Your feelings of shock, depression, anger, and guilt are all a part of the grieving process, which I believe you are going through.

We too, have lost our health benefits and that is a scary, helpless place to be. I understand your fears, but I also think they may be exaggerated right now because of what you are going through.

When I lost my mother, I read all I could on the grieving process, and that did help me feel that my feelings were normal.

I’m not sure what else to to say, but I want you to know I care.

I am sorry, Zoo, that you are going through this.  I have to agree with the others about it being grieving.  I have been having a terrible time with my parents and their illnesses.

Prayers for you.

[Green Eyes]

    Doctor said I have a slipped disc in my neck, that is why my hand is going numb. Now he wants me to take Prednisone for three weeks I hate that stuff, it makes me jittery, can't sleep and I swear I will gain 40 pounds.    I'm not taking it. 

Oh, no, this will never do.

Hi All Banners!

 

  Miss you Bearly

 

You guys were right.  I met someone online.  I am going cautious with this one.  Everything seems to add up, but I don't know yet.

Hi Bearly  

That's wonderful news. Prayers all works out. How are you and cubby bear doing?   

[Bearlyhere]

Heading home, leaving Josef at school tonight. My neck is hurting hopefully the steroids will kick in tomorrow.

Prayers for all in need and catch y'all later.

So sorry, JSM!

I am still cracking up thinking about who may have gotten that picture.  What if they just broke up with someone and think it's a message.  Oh, the possibilities are endless.....

 

[Bearlyhere]

Thanks everybody.  She died today at around 3:15 p.m.   

My condolences, Zoo.

 

[Bearlyhere]

    Doctor said I have a slipped disc in my neck, that is why my hand is going numb. Now he wants me to take Prednisone for three weeks I hate that stuff, it makes me jittery, can't sleep and I swear I will gain 40 pounds.    I'm not taking it. 

Oh, no, this will never do.

Hi All Banners!

 

  Miss you Bearly

 

You guys were right.  I met someone online.  I am going cautious with this one.  Everything seems to add up, but I don't know yet.

Hi Bearly  

That's wonderful news. Prayers all works out. How are you and cubby bear doing?   

Oh, GE, I miss you terribly.  Any chance we can have a gab fest soon?

 

[Green Eyes]

    Doctor said I have a slipped disc in my neck, that is why my hand is going numb. Now he wants me to take Prednisone for three weeks I hate that stuff, it makes me jittery, can't sleep and I swear I will gain 40 pounds.    I'm not taking it. 

Oh, no, this will never do.

Hi All Banners!

 

  Miss you Bearly

 

You guys were right.  I met someone online.  I am going cautious with this one.  Everything seems to add up, but I don't know yet.

Hi Bearly  

That's wonderful news. Prayers all works out. How are you and cubby bear doing?   

Oh, GE, I miss you terribly.  Any chance we can have a gab fest soon?

 

Sure any time after 9 my time.   

[Tevye]

Thanks everybody.  She died today at around 3:15 p.m.   

Oh, Zoo, I'm so sorry!

The fear you're feeling about potential cancer in your future is understandable. However, as my mom always says, "don't go borrowing trouble". I was diagnosed with breast cancer in the summer of Ought 9, and didn't have operations, chemo and rads until October. The fear I felt was overwhelming. So overwhelming that I don't remember most of that summer. And you know the worst thing about it? That was the summer our oldest grandson, the one I'm closest to, came to stay with us from Alaska. He tells me now we had lotsa fun, but dammitall, I DON'T REMEMBER! My fear ruled all.

Now, I've been thru all the operations, chemo and radiation. I still worry about getting cancer again, but not too much. I always say "What's the worst that could happen? I'd get cancer?" LOL! I do have blood tests every 6 months..there are things the onc doc looks for that could give us a heads up. But it's not something that causes me much worry. I don't have time to worry, I've got a life to live!

Which is a very long way of telling you that every second you waste worrying about something you can't control is a second you won't have to live your life. I know, right now, that sounds stupid (sorry, JSM!), but you think about it for a while. You'll understand.

As for your mom, well, what can I say? Are you my long lost sister? My mom isn't the warmest...to me, at least. There are 7 of us kids, and she has always had a favorite, my younger sister. So I get where you're coming from. Mom seems to be having some memory problems lately. Naturally, being a cancer survivor and all (oh, DARK humor!) I jokingly told my sister that when Mom starts forgetting her kids, I'll be the first one she forgets. I take up the smallest portion of her heart and mind. Believe it or not, it doesn't hurt to type those words. That's just the way it is. We get along fine, and when there's legal stuff or "cold hard facts" to be discussed, I'm the one who does it. I'm the only one who had the balls to help her draw up her "5 Wishes" plan (code or no code, treatments at end of life, etc.

Which is another long way of telling you that although your relationship with your mom wasn't perfect, you had one. Thru much difficulty, you still had one. You know, it's not all you in the relationship. The other person bears some responsibility too.

I think it's great that you and your mom were following Casey together. Even tho you didn't both see it the same way, at least you were watching it together. I bet that meant a lot to her.

As for why she went so fast, I'm betting that she knew all along and just didn't want to suffer or be a burden (that's my mom's worst fear). She wanted to go quickly...I know, too quickly for you, but it sounds like her timing was just right for her.

Finally, this may give you some comfort. I told myself that I would be a better mother and WAY better grandmother than my mom. I learn from negatives. Ask any of my kids or grandkids, I succeeded. It sounds like you have also. So, in a weird (almost Anthony-like-scary!) way, your mom did give you a very special gift. She taught you how NOT to be.

I will say prayers for you and your mom and families tonight. I hope you can go home to say goodbye. You need your sisters...SISTA POWER RULES! And hey, you might need a CD player too! Many many hugs and prayers are headed your way.

love
Tevye

[mymonkey]

Zoo..Sorry for your loss, you have many friends here in the cage that will help you and and pray for you...may your mother rest in peace.

[theboyzmom]

Thanks everybody.  She died today at around 3:15 p.m.   

I am so sorry. Hugs to you and all of the family. 

[Brandi]

Thanks everybody.  She died today at around 3:15 p.m.   

I am so sorry, Zoo. It's so sudden.

You, your mom and your family are in my thoughts.

My deepest condolences.

[Gypsy DD]

Thanks everybody.  She died today at around 3:15 p.m.   

Oh Zoo, I am so sorry.  Really peace and prayers to you and your family.  This will be a hard time..but a learning time..and a time of growth and understaning for you.  Please try to baby yourself and your kids and husband.  Get rest..eat right.  Then you will be able to make peace with yourself and your Mom...expect anger..the norm at the dead for not taking care of themselves..or how your relationship was...all normal..and let these feelings be felt..then release them to the good in your family..children  husband and yourself..and the world.  Healing takes time ..for the living in the aftermath of death.

[MuffyBee]

Thanks everybody.  She died today at around 3:15 p.m.   

I'm so sorry Zoo.   May your mother rest in peace. 

[joesamas mama]

Thanks everybody.  She died today at around 3:15 p.m.   

  So very sorry zoo, just logged in and read this. Peace and prayers for you and your family.

[joesamas mama]

Zoo I'm very sorry to hear about the situation you find yourself in.

Let me try to give you a different perspective if I may.  My mother died of ovarian cancer and my father died of lung cancer...I had breast cancer. None of these cancers were connected. I have two  sisters with no history of cancer. My husband died of pancreatic cancer 2 weeks after being diagnosed and 3 years before my diagnosis. None of this history makes my life any less  fulfilling or keeps me from doing whatever I want. Every day is a present and some days I wonder how in the world I ended up at this place but I am never bored or sorry for being here. Please know that your feelings are normal but time will change your perspective. I refuse to live in fear of what might befall me...just enjoy the life I have....
I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

 

[joesamas mama]

    Doctor said I have a slipped disc in my neck, that is why my hand is going numb. Now he wants me to take Prednisone for three weeks I hate that stuff, it makes me jittery, can't sleep and I swear I will gain 40 pounds.    I'm not taking it.  

Oh, no, this will never do.

Hi All Banners!

 

  Miss you Bearly

 

You guys were right.  I met someone online.  I am going cautiously with this one.  Everything seems to add up, but I don't know yet.

      That is wonderful Bearly, he is a lucky man!!!!! Nothing wrong with being cautious. SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

[joesamas mama]

Zoo I'm very sorry to hear about the situation you find yourself in.

Let me try to give you a different perspective if I may.  My mother died of ovarian cancer and my father died of lung cancer...I had breast cancer. None of these cancers were connected. I have two  sisters with no history of cancer. My husband died of pancreatic cancer 2 weeks after being diagnosed and 3 years before my diagnosis. None of this history makes my life any less  fulfilling or keeps me from doing whatever I want. Every day is a present and some days I wonder how in the world I ended up at this place but I am never bored or sorry for being here. Please know that your feelings are normal but time will change your perspective. I refuse to live in fear of what might befall me...just enjoy the life I have....
I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Aww 4Donks you are one wonderful women.  You have such a wonderful outlook about Life.  I hope your words to Zoo help her.

You are right about 4 Donks, her look in life is awesome and she is literally a Saint. 

[joesamas mama]

Heading home, leaving Josef at school tonight. My neck is hurting hopefully the steroids will kick in tomorrow.

Prayers for all in need and catch y'all later.

So sorry, JSM!

I am still cracking up thinking about who may have gotten that picture.  What if they just broke up with someone and think it's a message.  Oh, the possibilities are endless.....

 

Never thought about that scenario, would be hilarious if that was the case.

[cookie]

Zoo...very sorry for the loss of your mother..

[theboyzmom]

    Doctor said I have a slipped disc in my neck, that is why my hand is going numb. Now he wants me to take Prednisone for three weeks I hate that stuff, it makes me jittery, can't sleep and I swear I will gain 40 pounds.    I'm not taking it.  

Oh, no, this will never do.

Hi All Banners!

 

  Miss you Bearly

 

You guys were right.  I met someone online.  I am going cautiously with this one.  Everything seems to add up, but I don't know yet.

Yea!  Be careful but enjoy and keep us up to date!  (He is not one of the banned monkeys is he? I hear that those guys are a bit wild!)