JSM's BEGGING FOR BANNING #28 8/23/11 - 10/24/11

[joesamas mama]

Zoo, sorry about your mom, my prayers are with you.

Your feelings are normal about worrying that you will get cancer, but what you need to do is find a low cost clinic and get yourself checked out just to ease your mind.

What your mom is going through happened to my Grandma, but we knew she had breast cancer 25 plus years earlier but didn't know it came back to her lungs until it was too late.

Please know you are in my prayers as is your mom. 

Thank you JSM.     You are such a sweetie.  I knew you would be the first to answer my post.  You have such a good heart. 

  Please get yourself checked out Zoo and prayers for you all.

[joesamas mama]

So, hi everybody!  It has been a while since I have been down in the pen with you all.  I hope everybody is doing well.  It took me a good while to get over Caylee and the wenches acquittal, which is evidence to me that the world is ending. 

Anywho, first let me say, I am not a very religious person and am not looking for any sympathy.  I am just so confused and scared and looking for advice.

<snipped>

Anyway, has anybody ever gone through this and these feelings?

I'm sorry to hear this is happening to you, but I believe what you are feeling is quite normal.

Hearing this news about your mother has to be shocking and confusing for you.

Your feelings of shock, depression, anger, and guilt are all a part of the grieving process, which I believe you are going through.

We too, have lost our health benefits and that is a scary, helpless place to be. I understand your fears, but I also think they may be exaggerated right now because of what you are going through.

When I lost my mother, I read all I could on the grieving process, and that did help me feel that my feelings were normal.

I’m not sure what else to to say, but I want you to know I care.

 

[joesamas mama]

Zoo - I just read your post and wanted you to know how sad I am to hear of your mother's illness and fast demise.

For what it's worth, I also think what you are feeling is very normal.  You have been handed quite alot in a short amount of time.  Your emotions, and warranted emotions, have overwhelmed you.

It seems that you are saying there is not much you can do to help your mother right now, being that she is so ill and so far from you.  May I suggest that being the case, then you need to make peace with her.  In your heart.  However you are comfortable doing that - writing her a letter, writing your sister a letter, talking to a counselor/friend, or just going someplace quiet and talking to her from the heart?  I don't know - but you must not harbor any quilt about your relationship with her, as that could possibly affect the way you "mother".  And if I read between the lines, you are a great mother!

So from a stranger, make peace with your mother in your heart, and make your soul healthy with regard to her situation.

You have to eat, take care of your family and household, and you have to be healthy both physically and emotionally to do that.  Take care of yourself first right now and the rest will follow.

Cad

  Excellent advice Caddy.

[theboyzmom]

Zoo - I am so sorry. I am sorry that you did not have a great mother and sad that she is going through this. I have no wisdom to offer except to make peace with yourself. Your mother's choices were hers - if she decided not to get checked - that was her decision. Don't sweat the cancer on both sides thing - I have rampant cancer on both sides and have chosen to just accept that what ever life brings I will deal with then. If I get cancer, I will not look back and say I wished I had done {{{insert activity}}} - rather I want to look back as my dad and my grandparents did and with joy at all I did do. I will keep all of you in my prayers!

[ZooMomology]

Thanks everybody.  Mind boggling it is for sure.

I am heading to bed to try to sleep, but a small update.

My sister just called in hysterics.  The hpspice nurse was there and told her my mother prob does not have even 24 hours left and is making gurgling sounds and are giving her morphine around the clock and atropine (not sure what for) and it's just a matter of time now.  How does somebody go from walking and talking 3 weeks ago to this in absence of a traumatic event like a car accident, brain hemorrhage, etc., is beyond me. 

She also said my other sister is there (long strory on her too but i call her the bad sister), and my mother over many years has been quite the hoarder (although neatly) and buys like 12 CD players and just stores them "In case" one of her's breaks, and this bad sister has been walking around saying they are sitting on a gold mind all the stuff my mohter has.  So, my good sister blew up at her for saying that one too many times and nothing leaves the house, and that what the heck is wrong with her, is that all she thinks about? 

She also said my mother told her when she could still talk that she knew she has been sick for some time and that is why she has been avoiding her lately cause my good sister would have known she was sick and would have made her see a doctor.  Almost like she was wanting this to kill her and just let it take over. 

She also said today my mother woke up for 5 seconds and told her drawer.  My sister had no idea what she meant and started ripping all the drawers open in the house and she found a note my mother wrote her when she could still write, telling my good sister she loves her and what she wants done with her stuff. 

I have a very messed up family. 

[Green Eyes]

Zoo I am so sorry to hear you are having such a hard time right now. Everyone has given you wonderful advice.  There isn't much more I can add to what has been said. But  what Caddie said is so true. You have to take care of yourself first so you can take care of your family. 

I hope you can make peace with your mother in your heart and mind. Then the other things will work out. It's hard to loose a parent even when we aren't on the best of terms with them. Your mothers parenting skills were her choice just like your parenting skills are your choice. I would bet you consciously have chosen to be just the opposite of your mother.

Just know there are a lot of very caring Monkeys here to listen to you and offer you support. 

[Gypsy DD]

Morning everyone!
JSM, hope you are successful in finding out the problem with your numbness and will hope no hurtful exercise is necessary.
Was feeling a little better yesterday afternoon, but now feel horrid again with fever, cough, etc.  I am having a pitiful pearl party cause I want to feel better.  Have a meeting tonight that I cannot forgo so off to bed to rest some more.
Blessings to all . . .

Heavenly Father, please make Sister well, heal all her aches, pains, and fevers.  She has places to go and people who need her.  Please make her well.

 

[Gypsy DD]

Funny story....

You all know Josef and his tummy problems. The girls, vet and me are (I know this is sick) all excited when his tummy isn't bothering him and has normal poop. Anyways, I went to pick up Josef and the girl asked me if I got the pictures she texted me. I said no, what picture, she looked at her phone and it said they were sent. She looked at the number and it was the wrong one. She sent someone pictures of Josef outside with his poop with the title "seems like old times"   

LOL..I guess the person who got that pic was

[Gypsy DD]

Wh

    Doctor said I have a slipped disc in my neck, that is why my hand is going numb. Now he wants me to take Prednisone for three weeks I hate that stuff, it makes me jittery, can't sleep and I swear I will gain 40 pounds.    I'm not taking it. 

OMG,I am so sorry.That stuff does work against people. 
Makes me blow up like a balloon.
Ask them is there anything else you can do.....
LE is back.See ya'll in a little while.

Dang it Trimm I wish the nut jobs would just move. Prayers for you and hubs.  I am with JSM maybe we should get all the monkeys together and have a road trip to take care of some nuts. 

What is going on, Trimm (taking out my binoculars).

Same chit,different day.People want my property,I say no.People do not like that word.Now the Hockers want to remake the whole neighbor hood.I kid you not.
The upside is none of them have cursed any of my dead family members today. 
Patience........good will triumph evil.  (But boy am I tired.)

Goodness..these people are really full of themselves aren't they?

So sorry you have to go through this Trimm.

[Gypsy DD]

Zoo I am so sorry to hear you are having such a hard time right now. Everyone has given you wonderful advice.  There isn't much more I can add to what has been said. But  what Caddie said is so true. You have to take care of yourself first so you can take care of your family. 

I hope you can make peace with your mother in your heart and mind. Then the other things will work out. It's hard to loose a parent even when we aren't on the best of terms with them. Your mothers parenting skills were her choice just like your parenting skills are your choice. I would bet you consciously have chosen to be just the opposite of your mother.

Just know there are a lot of very caring Monkeys here to listen to you and offer you support. 

I second that Green Eyes.  Very good advice..making peace in your soul for the person passing and for yourself.  We are all only human..we each make choices some consciously and some just on instinct. 

Grieving is normal..both for yourself, for your Mom and for the relationship.

Peace and prayers to you and your family.

[joesamas mama]

Thanks everybody.  Mind boggling it is for sure.

I am heading to bed to try to sleep, but a small update.

My sister just called in hysterics.  The hpspice nurse was there and told her my mother prob does not have even 24 hours left and is making gurgling sounds and are giving her morphine around the clock and atropine (not sure what for) and it's just a matter of time now.  How does somebody go from walking and talking 3 weeks ago to this in absence of a traumatic event like a car accident, brain hemorrhage, etc., is beyond me. 

She also said my other sister is there (long strory on her too but i call her the bad sister), and my mother over many years has been quite the hoarder (although neatly) and buys like 12 CD players and just stores them "In case" one of her's breaks, and this bad sister has been walking around saying they are sitting on a gold mind all the stuff my mohter has.  So, my good sister blew up at her for saying that one too many times and nothing leaves the house, and that what the heck is wrong with her, is that all she thinks about? 

She also said my mother told her when she could still talk that she knew she has been sick for some time and that is why she has been avoiding her lately cause my good sister would have known she was sick and would have made her see a doctor.  Almost like she was wanting this to kill her and just let it take over. 

She also said today my mother woke up for 5 seconds and told her drawer.  My sister had no idea what she meant and started ripping all the drawers open in the house and she found a note my mother wrote her when she could still write, telling my good sister she loves her and what she wants done with her stuff. 

I have a very messed up family. 

  Prayers Zoo, I kinda thought that your mom may have known she had been sick and didn't go to the doctor, just let it ride its course. Glad your sister found the note and told bad sister off.

You aren't the only one with messed up families. I have seen the same thing happen in my family as well. Praying for you and peace be with you.

[joesamas mama]

Funny story....

You all know Josef and his tummy problems. The girls, vet and me are (I know this is sick) all excited when his tummy isn't bothering him and has normal poop. Anyways, I went to pick up Josef and the girl asked me if I got the pictures she texted me. I said no, what picture, she looked at her phone and it said they were sent. She looked at the number and it was the wrong one. She sent someone pictures of Josef outside with his poop with the title "seems like old times"   

LOL..I guess the person who got that pic was

  We don't know Gypsy. She had the first the digits of my phone number transposed.

[joesamas mama]

  Heading home, leaving Josef at school tonight. My neck is hurting hopefully the steroids will kick in tomorrow.

Prayers for all in need and catch y'all later.

[ZooMomology]

Thanks everybody.  She died today at around 3:15 p.m.   

[4 Donks]

Zoo I'm very sorry to hear about the situation you find yourself in.

Let me try to give you a different perspective if I may.  My mother died of ovarian cancer and my father died of lung cancer...I had breast cancer. None of these cancers were connected. I have two  sisters with no history of cancer. My husband died of pancreatic cancer 2 weeks after being diagnosed and 3 years before my diagnosis. None of this history makes my life any less  fulfilling or keeps me from doing whatever I want. Every day is a present and some days I wonder how in the world I ended up at this place but I am never bored or sorry for being here. Please know that your feelings are normal but time will change your perspective. I refuse to live in fear of what might befall me...just enjoy the life I have....
I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

[Bearlyhere]

    Doctor said I have a slipped disc in my neck, that is why my hand is going numb. Now he wants me to take Prednisone for three weeks I hate that stuff, it makes me jittery, can't sleep and I swear I will gain 40 pounds.    I'm not taking it.  

Oh, no, this will never do.

Hi All Banners!

 

  Miss you Bearly

 

You guys were right.  I met someone online.  I am going cautiously with this one.  Everything seems to add up, but I don't know yet.

[Bearlyhere]

Funny story....

You all know Josef and his tummy problems. The girls, vet and me are (I know this is sick) all excited when his tummy isn't bothering him and has normal poop. Anyways, I went to pick up Josef and the girl asked me if I got the pictures she texted me. I said no, what picture, she looked at her phone and it said they were sent. She looked at the number and it was the wrong one. She sent someone pictures of Josef outside with his poop with the title "seems like old times"   

 

[Bearlyhere]

Wh

    Doctor said I have a slipped disc in my neck, that is why my hand is going numb. Now he wants me to take Prednisone for three weeks I hate that stuff, it makes me jittery, can't sleep and I swear I will gain 40 pounds.    I'm not taking it. 

OMG,I am so sorry.That stuff does work against people. 
Makes me blow up like a balloon.
Ask them is there anything else you can do.....
LE is back.See ya'll in a little while.

Dang it Trimm I wish the nut jobs would just move. Prayers for you and hubs.  I am with JSM maybe we should get all the monkeys together and have a road trip to take care of some nuts. 

What is going on, Trimm (taking out my binoculars).

Same chit,different day.People want my property,I say no.People do not like that word.Now the Hockers want to remake the whole neighbor hood.I kid you not.
The upside is none of them have cursed any of my dead family members today. 
Patience........good will triumph evil.  (But boy am I tired.)

This has just been going on too long.  Hasn't the place been surveyed?  What is the holdup?

[Green Eyes]

Thanks everybody.  She died today at around 3:15 p.m.   

I am so sorry Zoo May your mom Rest in Peace.  

[Green Eyes]

Zoo I'm very sorry to hear about the situation you find yourself in.

Let me try to give you a different perspective if I may.  My mother died of ovarian cancer and my father died of lung cancer...I had breast cancer. None of these cancers were connected. I have two  sisters with no history of cancer. My husband died of pancreatic cancer 2 weeks after being diagnosed and 3 years before my diagnosis. None of this history makes my life any less  fulfilling or keeps me from doing whatever I want. Every day is a present and some days I wonder how in the world I ended up at this place but I am never bored or sorry for being here. Please know that your feelings are normal but time will change your perspective. I refuse to live in fear of what might befall me...just enjoy the life I have....
I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Aww 4Donks you are one wonderful women.  You have such a wonderful outlook about Life.  I hope your words to Zoo help her.