MONKEY MUSINGS DAILY OPEN DISCUSSION #60 04/23/12- 04/22/13

[klaasend]

Only fast because you told me about it, LOL.

Yeah, I just got the same thing again.  I just sent the info to our tech guy for him to check out.  About all I can do 

[BabsKats]

Only fast because you told me about it, LOL.

Yeah, I just got the same thing again.  I just sent the info to our tech guy for him to check out.  About all I can do 

Thankyou both, so many strange things happening on the net these days you just never know anymore.

 I've had some strange ones pop up lately, hubs just says cancel or click out of anything I'm not sure of.....getting as bad as all the spam that fills our mail.....

[grace-land]

When a pop up shows up on my screen, I do the following:

--with one finger, press and hold down the alt key
--with another finger, tap the f4 (function key; top row) once

The pop up should disappear.  Repeat this procedure every time a pop up appears.  It works for me.   

I've been told never to click on anything within the pop up.

[labubske]

Is there a place here on SM that I can ask a legal question (Estate) and see if anyone has an answer?  I respect the opinions of my fellow monkeys and I know that I would receive excellent feedback. Thanks in advance.

[klaasend]

Is there a place here on SM that I can ask a legal question (Estate) and see if anyone has an answer?  I respect the opinions of my fellow monkeys and I know that I would receive excellent feedback. Thanks in advance.

Right here would probably be as good a place as any.  I have some experience with Estates myself.

[klaasend]

Very cool iPhone or iPad App:

Tips & Tricks

Has tips and tricks for iPhone or iPad, lot's of things I had no idea what to do.  Very cool!  $.99

[labubske]

Is there a place here on SM that I can ask a legal question (Estate) and see if anyone has an answer?  I respect the opinions of my fellow monkeys and I know that I would receive excellent feedback. Thanks in advance.

Right here would probably be as good a place as any.  I have some experience with Estates myself.

Oh good...thanks!  I'm just going to copy and paste what I had previously typed out in my email (I am kind of upset tonight because I found out that he borrowed 88,000 against the house and still hasn't given me anything else).

My mother passed away in November of lung cancer. She became ill in May 2010. It traveled to her brain in April 2011. I am adopted and my brother is biological, I am older. I live out of state (since age 18). My brother has always lived with her (he is 30). My Mom bought a house with cash (2007-from her Mom's property-157,000). She has said that she was going to split money between my brother and I, but decided instead to invest it into a home. The intentions were either my brother would buy my portion of the house out once he improved his credit or they would help me to pay my bills over the years. My brother states that Mom didn't have to pay anything during the four years they lived in the house together, but her checkbook says different. I see in some months where Mom gave him 600-700 dollars. In April 2011, my brother talked Mom into signing the house over to him (Warranty Deed) and her truck. Now, this is the same week that the doctor found cancer in her brain. I am not sure if she was on any medication at this time. My brother did not tell me until the week before she died. So I could not ask her about it. He said they did that in case she had to go into a nursing home. When Mom was placed on hospice, I left my job out of state and took care of her the last five weeks, so that they could work and I could spend time with her. The life insurance was initially to be split between us, but my brother signed his over to me a few weeks before she passed. This equaled 38,000. He also gave me the truck 5,000. He also said that he would take a loan out for 10,000 to make it a little bit more fair (he did not give me this and has no intentions of this). Even though I knew that it wasn't fair, I agreed to it. That was until he didn't stick to his end of it. I disagreed with all of this, but just wanted to keep the peace and be there for Mom. There is no written agreement anywhere for the 10,000 (he also said that he would only get that amount because he would have to pay it back times three). When I confronted him about this, he said that there was a will that left me even less than I received. But nothing has been filed that I am aware of. She also had a retirement account that I never saw or asked about. Mom's intentions were for us to equally split everything, she has said this for years. They (my brother and his wife, as of July 2011) say that I am not entitled to as much because I wasn't around. I was around just not in state. She kept saying she just wanted everything to be fair (prior to passing). I feel that my brother took advantage of her. I want to see if I have a case. As a single mom I do not want to waste the money that I do have on attorney fees if I have little chance of "winning." Also, if there is a will wouldn't they need to file it? I don't think that is fair to hide it and use it to their advantage if I retain an attorney. I need to mention also that he is saying that debt collectors are coming after him for her debt (30,000) (I told him that I would gladly help pay anything, he says no-personally I don't believe he is paying). Thanks in advance.

[klaasend]

Is there a place here on SM that I can ask a legal question (Estate) and see if anyone has an answer?  I respect the opinions of my fellow monkeys and I know that I would receive excellent feedback. Thanks in advance.

Right here would probably be as good a place as any.  I have some experience with Estates myself.

Oh good...thanks!  I'm just going to copy and paste what I had previously typed out in my email (I am kind of upset tonight because I found out that he borrowed 88,000 against the house and still hasn't given me anything else).

My mother passed away in November of lung cancer. She became ill in May 2010. It traveled to her brain in April 2011. I am adopted and my brother is biological, I am older. I live out of state (since age 18). My brother has always lived with her (he is 30). My Mom bought a house with cash (2007-from her Mom's property-157,000). She has said that she was going to split money between my brother and I, but decided instead to invest it into a home. The intentions were either my brother would buy my portion of the house out once he improved his credit or they would help me to pay my bills over the years. My brother states that Mom didn't have to pay anything during the four years they lived in the house together, but her checkbook says different. I see in some months where Mom gave him 600-700 dollars. In April 2011, my brother talked Mom into signing the house over to him (Warranty Deed) and her truck. Now, this is the same week that the doctor found cancer in her brain. I am not sure if she was on any medication at this time. My brother did not tell me until the week before she died. So I could not ask her about it. He said they did that in case she had to go into a nursing home. When Mom was placed on hospice, I left my job out of state and took care of her the last five weeks, so that they could work and I could spend time with her. The life insurance was initially to be split between us, but my brother signed his over to me a few weeks before she passed. This equaled 38,000. He also gave me the truck 5,000. He also said that he would take a loan out for 10,000 to make it a little bit more fair (he did not give me this and has no intentions of this). Even though I knew that it wasn't fair, I agreed to it. That was until he didn't stick to his end of it. I disagreed with all of this, but just wanted to keep the peace and be there for Mom. There is no written agreement anywhere for the 10,000 (he also said that he would only get that amount because he would have to pay it back times three). When I confronted him about this, he said that there was a will that left me even less than I received. But nothing has been filed that I am aware of. She also had a retirement account that I never saw or asked about. Mom's intentions were for us to equally split everything, she has said this for years. They (my brother and his wife, as of July 2011) say that I am not entitled to as much because I wasn't around. I was around just not in state. She kept saying she just wanted everything to be fair (prior to passing). I feel that my brother took advantage of her. I want to see if I have a case. As a single mom I do not want to waste the money that I do have on attorney fees if I have little chance of "winning." Also, if there is a will wouldn't they need to file it? I don't think that is fair to hide it and use it to their advantage if I retain an attorney. I need to mention also that he is saying that debt collectors are coming after him for her debt (30,000) (I told him that I would gladly help pay anything, he says no-personally I don't believe he is paying). Thanks in advance.

#1  What state did your mom live in? 
#2  So he is saying that she signed over the entire home to him?  That sounds like alot of BS to me too. 
#3  It might be worth it to find a good family law attorney, bite the bullet and pay the $300 an hour or whatever he would charge for a consultation.  He could probably tell you if it's worth your while to pursue it.

What state you lived in has nothing to do with how much you deserve.  Your mothers wishes are everything but I know people when they are ill can sign things they don't fully understand.

I had a situation where a family member had my mother make some changes to her trust when she was in no position to.  Most of it we couldn't do a thing about.  This person made himself the executor of the remaining trusts.  As it turns out, he was paying himself as trustee way more than he was allowed.  One of my sisters and I went to a family law attorney and he sent a letter and this person agreed to step down as executor and pay back the trust $80k.  It was either that or we would take him to court which could result in criminal charges.

So it can be done but it's not pretty and not cheap.  It was worth it in our case but each case is different.  If you are talking about $10k, probably not worth it.  But if there is a possibility of 1/2 of the value of the home and life insurance, then maybe worth it. 

Different laws in different states.  Cost of attorneys vary as well. 

So bottom line is this, if you are wanting to get the 10k out of your brother I doubt you'll get it unless voluntarily from him.  If it's more then you probably should at least ask an attorney what he thinks.

Sorry I can't be of more help.

[labubske]

Is there a place here on SM that I can ask a legal question (Estate) and see if anyone has an answer?  I respect the opinions of my fellow monkeys and I know that I would receive excellent feedback. Thanks in advance.

Right here would probably be as good a place as any.  I have some experience with Estates myself.

Oh good...thanks!  I'm just going to copy and paste what I had previously typed out in my email (I am kind of upset tonight because I found out that he borrowed 88,000 against the house and still hasn't given me anything else).

My mother passed away in November of lung cancer. She became ill in May 2010. It traveled to her brain in April 2011. I am adopted and my brother is biological, I am older. I live out of state (since age 18). My brother has always lived with her (he is 30). My Mom bought a house with cash (2007-from her Mom's property-157,000). She has said that she was going to split money between my brother and I, but decided instead to invest it into a home. The intentions were either my brother would buy my portion of the house out once he improved his credit or they would help me to pay my bills over the years. My brother states that Mom didn't have to pay anything during the four years they lived in the house together, but her checkbook says different. I see in some months where Mom gave him 600-700 dollars. In April 2011, my brother talked Mom into signing the house over to him (Warranty Deed) and her truck. Now, this is the same week that the doctor found cancer in her brain. I am not sure if she was on any medication at this time. My brother did not tell me until the week before she died. So I could not ask her about it. He said they did that in case she had to go into a nursing home. When Mom was placed on hospice, I left my job out of state and took care of her the last five weeks, so that they could work and I could spend time with her. The life insurance was initially to be split between us, but my brother signed his over to me a few weeks before she passed. This equaled 38,000. He also gave me the truck 5,000. He also said that he would take a loan out for 10,000 to make it a little bit more fair (he did not give me this and has no intentions of this). Even though I knew that it wasn't fair, I agreed to it. That was until he didn't stick to his end of it. I disagreed with all of this, but just wanted to keep the peace and be there for Mom. There is no written agreement anywhere for the 10,000 (he also said that he would only get that amount because he would have to pay it back times three). When I confronted him about this, he said that there was a will that left me even less than I received. But nothing has been filed that I am aware of. She also had a retirement account that I never saw or asked about. Mom's intentions were for us to equally split everything, she has said this for years. They (my brother and his wife, as of July 2011) say that I am not entitled to as much because I wasn't around. I was around just not in state. She kept saying she just wanted everything to be fair (prior to passing). I feel that my brother took advantage of her. I want to see if I have a case. As a single mom I do not want to waste the money that I do have on attorney fees if I have little chance of "winning." Also, if there is a will wouldn't they need to file it? I don't think that is fair to hide it and use it to their advantage if I retain an attorney. I need to mention also that he is saying that debt collectors are coming after him for her debt (30,000) (I told him that I would gladly help pay anything, he says no-personally I don't believe he is paying). Thanks in advance.

#1  What state did your mom live in? 
#2  So he is saying that she signed over the entire home to him?  That sounds like alot of BS to me too. 
#3  It might be worth it to find a good family law attorney, bite the bullet and pay the $300 an hour or whatever he would charge for a consultation.  He could probably tell you if it's worth your while to pursue it.

What state you lived in has nothing to do with how much you deserve.  Your mothers wishes are everything but I know people when they are ill can sign things they don't fully understand.

I had a situation where a family member had my mother make some changes to her trust when she was in no position to.  Most of it we couldn't do a thing about.  This person made himself the executor of the remaining trusts.  As it turns out, he was paying himself as trustee way more than he was allowed.  One of my sisters and I went to a family law attorney and he sent a letter and this person agreed to step down as executor and pay back the trust $80k.  It was either that or we would take him to court which could result in criminal charges.

So it can be done but it's not pretty and not cheap.  It was worth it in our case but each case is different.  If you are talking about $10k, probably not worth it.  But if there is a possibility of 1/2 of the value of the home and life insurance, then maybe worth it. 

Different laws in different states.  Cost of attorneys vary as well. 

So bottom line is this, if you are wanting to get the 10k out of your brother I doubt you'll get it unless voluntarily from him.  If it's more then you probably should at least ask an attorney what he thinks.

Sorry I can't be of more help.

Thank you for taking the time to offer feedback.  It really does help to hear someone else's take on it.  Mom lived in Oklahoma.  I never wanted half...I know that he was up there with Mom (even though SHE took care of HIM).  He did the little things like change her oil...pick her up from somewhere...and so on...I just wanted him to follow through with what he said.  A part of me wants to go for half now...but, another part of me says KARMA will give him exactly what he gave plus some.  I only have two years to take him to court.  I think that I will fly in and at least speak with an attorney.  Thanks again, Klaas. 

[crazybabyborg]

I got caught in the nightly shut down and Klaas posted first to you labubske! Klaas is faster than a speeding bullet, you know! 

Anyway, here's what I was typing. I agree, BTW, with everything Klaas posted.


I'm so sorry for your loss, labubske.

Sadly, I've had to handle the estates of both my Mom and Dad, and I'll try to offer you a few things that might help. First, purely from a legal perspective, it doesn't matter who spent time with her or even what she wanted. It does matter if your Mom had a Last Will and Testimony and if so, what it says. Whatever she gave your brother while she was alive was her choice, unless you could prove she was impaired mentally. If you had contact with her after the cancer metastasized  to her brain, you might be able to make a determination about that. Speaking with her Oncologist could also be helpful in that regard.

If there is a Will, as he said, you are certainly entitled to a copy of it. Someone should be named in it to be the administrator or executor of her estate (I forget which is which, but one is for the person charged with carrying out the wishes of the deceased as outlined in the Will, and the other is the one charged with discharging an estate where there is no Will according to State Law in such matters). Either way, someone is named to discharge the Estate and that comes with obligations. If your Mom didn't name him, then you are just as qualified as he is to be that person. If you and he can't agree about that, a court can settle that for you.

A Will has to be probated and that involves filing the Will in public records. Here, that's at the courthouse of the county seat. First, the executor must be able to show that all of her debts have been paid and that includes burial expenses. After that, her assets must be distributed according to the Will. Just keep in mind that unless she legally directed otherwise, you are entitled to everything he is, EQUALLY. Part of being an executor is being able to clearly show to all heirs exactly where her estate has been/is being distributed and that starts with an inventory of what the assets are. The life insurance is interesting. I'm not quite sure how he "signed over" that to you before her death. Most life insurance has a specific named beneficiary and collecting always requires a certified death certificate. Your brother is obligated to supply invoices and receipts of bills paid on her behalf, banking records of account balances at the time of her death, an inventory of her home (if she owned it) and household goods, etc. I'd check to see when the house deed was registered in his name. That might prove interesting.

If you don't want to contact a lawyer right now, it might be very enlightening to simply call the Office of Public Records at the County Seat of where your Mother died, and ask how you go about administering your Mother's Will. I would just tell them that your Mom is very ill and you don't know what to do when she passes. Whatever process they tell you is exactly the process your brother should be following. They might also instruct you how to go about checking that deed, too.

I'm sure that others can offer more help, labubske. I'm so sorry you're going through this, but if your hinky meter is up over your brother's handling of this, my instincts say listen to it! Best wishes this all works out as it should!

[klaasend]

CBB - you are so much better than me at explaining, thank you!

[crazybabyborg]

CBB - you are so much better than me at explaining, thank you!

Thanks, Klaas, but you're far more to the point than I am. My Dad used to apologize for writing a long letter. He always said he didn't have time to write a short one, and he was serious!

I am SO EXCITED!!! I just ordered my coffee mug!!   Thank You, Thank You for doing them, Klaas!! Those mugs are my very favorite and one of my old ones is chipped! I love the cup size, the handles are good and roomy and the handle stays cool after reheating coffee in the microwave! Not to mention that your artwork is like sharing a cup of coffee with good friends. It never fails to make me feel good!

 

[labubske]

Thank you CBB.  I certainly appreciate you taking the time to respond.  I am going to call the courthouse this morning. I did explain the life insurance part wrong...sorry about that.  Mom had each of us getting half.  He had Mom make me the beneficiary of all of that (38,000).  Likewise, he had Mom sign a Warranty Deed giving him the house when she died.  I am not familiar with Warranty Deed's so I do not know how they work when someone dies.  He had her do that so in case she had to go into a nursing home (that is what he told me)...yet, later said it was to keep the house out of probate.  So all in all her intentions were not to give the house to my brother...but to keep it out of probate.  I am guessing that she assumed he would make everything fair.  For example, instead of taking out a loan against the house for 88,000 and buy two new cars...he could have made things fair between he and I.  I just don't want to spend money that I do have and waste it on something that I have no chance at making right.

I ended up with 43,000 (life insurance and truck)
He ended up with 159,000 (home that is paid for and a couple thousand in retirement)

It doesn't seem fair.  That's all.  I miss my Mom more than the money...and would give it all back just to see her again.

[Bearlyhere]

CBB - you are so much better than me at explaining, thank you!

Thanks, Klaas, but you're far more to the point than I am. My Dad used to apologize for writing a long letter. He always said he didn't have time to write a short one, and he was serious!

I am SO EXCITED!!! I just ordered my coffee mug!!   Thank You, Thank You for doing them, Klaas!! Those mugs are my very favorite and one of my old ones is chipped! I love the cup size, the handles are good and roomy and the handle stays cool after reheating coffee in the microwave! Not to mention that your artwork is like sharing a cup of coffee with good friends. It never fails to make me feel good!

 

 

[klaasend]

Thanks CBB!  Yeah I have the small mug and really like it.  The handles are great!  Artwork turned out pretty darn good if I do say so myself.  I've learned so much about images over the last several years 

[crazybabyborg]

Thank you CBB.  I certainly appreciate you taking the time to respond.  I am going to call the courthouse this morning. I did explain the life insurance part wrong...sorry about that.  Mom had each of us getting half.  He had Mom make me the beneficiary of all of that (38,000).  Likewise, he had Mom sign a Warranty Deed giving him the house when she died.  I am not familiar with Warranty Deed's so I do not know how they work when someone dies.  He had her do that so in case she had to go into a nursing home (that is what he told me)...yet, later said it was to keep the house out of probate.  So all in all her intentions were not to give the house to my brother...but to keep it out of probate.  I am guessing that she assumed he would make everything fair.  For example, instead of taking out a loan against the house for 88,000 and buy two new cars...he could have made things fair between he and I.  I just don't want to spend money that I do have and waste it on something that I have no chance at making right.

I ended up with 43,000 (life insurance and truck)
He ended up with 159,000 (home that is paid for and a couple thousand in retirement)

It doesn't seem fair.  That's all.  I miss my Mom more than the money...and would give it all back just to see her again.

I know how much it hurts, labubske, and I understand how you feel about the money. You just want what's right. None of this means anything compared to you missing your Mom. Let us know how it's going. Thinking about you!

Klaas, I've always thought you knew everything about images! Anything I ever had a question about, I always came to you and you either knew the answer or went into your bionic mode and got it in a split second!  My favorite mug right now is the Christmas tree you did. I kept checking in on that thread, seeing all the requests and chuckling. I knew you'd figure out how to get everybody in there, but I'm positive nobody else could have!  There was such good feelings around it and you did an outstanding job! Honestly, you really added a lot of joy to that Christmas for me. I'm thinking the Justice Train is going to give that one a run for the money. I can't wait to get it!!

Geez.............. now I want a cup of coffee............ sun's almost up so it's time anyway! Me and my Mug are going to start the day!!

[klaasend]

DON'T MISS THE DANA PRETZER SHOW TONIGHT AT 9PM ET!



CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW TO LISTEN

http://scaredmonkeysradio.com/radio.m3u

[seahorse]

https://familysearch.org/1940census/

Green Eyes,

California is searchable, according to this map. I am waiting for Pennsylvania which is half completed,

GOOD LUCK, digging!

P.S. For anyone who is not aware of the technique, pass you mouse over the map.

[seahorse]

DON'T MISS THE DANA PRETZER SHOW TONIGHT AT 9PM ET!



CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW TO LISTEN

http://scaredmonkeysradio.com/radio.m3u

Thank-you, Klaas, sounds like a good show.

[tupelohoney]

Where can I learn about the coffee mugs?  I would love one if it's possible.

Also, is there a history page about SM...when it started, first case covered, etc.?  TIA