http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/1207/30/ddhln.01.htmlDR. DREW
Colorado Killer Charged Today;
Dottie Defends Child Molester: Why?Aired July 30, 2012 - 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
DR. DREW PINSKY, HOST: Here we go.
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And later, Dottie Sandusky is standing by her man. I`m asking, will you stand by your husband`s side no matter what, or is there a line he could cross that would push you away?
I want to hear from you all hour. Let get started.
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We`re going to talk next about Dottie Sandusky and the fact that she stands by her convicted child molester husband. She says she loves him. Would you stand by a guy like that or at what point would you tell a guy to scram? Call us now, 855-DrDrew5.
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(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
VOICE OF JERRY SANDUSKY, FORMER ASSISTANT COACH: And I didn`t go around, seeking out every young person for sexual needs that I`ve helped. There are many that I didn`t have -- I hardly had any contact with who I have helped in many, many ways.
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PINSKY: And that was the voice of Jerry Sandusky in an interview with Bob Costas for NBC`s "Rock Center." Now, those words are very spooky to hear that interview. Sandusky`s wife, Dottie, says, oh, I still love my husband. I`ve been married to him 46 years and he is, quote, "not who they say he is," unquote.
So, the question tonight is, would you stand by your man through something like this or something other? I`m back with former prosecutor, Marcia Clark, also joining us, clinical psychologist, Michelle Golland. And before the break, I said something about at what point would you tell a guy to scram?
I don`t know where that word came from, but the point is what is it that motivates women to stay by these guys?
MICHELLE GOLLAND, PH.D., CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST: Well, I think when I`ve looked at Dottie Sandusky, she fits the profile of a lot of these women who stay with pedophiles, which is they are often very submissive, very usually religious, and they create sort of this story that they need to uphold in the public and in their family and in the private life.
PINSKY: Weren`t they often -- my experience, often sexually abused themselves. I`m not saying Dottie is or was not, but just -- that`s just sort of the pattern I see.
GOLLAND: Yes, and they often have other sort of psychiatric disorders. They can have depression, low self-esteem, even an alcohol issue, and other things that are being kept secret, right, that there`s a culture of secrecy within the home. I keep your secret, you keep my secret.
PINSKY: -- you are as sick as your secrets. Marcia, however, what we`re calling sick, I wonder if it`s pragmatic from a legal standpoint. In other words, can she not say too much, both from the standpoint of Sandusky getting appeals and the (INAUDIBLE)
CLARK: There`s nothing in it for her to admit that she knew anything.
PINSKY: From a legal standpoint.
CLARK: From a legal standpoint, absolutely right. But emotional, too. She`s not in a position even emotionally to want to admit that she knew what was going on all along. Legally speaking, it`s dangerous for her to do that.
PINSKY: All right. it`s dangerous. That`s what I want to get at.
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PINSKY: So, she could take a liability if she says I had a sneaking suspicion.
CLARK: Sneaking suspicion, no. But if she admits at this point, yes, I knew what was going on all along, I just, you know, I just stayed because I needed to keep the family intact, whatever she says, she is subject to some kind of criminal liability. There is a possibility for that there. So, there`s nothing in it for her legally.
There`s no benefit to her legally to admit anything, and then of course, from an emotional -- and civil liability, of course, as well, but emotionally speaking, probably even more so. She doesn`t want to be that person who allowed all these little boys to be molested and abused in her house.
GOLLAND: And often what they do is they do know, they have an inkling, but they also do behaviors so that they never actually see it like they announce that they`re coming in the room. Like, oh, how`s everyone doing in there? So, that everything can stop.
PINSKY: It`s too painful to see. They don`t want to see it.
GOLLAND: They don`t want to see it, because they are in denial and they rationalize everything.
PINSKY: OK.
GOLLAND: And the other question I had is, anyone curious why none of the people at Penn State went to her when there were questions about --
PINSKY: You mean, back in 1998, way back?
GOLLAND: In 1998, in 2001, in any of these? I mean, when we look at our society nowadays, the problem that we`re not facing is we need to call people out. And the more we do that in different venues, that would have changed, I think, some of how this course went or how quickly it became.
PINSKY: I agree with you. Let`s go out to callers. Kathy in Wisconsin -- Kathy.
KATHY, WISCONSIN: Yes, Dr. Drew.
PINSKY: Hi, Kathy. What do you got?
KATHY: Absolutely I would not stand by my husband if he was a child molester. In fact, I would try to inflict great bodily harm --
PINSKY: Good, Kathy. Well done. Well, what about if he were a cheater?
KATHY: Been there done that, too. So, no. Bye-bye.
PINSKY: Oh, you just took off when the guy showed himself to be not, what we should say, faithful?
KATHY: Yes. Yes. Yes. None of that. He hits you, if he cheats on you -- I was molested as a child, and I`m telling you, hard line on that.
PINSKY: Well, Kathy, let me ask you a harder question, did you have a tendency to bring guys into your life that were sort of untrustworthy and perpetrators?
KATHY: No, I have three daughters. And I was very careful with my children. So --
PINSKY: OK. Even so -- though, Michelle and I, you know, heard many cases like that.
GOLLAND: Yes. That we sort of attract what we want to fix. And we don`t even realize that we`re doing it. And I really go back to the point that we need to be curious. If we are curious about something going on within our home or within someone else`s home, you know, you and I, we have the duty to protect. As soon as someone says something that triggers that in me, I have to make calls.
PINSKY: Yes.
GOLLAND: So, we, as a society, I think, need to start doing that.
PINSKY: Well, Michelle, it`s funny you would said it. That`s the thing -- you`ve heard me say before, Marcia, that`s what really bugs me about the Penn State thing is that the administration didn`t know they had an abject, complete obligation. They didn`t seem to be aware of it.
CLARK: I don`t buy it.
PINSKY: I don`t think they were.
CLARK: Oh, I do.
PINSKY: Not really.
CLARK: The e-mails. No, they`re e-mailing back and forth --
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PINSKY: If they understood, they sort of boom (ph), would have taken it off their table.
GOLLAND: Not at all. Not at all.
CLARK: Absolutely not.
PINSKY: Listen, I worry that other administrators out there maybe don`t understand fully their obligation, because they`re not licensed in the way and trained the same way some of us are clinically. I just worry about that. So, let`s learn from that at least.
GOLLAND: OK. What about just the human thing? Forget about law --
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PINSKY: I`m with you on the human part. That part we`ve been crushing on, but I just worry that there were people don`t understand if they`re around kids and they even have a suspicion that something is going wrong, they report it to the people that can look into it and take action.
Next, all right, I`m going to talk more about women who stand by their men. I`m going to take your calls. Marcia and Michelle will stay with me. We`re not going away.
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PINSKY: Back to the phones. We`re talking about Dottie Sandusky. Adelaide in Texas -- Adelaide.
ADELAIDE, TEXAS: Yes. Thinking about the sexual activity with teachers, with children that`s been in the news and court and looking at the fact that within this household, is it possible that not only was Mr. Sandusky involved with the children, that perhaps, his wife was also involved in that particular activity and children and women are not really being asked the question, are they being sodomized --
PINSKY: Oh, boy.
ADELAIDE: -- their husbands are guilty of this behavior.
PINSKY: All right. Well, hold on now. Janet, were you abused yourself -- is that your name, Janet?
ADELAIDE: I`m Adelaide.
PINSKY: Adelaide, did you have sexual abuse yourself?
ADELAIDE: No, I did not.
PINSKY: OK.
ADELAIDE: I`m (INAUDIBLE), and I`m looking at a culture that does not discuss sex very well, and I watch you for many years.
PINSKY: Got it.
ADELAIDE: -- women has not really come up in sexual activity where you do everything --
PINSKY: OK. Slow down. Who wants to tackle that? Michelle is shaking her head vigorously.
GOLLAND: I`ll tackle that.
PINSKY: OK.
GOLLAND: So, I would not predict that Dottie Sandusky was involved in this.
PINSKY: OK.
GOLLAND: But I think she was in great denial.
PINSKY: Yes. I mean, you and I deal with these kinds of cases a lot.
GOLLAND: Yes.
PINSKY: And the pattern is not what Adelaide suspects. That`s just not the way it plays out.
GOLLAND: No. I mean, what I would suspect is, they were not having much sex at all.
PINSKY: Right.
GOLLAND: Early and for a very long time.
PINSKY: That`s right.
GOLLAND: And I really think, too, our generation needs to be far more diligent. And so, you know, we`ll search people`s -- our spouse`s computers if we`re worried there`s infidelity, if we`re worried about that sort of thing. I think if we`re suspicious about other things, I think we need to be curious even with those who are in our life.
And what is known is that police don`t often have the spouse bring the computer in and say I found this.
PINSKY: Well, these days, there`s a lot more of that. A lot more.
(CROSSTALK)
PINSKY: Janet in Kentucky. Janet, real quick, I`m running out of time. What do you got?
JANET, KENTUCKY: I`m just going to say that I might stay with my husband for a lot of things, but, being a child molester wouldn`t be one of them, because if you think about it, even the murderers and rapists in prison are willing to kill them.
CLARK: That`s true. That`s true. I mean, there`s absolute truth to the fact that when they go to prison, child molesters are in grave, grave danger. That`s not a myth. There`s a lot of myths about what happens in prison. That is not a myth. That`s one is true.
PINSKY: Is Sandusky in danger?
CLARK: Yes. Yes. Of course, I`m sure he needed (ph) protective custody. I`m sure he is. But, then, they`ve got to watch out very carefully, because it would be a trophy for some of those lifers, they have nothing to lose, to kill Sandusky.
PINSKY: That is something. That`s sort of chilling to think about that. All right, ladies, thank you very much for having joined. And Marcia, spending the evening with me.
CLARK: As always.
PINSKY: Michelle, thank you as always. I appreciate it. We`ll hear more from you as we go along through the week. And, we`ll hear more from you guys after the break. 373-7395.
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