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Author Topic: JSM's BEGGING FOR BANNING #31 3/25/12 - 5/20/13  (Read 1108912 times)
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joesamas mama
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Patton is my babe. RIP my Josef I love you both!


« Reply #500 on: April 15, 2012, 02:58:14 PM »

Here's an encouraging ice skating story for JSM. Ya' gotta read the whole thing.   



http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/for-a-dc-hairdresser-a-love-of-figure-skating-becomes-a-dream-fulfilled/2012/04/10/gIQAZ8vD9S_story.html?wprss&google_editors_picks=true
For a D.C. hairdresser, a love of figure skating becomes a dream fulfilled
April 12, 2012

 ::snipping2::
On Friday, Bolek, who is now 46 and who could not so much as manage a toe pick seven years ago, will compete nationally for the first time in the 2012 U.S. Adult Figure Skating Championships.

Ill say hes enthusiastic, says his coach, Barbara Walker. He wants to learn. What else can I say? Of all my students, he has the most fun.
 ::snipping2::

Photo Gallery at Link


Comments:


NonnyMouse
4/10/2012 11:16 PM CDT
I love this story. I am also a skater who began taking lessons as an adult - after just skating at the neighborhood pond in Canada. Great to go to the rink and learn now- so much fun.
I wish him BIG luck at the championships!
What a wonferful story Muffy. We had four adult skaters that went to Adult Nationals and three of them place 1st, 2nd and 4th. Really proud of them and two of the three started skating as adults. Gives me hope.  an angelic monkey
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joesamas mama
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Patton is my babe. RIP my Josef I love you both!


« Reply #501 on: April 15, 2012, 03:09:43 PM »

Happy Sunday Monkeys. Woke up late, torrential rain on the way to the rink, thought we wouldn't make it. Thankfully CC drives safely and got me there just in time to get dressed, skates on and order me a T shirt. Practiced this program only twice Friday since the last time I skated last year. I didnt forget a thing, best I think I have ever skated. When they called my name the two guys that drive the Zamboni were at the end of the rink POUNDING on the glass  Monkey Devil! One of them promised he would watch me skate, didn't know that they would act like it was a hockey game 

Had to wait FOREVER for the scores, by the time we got them, got my medal and pictures I had to throw on my skating paints OVER my dress and haul butt to Mass. Bet I kinda looked ridiculous with a skating jacket open and all you can see is flesh colored material with sequins.

I really have to thank all you monkeys for giving me the courage and special thoughts. I have to really applaud TBM for the dress, she went over and above, and there were so many compliments on the dress they were asking where I got it and can they order from her?  So TBM you are the new Vera Wang of figure skating design. 

Prayed for all of those in need and the victims of the tornados. I know they are moving east so PLEASE stay safe all of you.

Monkey hugs and Kisses. JSM
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joesamas mama
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Patton is my babe. RIP my Josef I love you both!


« Reply #502 on: April 15, 2012, 03:12:49 PM »

Ribbon Competition this morning.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/c8NVU3-haMI?version=3&amp;amp;hl" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/c8NVU3-haMI?version=3&amp;amp;hl</a>
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joesamas mama
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Patton is my babe. RIP my Josef I love you both!


« Reply #503 on: April 15, 2012, 03:19:36 PM »

One more very special story today about skating at the rink. The group behind me had two boys in it. One of them was a teenager, not sure what age, good skater, missed a lot of his jumps and spins in practice.

It was his turn on the ice for competition, he was missing parts of his music until his coach told the runner, tell them to UP the music, the kid was HEARING IMPAIRED, only could read lips. Once they turned his music up, OMG he was PERFECT!!!!! I was so proud of that young man and impressed with his skating. Enough skating stories, I am whooped and need to take Patton outside. I will probably be in bed by six am.

Love and prayers monkeys!!!!! Hugs JSM
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« Reply #504 on: April 15, 2012, 03:48:18 PM »

JSM, we didn't get a drop of rain out this way this morning, suns been shining since dawn - what a difference a few miles make!

You looked great in the video this morn, congratulations 

TBM, sounds like you may have a new business venture in the works, the dress really was beautiful our gal looked wonderful in it!

Great story about the young man JSM, its amazing what those kids can do.

Everyone stay safe out there, this has been a devastating year with these tornadoes.  I have a friend in Wichita, Ka. that I'm waiting to hear from today, she lives in a mobile home and hope she wasn't affected.
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« Reply #505 on: April 15, 2012, 05:16:56 PM »

Bearly and Caddy - First I am so sorry that you are going through this - it is one of the toughest things to endure - almost worse than seeing your parent die - I have done both and I speak from experience.

I feel like you told our story with my mother in law. She became very paranoid and was doing very strange things before I finally convinced the family that she must be put in a safe environment. We were "lucky" in that her husband has been gone for a long time so she was really only endangering herself.

My MIL would claim (and still does) to be working on something when she was not even in charge of it. She did the books for our restuant years ago but we hired a bookkeeper about 15 years ago - but when I would go over there she would say that I needed to think about hiring someone because she did not have the time to do them. I still hear that same thing when we go to visit her.

The most frustrating thing was that most of the kids did not see the problem. My husband was an ostrich and chose not to see it, but his sister and brother would argue that she is just fine - she is just tired. I ended up taking care of her medications (which she was hiding everywhere in the house) and got a locking pill minder so she could only take one dose at a time and she could not mix them up. Before that she would often call me and let me know she was out of meds when I had just filled the weekly pill minder. Turns out she was either hiding them or resorting them and taking multiple doses a day of some and none of others. After the locking pill minder, she would call me and yell that I had not left any meds. The others in the family would actually believe her and call and yell at me also.

After research and talking to experts, I learned that paranoia and the need to "do something" even when there is nothing to do, is very common in early Alzheimer and related diseases. The emotional feeling that the patient get early in the disease is that they know they are forgetful but are terrified. So they lash out at the people around them. Even when you do things exactly as they wish, the feeling does not go away.  It is like that feeling we get when we know we have forgotten to do something but have no idea what it is - but it is magnified 1000 fold.

So, the long and short of it is that is YOU think something is wrong, you are probably correct. A visit with a gerontologist (they specifically deal with older people) will be super helpful. The one MIL saw helped the family understand that she was not safe.

Also, as painful and as sad as it is, you may need to get the doctor to conclude that your mother is not able to take care of herself. You may, for her own good, need to take control of her money.  Irrational spending with no idea what they have spent it on is another problem with early to mid disease.


Thank you so much!

The fact that they yell at the one they are closest to is so spot on.  Sometimes everything is fine and I think, well, I am the one who is wrong, but then I see something that tells me I am right. 

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« Reply #506 on: April 15, 2012, 05:22:20 PM »

Wow- I love being a monkey.

GE- thanks for extending your hand in friendship by way of offering your email addy.  I have my sister in this journey and we communicate via email almost everyday. We don't live in the same town, so we share our emotions that way.  It is so helpful.

Bearly- I think our Moms are related or we just might be long lost sisters?

TBM-I always enjoy your wisdom on this topic, since you have the Hans on experience.  Much of what you tell is what is happening to her.  My sis is POA and we have taken all finances away from her. She saw a gerontologist for about 8 years when she lived in the same city with my sis. (of course, she did not like him). I think part of the challenge we face with her is  her personality.  I have come to my own conclusion that we are dealing with age related dementia and mental illness and you can throw in some personality disorders as well.  She has been in two psychiatric hospitals in the last six months.

She was moved to my brother's city recently. In some ways that was a mistake.  She is in a nice facility however and my sis is getting. A break from the day to day issues - even though sis still talks to the facility almost daily - to keep up with her care.  I guess MY issue is that my two brothers are the closest to her in distance and they are saying that they just can't deal with going to visit because of her demeanor.

She "heard" my brother say he was coming to get her to come live with him, so she packed all her things up. When he didn't show the next day, she called him.  He had never told her that he was doin that.  She swears he did and he says he didn't.  (He didn't).  So now they are not talking to each other.  Who is more mature here?

Sister - you really are an angel.  Thank you for your encouragement - like you, I always try to do the "right thing" and some times I wish I would just say to hell with it - but it is it who I am and I keep on keeping on.

Thanks my monkey friends for letting me vent!

May all of you have a blessed day!

I thought so, Cadi, that is why I put it all out there.  Some of the things you said reminded me of my Mom.  I would be proud to call you Sister!  Not to be confused with my other Sister, Sister!

 

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« Reply #507 on: April 15, 2012, 06:27:42 PM »

Wow- I love being a monkey.

GE- thanks for extending your hand in friendship by way of offering your email addy.  I have my sister in this journey and we communicate via email almost everyday. We don't live in the same town, so we share our emotions that way.  It is so helpful.

Bearly- I think our Moms are related or we just might be long lost sisters?

TBM-I always enjoy your wisdom on this topic, since you have the Hans on experience.  Much of what you tell is what is happening to her.  My sis is POA and we have taken all finances away from her. She saw a gerontologist for about 8 years when she lived in the same city with my sis. (of course, she did not like him). I think part of the challenge we face with her is  her personality.  I have come to my own conclusion that we are dealing with age related dementia and mental illness and you can throw in some personality disorders as well.  She has been in two psychiatric hospitals in the last six months.

She was moved to my brother's city recently. In some ways that was a mistake.  She is in a nice facility however and my sis is getting. A break from the day to day issues - even though sis still talks to the facility almost daily - to keep up with her care.  I guess MY issue is that my two brothers are the closest to her in distance and they are saying that they just can't deal with going to visit because of her demeanor.

She "heard" my brother say he was coming to get her to come live with him, so she packed all her things up. When he didn't show the next day, she called him.  He had never told her that he was doin that.  She swears he did and he says he didn't.  (He didn't).  So now they are not talking to each other.  Who is more mature here?

Sister - you really are an angel.  Thank you for your encouragement - like you, I always try to do the "right thing" and some times I wish I would just say to hell with it - but it is it who I am and I keep on keeping on.

Thanks my monkey friends for letting me vent!

May all of you have a blessed day!

Vent all you want.  it helps me a lot to hear what you are going through, even though I am sad that you have to go through it.  I offered my contact number, also, so, if you ever need it, please contact Klaas for it, but let me know so I can check my Monkey email.

When my son was very young, and I also met many other children with disabilities, I had to tell myself certain things were not my son speaking or acting a certain way, or the other kids, it was the disability.  I was able to separate the two.  I am having trouble with my Mom and this because she always had issues, so it is confusing to everyone--what is Mom and what is the disease process, and is there one or is she just becoming more of 'herself' as she ages? 

She yelled at me yesterday in the middle of the dining room (she does not want me to embarrass her here by wearing anything but 'nice' clothes and having my hair 'just so.'  She wants everyone coming through to look perfect.  She is angry that my Dad sometimes drops food on himself, so she really does not want me to bring him up to eat with her.  When I visit my Dad, we eat in the cafeteria, which is a much more relaxed atmosphere.  He ordinarily eats in the medical dining room when I am not there.  So for her to do that in the dining room where she does not want to be embarrassed by anything, was a red flag to me. 

We had come back from the doctor and the store and she had to go to dinner.  She was downstairs in her wheelchair and had her walker, which she carries from her room to the front door, while on her electric wheelchair .  I reached across her and got her keys from the arm of her chair.  She lifted her arm for me to get them, so I could go up the steps and open the door and put the packages in her room and open up before she got there, so she could get to the bathroom quickly--she takes a high dose of lasix.  She was supposed to get on the elevator and come right up because she 'had to go to the bathroom before she went to dinner.'  Several minutes passed and no Mom.  Here, she went right to the dining room.  I went and got her walker that she left in the hallway.  I was confused, but then I thought maybe she went straight to the dining room (it was quite a shock to see an empty elevator and no Mom).  I went to the dining room to get an earful in front of others (this is the part that makes me think something is wrong, she has been doing this, make no mistake, she did it to me all my life--but not loudly in front of others in this facility (she is in an apartment), now she is doing it in front of others, in a place she does not want to be embarrassed by any of us in--she wants us to dress a certain way, etc.).

She wanted to know why I took her key.  I told her she lifted her arm to let me have the key.  She said she called after me as I went down the hall and up the steps (nothing wrong with my hearing).  I told her she was going to go to her room first to 'do something.'  (I didn't want to embarrass her.)  She looked at me like she didn't know what I meant.  I said you had to go to your room and do something before you went to dinner.  (This is not exactly what I said, but she got it, but I didn't say--you had to go to the bathroom first).  She got the most angry, hateful, mean look on her face, it shook me up.  Not that I had not seen it before, but I had only seen that look aimed at my brother.  I had never spoken up to her before, but I did so respectfully and did not give her 'bathroom' story away, just tried to jog her memory to get her to calm down. 

She really never had much of a reason to reprimand me as I grew up, I knew better, although she always found something to nitpick about to embarrass me in front of my friends.  She did not stop until I was in tears or I left the room.  Sorry this took so long to explain.  It's just not like her to be so overt in front of 'her friends.'  Nitpicking and yelling are two totally different things.  She yelled when no one was around, she said embarrassing things about me calmly out loud when people were visiting, in order to make me look small.  Needless to say, I did not have friends over often.

I suggested she 'talk to someone,' I told her it really helps me to have someone who is not a member of the family to talk to.  She snapped, 'My problems are REAL.'  Like taking care of 4 people with disabilities isn't real.  Good grief.  I know it is the disease, but it still hurts.  I try to help and say things in a very kind way, she lashes out at any suggestion.  I feel like the enemy sometimes, yet I am the one who helps her and is there for her many times a week.

One of the big problems with this is my Son is now starting to imitate her.  He wants to be 'the meanest one of the 'bear family'.  He asks, Am I meaner than Grandmom, after he has said something mean to me or acted in an inappropriate way.  He says being mean makes you stronger.  (He sees me back down to my Mom).  He apologizes after I tell him why what he is doing is inappropriate.  He always answers with, but I only do it to you, no to anyone else.  I have noticed a certain brother will treat me differently when my Mom is around and can say things that can be hurtful.  When she is not there and it is just us, or him, me, and my Dad, we have a great time and laugh like crazy.  My brother's wife had always said the only thing my brother and she fight about is my Mom.  Only one of my SIL (out of 4) will visit her and that is once every couple of years and she comes with someone (my brother or one of the Grandchildren).  She saw her Mom every week and now her Mother is gone.  I have a feeling she will be coming more than once every 3 or 4 years, now. 

What a mess.

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« Reply #508 on: April 15, 2012, 06:30:35 PM »

Bearly - please get ahold of JSM.  You and Cubby are welcome to come stay with us for your much needed and recommended vacation.   

Love you guys.  I would never let my Father down.  The Nurses say he does really well when I am with him.  It lifts my spirits to see him.

Thank you so much.

 

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« Reply #509 on: April 15, 2012, 06:31:59 PM »

JSM and I have our own version of the "Hunger Games".  2 nights ago she almost finished all the velvetta shells and ranch style bean caserole - she left me with one large tablespoon the following morning.  Well I got even for lunch today.  Ate the rest of her left over lasagna from her brother's Bday party at last night's dinner.  Now to proceed to finish the left over banana pudding stuff before she gets home from work.   

Oh my!  How does she stay so thin?

 

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« Reply #510 on: April 15, 2012, 06:33:33 PM »

I love being a monkey too.  Read all the posts (I think) and commend all of you for being care givers and kind to those in need.  

Our older dog Benji is at the vet right now having tests ...he has been throwing up and pooping blood since the weekend..this could be it for him..mentally I have already said goodbye..but maybe it is something that he can take meds to make him better..

I am so sorry, Cookie.  I will pray for all of you.

 an angelic monkey

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« Reply #511 on: April 15, 2012, 06:38:35 PM »

Bearly and Caddy - First I am so sorry that you are going through this - it is one of the toughest things to endure - almost worse than seeing your parent die - I have done both and I speak from experience.

I feel like you told our story with my mother in law. She became very paranoid and was doing very strange things before I finally convinced the family that she must be put in a safe environment. We were "lucky" in that her husband has been gone for a long time so she was really only endangering herself.

My MIL would claim (and still does) to be working on something when she was not even in charge of it. She did the books for our restuant years ago but we hired a bookkeeper about 15 years ago - but when I would go over there she would say that I needed to think about hiring someone because she did not have the time to do them. I still hear that same thing when we go to visit her.

The most frustrating thing was that most of the kids did not see the problem. My husband was an ostrich and chose not to see it, but his sister and brother would argue that she is just fine - she is just tired. I ended up taking care of her medications (which she was hiding everywhere in the house) and got a locking pill minder so she could only take one dose at a time and she could not mix them up. Before that she would often call me and let me know she was out of meds when I had just filled the weekly pill minder. Turns out she was either hiding them or resorting them and taking multiple doses a day of some and none of others. After the locking pill minder, she would call me and yell that I had not left any meds. The others in the family would actually believe her and call and yell at me also.

After research and talking to experts, I learned that paranoia and the need to "do something" even when there is nothing to do, is very common in early Alzheimer and related diseases. The emotional feeling that the patient get early in the disease is that they know they are forgetful but are terrified. So they lash out at the people around them. Even when you do things exactly as they wish, the feeling does not go away.  It is like that feeling we get when we know we have forgotten to do something but have no idea what it is - but it is magnified 1000 fold.

So, the long and short of it is that is YOU think something is wrong, you are probably correct. A visit with a gerontologist (they specifically deal with older people) will be super helpful. The one MIL saw helped the family understand that she was not safe.

Also, as painful and as sad as it is, you may need to get the doctor to conclude that your mother is not able to take care of herself. You may, for her own good, need to take control of her money.  Irrational spending with no idea what they have spent it on is another problem with early to mid disease.

Bless you all.  I've experienced Alzheimer's with my mother-in-law.  She lived next door to us for 12 years.  My husband and his siblings wouldn't admit there was a problem.  It progressed over about a 5 year period.  The last 2 yrs being especially bad.  I was told by her doc that patients tend to take their frustrations out on the main caregiver.  My m-i-l would accuse me of doing all sorts of things.  Her children would laugh about it.  I think it was their way of coping.  She was pitiful in the end.  But, I know that I tired to do the right thing and I was there when her own children were too busy to be bothered.  My husband left me to deal with things much of the time because he couldn't do it emotionally.  Now, he's dealing with the fallout.  It eats him up that he ignored her when he could've been spending time with her. 

Try to hang in there.  Take breaks as often as you can.  And this is something that all the kids needs to experience.  Nothing opens eyes like having to spend a week in mama's house sorting out her mess and dealing with her craziness. 

One thing that we were told by a couple of different docs was that the elderly tend to be dehydrated and Alzheimer's patients more than most.  If possible, keep them hydrated(water, juice, slushies, fruit, etc) and get them B12 shots.  That helped so much with my m-i-l.  She would have really good days for a couple of weeks after the shots.

Thanks, KM.  She is well hydrated.  I think I need the B12 shots!  Seriously, she takes all kinds of stuff, she is a nurse and loves her pills and operations.

 

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« Reply #512 on: April 15, 2012, 06:56:10 PM »

Bearly - I did not quote you for length but I wanted to let you know how bad I feel for you. I have family like that but I have cut most of them out of the circle of close friends and family. The sad part is that when it is a medical problem it is so much harder to set limits. I do not think that diseases change people - just bring out the problems they had before. I know my mil was always difficult and judgmental, but now without a filter to temper what she says it is terrible. But I have to remember that is not a personal thing. Either way, I keep you in my prayers and remember that sometimes you have to walk away.   an angelic monkey
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What a beauty!!!


« Reply #513 on: April 15, 2012, 07:34:16 PM »

To Bearly and all monkeys - a heartfelt  an angelic monkey and  from JSM and me.  She was sleeping comfortably on the couch until a second ago but had a hunfer craving.  Let the Hunger Games begin again.   
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« Reply #514 on: April 15, 2012, 07:53:46 PM »

I love being a monkey too.  Read all the posts (I think) and commend all of you for being care givers and kind to those in need.  

Our older dog Benji is at the vet right now having tests ...he has been throwing up and pooping blood since the weekend..this could be it for him..mentally I have already said goodbye..but maybe it is something that he can take meds to make him better..

I am so sorry, Cookie.  I will pray for all of you.

 an angelic monkey




He is fine..he was dehydrated but different meds made a world of difference..he is back to his old crabby self lol...thanks for your oncern though...
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« Reply #515 on: April 15, 2012, 07:54:14 PM »

To Bearly and all monkeys - a heartfelt  an angelic monkey and  from JSM and me.  She was sleeping comfortably on the couch until a second ago but had a hunfer craving.  Let the Hunger Games begin again.   

Lol..
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« Reply #516 on: April 15, 2012, 08:57:43 PM »

Benji came home..he was severely dehydrated but they gave him fluids and meds for his tummy...he is much better.. Not his time..

 

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« Reply #517 on: April 15, 2012, 08:59:25 PM »

Kitty Mom well said. It's so had when our parents or loved ones become ill. Dementia and Alzheimer's are such nasty diseases. I do understand how hard it is to see our parents like this. And how hard it is not to take what they say to heart when they say things that hurt. After all they are our parents. But what we have to remember they aren't really our parents any more. They aren't the same person that cared for us. Prayers for all that have had to care for their parents thru these diseases and prayers for the ones that are having it happen now.  an angelic monkey

 an angelic monkey an angelic monkey an angelic monkey
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There is no foot too small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world.
Time spent with monkeys is never wasted. 
I believe in miracles!
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« Reply #518 on: April 15, 2012, 09:00:22 PM »

Kitty Mom well said. It's so had when our parents or loved ones become ill. Dementia and Alzheimer's are such nasty diseases. I do understand how hard it is to see our parents like this. And how hard it is not to take what they say to heart when they say things that hurt. After all they are our parents. But what we have to remember they aren't really our parents any more. They aren't the same person that cared for us. Prayers for all that have had to care for their parents thru these diseases and prayers for the ones that are having it happen now.  an angelic monkey

 an angelic monkey an angelic monkey an angelic monkey


Must be true, GE, I only put one angel there and then there was three!

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There is no foot too small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world.
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I believe in miracles!
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« Reply #519 on: April 15, 2012, 09:02:16 PM »

Good morning Monkeys!  

Have had a lot on my plate lately but had to stop by to send my love to Bearly and Cadi before I begin my day.

TBM - I so appreciate the wisdom and clarity in your message to Cadi and Bearly.  I always learn from you.  Thank you.

Bearly.  No hon, it isn't funny, imo.  However I expect it is how your brothers cope. It must hurt you so.  

Cadi - Thank heaven for your sister that provides you so much support.

Sister - I like you too!
 an angelic monkey

JSM - Your dress is lovely and you will look magnificent in it.  Happy skating on Saturday!

cookie - glad Benji is back home.

kittymom - your hubs must appreciate you so much for being there for his Mom.

GE and BABS  Have fun on Saturday  

Monkeys, my brother is here and is looking well.   We will spend the day together with our Mom.  Hubs will prepare a steak dinner for us when we return. Bless him.

 

 

Oh shoot, I missed dinner!

 

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There is no foot too small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world.
Time spent with monkeys is never wasted. 
I believe in miracles!
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