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Author Topic: JSM's BEGGING FOR BANNING #31 3/25/12 - 5/20/13  (Read 1040887 times)
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theboyzmom
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« Reply #620 on: April 23, 2012, 09:47:20 AM »

theboyzmom- You are one courageous person! Thank you for sharing. More power to you! 

If only there was some way we could get people to see that alcoholism is like fishing. The bait is the alcohol company (Busch, Miller, Coors, Absolut, Jack Daniels,Guinness, etc.) ad campaigns featuring pretty young girls living it up with handsome, well-built guys, the celebrity endorsements, and the frat/sorority party scene on almost every college campus. The message being "You can be __________ (popular, pretty, macho, sexy, adult, relaxed, cool, "in", etc.) if you drink our beer/wine/vodka/whiskey.".  It all looks so fun and innocent.  After all, no one ever gets hurt in a single commercial or ad.  The bait is cast and the fish are hooked before they know what hit them.  They often spend the rest of their not-so-fun lives struggling to be free and sometimes it becomes a life or death struggle.

Truth In Advertising should require alcohol companies to graphically show drunk driving deaths, Emergency Rooms on Friday and Saturday nights, users vomiting, the abused children, the aftermath of date rapes/party rapes/frat party rapes, and liver damage on their commercials and their packaging...all the dirty little secrets behind the "glamour". If we're going to make cigarette companies put graphic warnings on their labels, shouldn't the same rules apply to alcohol companies?  Far more lives are lost, damaged, and permanently altered due to alcoholism than cigarettes.

Thanks for the kudos.

The problem is that most people use alcohol exactly like it is meant to be used and those that do not would never be swayed by the warnings. Every alcoholic I have met says "Yea, that is true but it will not happen to me". I know that many of the people I talk to that are alcoholics swear they are not hurting any one and nothing I say or anyone else says can convince them of it until the figure it out for them selves. So sad.
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« Reply #621 on: April 23, 2012, 10:12:57 AM »

Well said TBM
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CasuallyCool
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« Reply #622 on: April 23, 2012, 02:09:52 PM »

Prayers to all monkey in need.  an angelic monkey

A special SHOUT OUT to our own monkey sleuths, Green Eyes and Babs!!!   

They have helped me in tracking down some docs/info/people  so I can proceed with getting my first marriage annulled so I can remarry JSM in her Catholic Church.  It breaks my heart that she is not able to take sacrements - this is the least that I can do for my baby.
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theboyzmom
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« Reply #623 on: April 23, 2012, 05:09:22 PM »

Prayers to all monkey in need.  an angelic monkey

A special SHOUT OUT to our own monkey sleuths, Green Eyes and Babs!!!   

They have helped me in tracking down some docs/info/people  so I can proceed with getting my first marriage annulled so I can remarry JSM in her Catholic Church.  It breaks my heart that she is not able to take sacrements - this is the least that I can do for my baby.

I did the annulment thing - - it is a pain but worth it. Bless you for being willing to do it and to GE and Babs for helping@
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« Reply #624 on: April 23, 2012, 05:11:10 PM »

Prayers to all monkey in need.  an angelic monkey

A special SHOUT OUT to our own monkey sleuths, Green Eyes and Babs!!!   

They have helped me in tracking down some docs/info/people  so I can proceed with getting my first marriage annulled so I can remarry JSM in her Catholic Church.  It breaks my heart that she is not able to take sacrements - this is the least that I can do for my baby.
So glad we could help CC, we loves you both...........
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« Reply #625 on: April 23, 2012, 07:58:18 PM »

TBM - I'm beginning to feel that the annullment is a pain.  First, the easy parts of obtaining marriage and divorce certificates.  Then baptismal records, for me not a problem, but for her, I need to get her permission and I haven't even spoken to her in almost 30 years, and the church want's me to attempt to track her down and ask her, which I personally find a violation of her present life and family.  So I married a Catholic girl in her church, which I did not convert, why can't the Catholic Diocese secure her baptismal records?  Maybe I'm just confused and don't really understand the whole process completly yet.  And the witness part - could be a problem.  I just want to do right for JSM.   
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« Reply #626 on: April 23, 2012, 07:59:10 PM »

Cc...
 
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« Reply #627 on: April 23, 2012, 08:11:26 PM »

Cc...
 

Love you Trimm.  Hope all is well an I and many others have missed you/ I know JSM want's to telly you to but she's at a work partner's meeting tonight so I get to baby sit our babies and cook dinner.  Please don't be a stranger, you cougar.

 
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« Reply #628 on: April 23, 2012, 08:16:54 PM »

Well, seeing that JSM is working late tonight,  don't have to watch Mr. Belvediere.  Instead - Brazillian Bums of Stell.   
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« Reply #629 on: April 23, 2012, 08:44:09 PM »

TBM - I'm beginning to feel that the annulment is a pain.  First, the easy parts of obtaining marriage and divorce certificates.  Then baptismal records, for me not a problem, but for her, I need to get her permission and I haven't even spoken to her in almost 30 years, and the church want's me to attempt to track her down and ask her, which I personally find a violation of her present life and family.  So I married a Catholic girl in her church, which I did not convert, why can't the Catholic Diocese secure her baptismal records?  Maybe I'm just confused and don't really understand the whole process completly yet.  And the witness part - could be a problem.  I just want to do right for JSM.   

Maybe the ex got an annulment before she got remarried. Anyway to check that out.
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« Reply #630 on: April 23, 2012, 09:51:54 PM »

Cc...
 
Yes, it's worth the effort.  The sacrament issue is the one thing I will never be able to understand about the Catholic church.
Trimm, it is so good to see you and you're looking beautiful as always.
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« Reply #631 on: April 23, 2012, 09:59:39 PM »

TBM - I'm beginning to feel that the annulment is a pain.  First, the easy parts of obtaining marriage and divorce certificates.  Then baptismal records, for me not a problem, but for her, I need to get her permission and I haven't even spoken to her in almost 30 years, and the church want's me to attempt to track her down and ask her, which I personally find a violation of her present life and family.  So I married a Catholic girl in her church, which I did not convert, why can't the Catholic Diocese secure her baptismal records?  Maybe I'm just confused and don't really understand the whole process completly yet.  And the witness part - could be a problem.  I just want to do right for JSM.   

Maybe the ex got an annulment before she got remarried. Anyway to check that out.


The only way th ex could have got an annullment is if she lied, cause I was never contacted by her church
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« Reply #632 on: April 23, 2012, 11:03:40 PM »

Can't JSM still receive the sacraments since your marriage is not recognized by the church since you were not married in the catholic church? Can't remember all the stuff now since I am not a practicing catholic anymore. Anyways, good luck in your quest..
Do u know if your ex got remarried?
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« Reply #633 on: April 24, 2012, 12:13:13 AM »

TBM - I'm beginning to feel that the annullment is a pain.  First, the easy parts of obtaining marriage and divorce certificates.  Then baptismal records, for me not a problem, but for her, I need to get her permission and I haven't even spoken to her in almost 30 years, and the church want's me to attempt to track her down and ask her, which I personally find a violation of her present life and family.  So I married a Catholic girl in her church, which I did not convert, why can't the Catholic Diocese secure her baptismal records?  Maybe I'm just confused and don't really understand the whole process completly yet.  And the witness part - could be a problem.  I just want to do right for JSM.   

You know CC, she (your ex) might be in a similar position as you and might be happy you contacted her.  Maybe she would like an annulment for the same reasons as you?  Can you try tracking her down on Facebook?  Then just send her a private message on facebook.  Apologize for butting into her life but that you hope she will help you?

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« Reply #634 on: April 24, 2012, 12:29:47 AM »

TBM - I'm beginning to feel that the annullment is a pain.  First, the easy parts of obtaining marriage and divorce certificates.  Then baptismal records, for me not a problem, but for her, I need to get her permission and I haven't even spoken to her in almost 30 years, and the church want's me to attempt to track her down and ask her, which I personally find a violation of her present life and family.  So I married a Catholic girl in her church, which I did not convert, why can't the Catholic Diocese secure her baptismal records?  Maybe I'm just confused and don't really understand the whole process completly yet.  And the witness part - could be a problem.  I just want to do right for JSM.   
You know CC, she (your ex) might be in a similar position as you and might be happy you contacted her.  Maybe she would like an annulment for the same reasons as you?  Can you try tracking her down on Facebook?  Then just send her a private message on facebook.  Apologize for butting into her life but that you hope she will help you?



Klaas, we couldn't find her, nor any of her family on FB.  His best bet would be to write to her, it wouldn't be as invasive as a telephone call, I wouldn't think?
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« Reply #635 on: April 24, 2012, 03:16:17 PM »

Getting ready to take Connie and Mr. Jenkins home.  Bought a shredder and she has been busy. 
Blessings to everyone.
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« Reply #636 on: April 24, 2012, 05:18:55 PM »

TBM - I'm beginning to feel that the annullment is a pain.  First, the easy parts of obtaining marriage and divorce certificates.  Then baptismal records, for me not a problem, but for her, I need to get her permission and I haven't even spoken to her in almost 30 years, and the church want's me to attempt to track her down and ask her, which I personally find a violation of her present life and family.  So I married a Catholic girl in her church, which I did not convert, why can't the Catholic Diocese secure her baptismal records?  Maybe I'm just confused and don't really understand the whole process completly yet.  And the witness part - could be a problem.  I just want to do right for JSM.   
You know CC, she (your ex) might be in a similar position as you and might be happy you contacted her.  Maybe she would like an annulment for the same reasons as you?  Can you try tracking her down on Facebook?  Then just send her a private message on facebook.  Apologize for butting into her life but that you hope she will help you?



Klaas, we couldn't find her, nor any of her family on FB.  His best bet would be to write to her, it wouldn't be as invasive as a telephone call, I wouldn't think?


I agree, writing her would be the next best thing.
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« Reply #637 on: April 25, 2012, 03:37:50 AM »

Good morning Monkeys!

Trim - good to see you!   

Bearly - Glad you find some comfort here.   an angelic monkey






Thanks, Can, I hope others do, too.  Right now I am helping Bart's Mom try to find out what plane she is going on for the 20th time, she is leaving in 2 days.  Alcoholism is a very serious disease and I can see why it alienates people.  Do they all live in the past?  Do they all keep recounting over and over things that happened in their past?  Do they not have a present?



Hi bearly.  Hope your friend gets the help she needs. Apparently numerous rehabs are not uncommon.  I hope this one sticks.

Having a relative who has alienated herself from the family I would have to say she lives in the past.  When she calls, which is less and less over the years she cries and recalls the same old issues of her childhood.  It's as though she is frozen in time. 

My pleadings and offers of assistance have fallen on deaf ears.  She has had blackouts where she was rushed to the hospital, found in the nick of time by a boyfriend or a landlord.

It's sad.   Her father has reached the point where he fears the worst. 

It seems that her 'present' is her love affair with booze.      

She is going to the BVIs so she can sit on the beach, snorkel, and drink.  I hope she comes back with some perspective.  Her dog happens to have cancer, and is on steroids so he has multiple infections in his eyes, his mouth, is throwing up, is dehydrated and she is on the island.  It was now or never she believes for a trip.  I hope she does not get another older dog.  She has problems with her legs and has trouble walking and the dog needs to be taken out frequently.  I don't mean to be rude, but I have a lot on my plate right now.  I go over most nights and walk her dog. 

 

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« Reply #638 on: April 25, 2012, 03:57:34 AM »

Good morning Monkeys!

Trim - good to see you!   

Bearly - Glad you find some comfort here.   an angelic monkey






Thanks, Can, I hope others do, too.  Right now I am helping Bart's Mom try to find out what plane she is going on for the 20th time, she is leaving in 2 days.  Alcoholism is a very serious disease and I can see why it alienates people.  Do they all live in the past?  Do they all keep recounting over and over things that happened in their past?  Do they not have a present?



Hi bearly.  Hope your friend gets the help she needs. Apparently numerous rehabs are not uncommon.  I hope this one sticks.

Having a relative who has alienated herself from the family I would have to say she lives in the past.  When she calls, which is less and less over the years she cries and recalls the same old issues of her childhood.  It's as though she is frozen in time. 

My pleadings and offers of assistance have fallen on deaf ears.  She has had blackouts where she was rushed to the hospital, found in the nick of time by a boyfriend or a landlord.

It's sad.   Her father has reached the point where he fears the worst. 

It seems that her 'present' is her love affair with booze.      

Hey guys - I was quiet on this for a bit to think about it. As a disclosure -I am a recovered alcoholic - almost 7 years sober. It is a baffling and sad issue. The simple fact is that rehabs and such do not work on the real deal. That is because booze is only a symptom of our problem. What it really comes down to is a spiritual sickness. Most of us, at some point, want to quit but we can not. It is very much like having diarrhea and being told not to go. You really want to follow the instruction but you just can not. No reason in the world or any pleading from anyone you love can change the fact that you can not stop on your own. I know - I wanted to - I needed to - I had good support to quit - but I could not. I was baffled. Finally, I accepted defeat and went to AA - there I learned that with God's help I could stop and stay stopped. It work, if the person is willing to do anything to recover. My personal belief is that rehabs want to help, but they want to make money too. And since they can not mention the "God" word at the risk of offending someone, they are at a disadvantage.

So I will now crawl off the soap box. Please know that I am praying for all the people affected by alcoholism - both the alcoholic and the circle of destruction around them.

Thank you so much, tbm.  Would it help for me to go?  I am not going to abandon her.  She has a boarder that is a reformed alcoholic.  He is totally off alcohol.  He is in a great deal of pain because of a really bad accident--head split open, foot split apart, etc.  He is now on oxycodone and does not take them as prescribed.  He takes a bunch of them (he is supposed to take 1 at a time) then he runs out and goes through withdrawal.  He can be a real jerk when he is abusing his meds.

I have a question/dilemma that has been on my mind for a while.  I know a woman, who is using her mother's disabled placard.  She jumps in the first place she sees and even if it is the only space there, she uses it.  She sees no problem with this as by the end of the day, she says she is uncomfortable herself.  She refuses to take meds for pain.  (That was not criticism, just the facts).  Her mother passed away.  Her placard does not expire until the end of the year 2013.  I have tried to talk to her about it, but she does not listen.  She is a person I have to deal with because she is a therapist for my son, a good one, and has been for years. 

One reason it annoys me is selfishness on my part.  I have disabled plates, they are for me.  I am in chronic pain and need to park close to where we go.  She is there first and has already taken the spot.  She can walk fine.  I never take the last spot, I always feel there is someone worse off than me, I also do not take the closest spot for the same reason.  It irks me when she does this, especially in the rain and cold and dampness when my pain is at it's greatest and I have terrible trouble.  She is never going to change.  What would you do?  I don't want this resentment to eat up at me, I figure it is between her and God, but when I am in really bad shape and nothing will calm the pain, I do feel resentful.  Really, I am just blowing off steam, but am wondering what you would do.  I am trying to just let it go.  I like to keep my strength for my parents and my son, and those who really need it, not having to walk far due to parking issues, which should be avoided.

 

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« Reply #639 on: April 25, 2012, 04:54:21 AM »

Good morning Monkeys!

Trim - good to see you!  

Bearly - Glad you find some comfort here.   an angelic monkey






Thanks, Can, I hope others do, too.  Right now I am helping Bart's Mom try to find out what plane she is going on for the 20th time, she is leaving in 2 days.  Alcoholism is a very serious disease and I can see why it alienates people.  Do they all live in the past?  Do they all keep recounting over and over things that happened in their past?  Do they not have a present?



Hi bearly.  Hope your friend gets the help she needs. Apparently numerous rehabs are not uncommon.  I hope this one sticks.

Having a relative who has alienated herself from the family I would have to say she lives in the past.  When she calls, which is less and less over the years she cries and recalls the same old issues of her childhood.  It's as though she is frozen in time.  

My pleadings and offers of assistance have fallen on deaf ears.  She has had blackouts where she was rushed to the hospital, found in the nick of time by a boyfriend or a landlord.

It's sad.   Her father has reached the point where he fears the worst.  

It seems that her 'present' is her love affair with booze.    

Hey guys - I was quiet on this for a bit to think about it. As a disclosure -I am a recovered alcoholic - almost 7 years sober. It is a baffling and sad issue. The simple fact is that rehabs and such do not work on the real deal. That is because booze is only a symptom of our problem. What it really comes down to is a spiritual sickness. Most of us, at some point, want to quit but we can not. It is very much like having diarrhea and being told not to go. You really want to follow the instruction but you just can not. No reason in the world or any pleading from anyone you love can change the fact that you can not stop on your own. I know - I wanted to - I needed to - I had good support to quit - but I could not. I was baffled. Finally, I accepted defeat and went to AA - there I learned that with God's help I could stop and stay stopped. It work, if the person is willing to do anything to recover. My personal belief is that rehabs want to help, but they want to make money too. And since they can not mention the "God" word at the risk of offending someone, they are at a disadvantage.

So I will now crawl off the soap box. Please know that I am praying for all the people affected by alcoholism - both the alcoholic and the circle of destruction around them.

By the way, TBM, you have mentioned that in the past.  I admire you for that, I have meant to tell you before.  You are a hero to me.  That is a very hard fight.  I lost a fiance to that disease, he was perfect in every other way.  We also lost my son's father to the same disease.  My neighbor is perfectly happy the way she is.  She works with a child during the day and does not drink.  She comes home and makes meals for her tenants and others.  She drinks during this time.  She is pretty wasted by 10 PM and goes to bed about 230 or 300.  She is pretty sloppy during the end.  She has to be at work very late in the morning and never has a hangover.  She is basically a pleasant person.  She has many good qualities, but had a hard childhood, her mother, who did not raise her (her Grandparents did) will not tell her who her father is.  She has lost lots of friends who died due to drugs.  She is Bart's Mom.  She lives for Bart (or a current rescued basset), food, and alcohol.  She lives for drinking and eating lots of good food, she says this is the only things she enjoys in life (except Bart, of course) and would rather be dead than without them.  When Roscoe died, she was really drinking heavily.  She is also one of the most compassionate people I know.  She will help anyone.

The people who I know and who drink all seem to have self-esteem problems.  It usually has to do with parenting/the way they grew up/were raised and the way they were treated when they grew up.  I think it was Phil Donahue, who said, you are 40, 50, 60, don't you think it is time to stop blaming your parents and take responsibility for (in this case) being fat?  I don't hear the people I know blame their parents, I often hear stories about the way they grew up and then start noticing a common denominator.  I find this to be true with a lot of people who have depression/anxiety, also.  Why do people with low self-esteem have to jump on the backs of young children or those who cannot defend themselves, to make themselves seem bigger?  

Some people walk away from abusers, others can't, they think things will change some day.  When things do not change, and they run out of hope, they feel they cannot move forward.  Why do people hurt their children or others who are dependent on them?  They cannot defend themselves.  Like these young kids who wet the beds and then get murdered for it.  Why don't they put diapers on these little ones if the parent cannot handle it and they know they can't?  The kids are asleep, they don't know what they are doing.  They don't make the parents/caretakers angry because they enjoy being abused.  Where is common sense in all of this?

 

left out a word bh

« Last Edit: April 25, 2012, 05:02:17 AM by Bearlyhere » Logged

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