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Author Topic: JSM's BEGGING FOR BANNING #31 3/25/12 - 5/20/13  (Read 1064904 times)
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joesamas mama
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Patton is my babe. RIP my Josef I love you both!


« Reply #740 on: May 01, 2012, 07:14:48 PM »

Finally could log in!!! Forgot my password and it came to me.

ALL of YOU are ALWAYS in my prayers, I will catch up tomorrow during lunch. I miss you all. Gonna read back and post tomorrow.

CC has been using my puter every night, doing his best for the annulment. I appreciate all your help and prayers.

PS..... what was the name of Cindy Anthony's "Private Eye"? The creepy skinny guy????? For the life of me I can't remember his name.

I LOVE each and every one of you and have missed you all.

  Reading back and will see yall in the morning. 

Dominic Casey




  Klaas knew you would post something. 

I try really hard not to bring them into our private space.  I don't even like to see the punching bags here as it reminds me of such a bad time for such an innocent child, and such a devastating period for anyone hearing all the testimony, and watching all of the tricks played to thwart justice for an innocent child.  The whole episode feels sinister and I can't stand to look at any of them. 

I am hoping God grants me the grace needed to put it all in perspective, and know God is in charge and knows the plan.  I also know God knows I am human and not perfect.  I honestly felt sick to my stomach looking at that man's picture.  (My stomach has been feeling off for a couple of days, so I cannot attribute it all to this).  I really want to let this go so I can use the energy expended for those feelings and memories, more efficiently.  I try to believe that Caylee herself allowed her mother to have another chance, believing she will never hurt another child, ever.

 
Bearly, I feel the same way. I pray that Caylee forgives KC, but I for one never will. I'm sorry your tummy is doing badly, I pray you are feeling better. Unfortunately, I cannot forgive any of them! 

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joesamas mama
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« Reply #741 on: May 01, 2012, 07:16:20 PM »


I am so excited.  I just bought a portable lift that will lift my Dad from his wheelchair to my car.  I can't believe it.  Now  can take him out.  Life is good.

 



That is such good news!

Very happy for you both, Bearly.

 

Thanks, Klaas, TBM, and Brandi.  I am so excited.  He is so happy about this.  I can't wait to take him out!  His cousin's birthday party is next weekend, I should get the lift this weekend!

 


  So glad he gets the lift soon. Makes me happy for all of you Bearly!!!
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joesamas mama
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Patton is my babe. RIP my Josef I love you both!


« Reply #742 on: May 01, 2012, 07:18:47 PM »

Good afternoon everyone.
 
CC and JSM, praying our gracious God opens the doors and windows necessary for you to proceed.  Hopefully, someone will respond to your letters.  Sending lots of light on those letters.
Bearly, so excited about the lift for your Dad.  Good going.  You are opening up a new world for him again!  Bless you.
Brandi, love the video.  Thanks for sharing it!
 
Sister, thank you for your thoughts and prayers. You are always in mine as are Connie. You are a very special person and I am so happy to know you. Wish I was rich so that CC and I could go on a SM road trip.  an angelic monkey
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« Reply #743 on: May 01, 2012, 07:19:09 PM »

Bearly, in answer to your question about the anullment process - They asked me for my parent's and her parent's address, as there will be some type of questionnaire sent to them.  Her folks are both deceased.  They also ask me four four witnesses , which I do not really have.  A good witness for me would be someone who know my ex and me before and during our marriage.  The only ones I have are my sister and her husband, my BIL.  My best man never met the ex until the day before the wedding and we never hung out together after the wedding.  The same with my brother and his wife and my uncles and aunts cause my former spouse and I moved to CO not to long after the marriage. 

So therein lies the dillema - Instead of just using my 2 witneeses that I know will respond, I'm contacting 2 of her witnesses to see if they will swear to be truthful in their responses if they decide to participate in the process.  One was her maid of honor who could provide some damaging info about the ex if she is truthful and the other is her cousin, who could do the same.

What else to do???
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« Reply #744 on: May 01, 2012, 07:21:31 PM »

Good afternoon everyone.
 
CC and JSM, praying our gracious God opens the doors and windows necessary for you to proceed.  Hopefully, someone will respond to your letters.  Sending lots of light on those letters.
Bearly, so excited about the lift for your Dad.  Good going.  You are opening up a new world for him again!  Bless you.
Brandi, love the video.  Thanks for sharing it!
 
Sister, thank you for your thoughts and prayers. You are always in mine as are Connie. You are a very special person and I am so happy to know you. Wish I was rich so that CC and I could go on a SM road trip.  an angelic monkey
How about we put it on our "bucket list" -- all come here to hear me preach or go to you and watch you skate.  I vote for the later!
 
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joesamas mama
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Patton is my babe. RIP my Josef I love you both!


« Reply #745 on: May 01, 2012, 07:23:52 PM »

Good afternoon everyone.
 
CC and JSM, praying our gracious God opens the doors and windows necessary for you to proceed.  Hopefully, someone will respond to your letters.  Sending lots of light on those letters.
Bearly, so excited about the lift for your Dad.  Good going.  You are opening up a new world for him again!  Bless you.
Brandi, love the video.  Thanks for sharing it!
 

Thank you so much for putting the right words out there once again.  He still has so much life in him.  He is being smothered by his current situation.  The only thing he looks forward to is visits from my son, my brother, and myself.  We have 3 other brothers, but they just can't get there as often.  My brother, the only one I told about the lift thinks I am nuts. 

Why do people give up on people?  Is that how you would want to live?  Who cares what anyone thinks, except my Dad.  He has a new spark and I am so excited.  This has blessed me more than I can say, already.  The people who know me, know how much this means. 

Thank you Monkeys, starting with our Fearless Leader and right on through, for putting up with all of the moans and groans.  I knew there was a way, I just didn't know what it was.  I find when I put it out there, someone knows the way or they give me encouragement to keep searching.  God bless the person who started You Tube.  That is where I found it.  You Tube also shows you how to use things.  I feel confident that I will know what to do when we get it--this weekend!!!  We are blessed to live in a time where we have so much available to us.

Please say a prayer for my son, he is sick, he had a problem with his throat for 3 days before telling me, as he was afraid he was not going to be able to go to the prom.  It is on the 18th.  He was moaning in his sleep because he was sick and it was torrential rain this morning, so I decided to keep him home.

We see my Dad on Tuesday nights.  He is worried he cannot see him tonight.  I said he could look in on him, but not kiss him.  He said, what about a 'blow kiss?"  Now he is off practicing. 

There is a family room that is set up very nicely.  We celebrate birthdays and things like that there, we also use it to watch TV or to hang out together.  It is very rarely used by other families, I often see staff in there sleeping with the light off.  Unfortunately, it is my Dad's aid who does this.  He is quite lazy.  He wants all of his residents in bed early so he can 'disappear.'  Once in a while I have to go to my Dad's room to get something when we are in the family room, I have found this same guy in my Dad's room watching TV with all the lights off.  They all put their patients to bed early so they can watch a big TV and sit or sleep.  This is not in the traffic pattern of the building, so no one says anything.

Tomorrow night my son and I were going to take my Dad to the cafeteria for dinner.  It is less formal and much brighter than the dining room.  My Mom prefers the dining room and does not like when we bring my Dad there because he sometimes drops a little on himself.  WAlsoe prefer the cafeteria anyway, it is a friendly atmosphere and not as restrictive.  There is also a self-serve salad bar with fruit salad, my Dad's favorite.  Tomorrow, I think it is better for my son to stay home, I don't want my Dad to be sick.

 an angelic monkey


Sweetie!!! Hugs. I pray your son gets well before prom. So sweet that he wanted to blow him a kiss. Makes my heart feel good because of his love of your dad. Nothing wrong with taking your dad where he and you feel comfortable. If your dad likes the cafeteria, then that is where you all belong. Also, maybe TBM will come here and tell you whether or not your dad will get sick from your son. Love ya Sweetie!!!
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« Reply #746 on: May 01, 2012, 07:24:23 PM »

Good afternoon everyone.
 
CC and JSM, praying our gracious God opens the doors and windows necessary for you to proceed.  Hopefully, someone will respond to your letters.  Sending lots of light on those letters.
Bearly, so excited about the lift for your Dad.  Good going.  You are opening up a new world for him again!  Bless you.
Brandi, love the video.  Thanks for sharing it!
 
Sister, thank you for your thoughts and prayers. You are always in mine as are Connie. You are a very special person and I am so happy to know you. Wish I was rich so that CC and I could go on a SM road trip.  an angelic monkey
How about we put it on our "bucket list" -- all come here to hear me preach or go to you and watch you skate.  I vote for the later!
 
  ::MonkeyAngel::DEAL!!! 
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« Reply #747 on: May 01, 2012, 07:28:55 PM »

Bearly, in answer to your question about the anullment process - They asked me for my parent's and her parent's address, as there will be some type of questionnaire sent to them.  Her folks are both deceased.  They also ask me four four witnesses , which I do not really have.  A good witness for me would be someone who know my ex and me before and during our marriage.  The only ones I have are my sister and her husband, my BIL.  My best man never met the ex until the day before the wedding and we never hung out together after the wedding.  The same with my brother and his wife and my uncles and aunts cause my former spouse and I moved to CO not to long after the marriage. 

So therein lies the dillema - Instead of just using my 2 witneeses that I know will respond, I'm contacting 2 of her witnesses to see if they will swear to be truthful in their responses if they decide to participate in the process.  One was her maid of honor who could provide some damaging info about the ex if she is truthful and the other is her cousin, who could do the same.

What else to do???
Not that you need "damaging information", you just need someone to corroborate your life with her. 
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« Reply #748 on: May 01, 2012, 07:29:28 PM »

Good afternoon everyone.
 
CC and JSM, praying our gracious God opens the doors and windows necessary for you to proceed.  Hopefully, someone will respond to your letters.  Sending lots of light on those letters.
Bearly, so excited about the lift for your Dad.  Good going.  You are opening up a new world for him again!  Bless you.
Brandi, love the video.  Thanks for sharing it!
 
Sister, thank you for your thoughts and prayers. You are always in mine as are Connie. You are a very special person and I am so happy to know you. Wish I was rich so that CC and I could go on a SM road trip.  an angelic monkey
How about we put it on our "bucket list" -- all come here to hear me preach or go to you and watch you skate.  I vote for the later!
 
Oh yeah . . . on the way make a stop at 4Donks and meet the donkeys!
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joesamas mama
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Patton is my babe. RIP my Josef I love you both!


« Reply #749 on: May 01, 2012, 07:31:47 PM »

Silly Patton is crying like a baby to go outside. It is so pitiful. 

Be back later Monkeys, CC is cooking dinner. Hugs, Love and Prayers for you all.    an angelic monkey
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« Reply #750 on: May 01, 2012, 08:01:48 PM »

Bearly, in answer to your question about the anullment process - They asked me for my parent's and her parent's address, as there will be some type of questionnaire sent to them.  Her folks are both deceased.  They also ask me four four witnesses , which I do not really have.  A good witness for me would be someone who know my ex and me before and during our marriage.  The only ones I have are my sister and her husband, my BIL.  My best man never met the ex until the day before the wedding and we never hung out together after the wedding.  The same with my brother and his wife and my uncles and aunts cause my former spouse and I moved to CO not to long after the marriage. 

So therein lies the dillema - Instead of just using my 2 witneeses that I know will respond, I'm contacting 2 of her witnesses to see if they will swear to be truthful in their responses if they decide to participate in the process.  One was her maid of honor who could provide some damaging info about the ex if she is truthful and the other is her cousin, who could do the same.

What else to do???
Not that you need "damaging information", you just need someone to corroborate your life with her. 

I did not have to have damaging info on the ex for mine - I simply needed people to show that our marriage was not a marriage if that makes sense. I used some family and a friend we knew during the marriage (later I found out it was a girl he had an affair with!) I never got to see the statements so I am not sure if they were truthful or not - but I did not care as I just wanted the annulment. Actually my dad wanted me to get it - he was so worried I would die and go to he!! if I did not get it. It was kind of a last wish thing for him so I did it.
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« Reply #751 on: May 01, 2012, 08:04:28 PM »


I am so excited.  I just bought a portable lift that will lift my Dad from his wheelchair to my car.  I can't believe it.  Now  can take him out.  Life is good.

 



That is such good news!

Very happy for you both, Bearly.

 

Thanks, Klaas, TBM, and Brandi.  I am so excited.  He is so happy about this.  I can't wait to take him out!  His cousin's birthday party is next weekend, I should get the lift this weekend!

 


  So glad he gets the lift soon. Makes me happy for all of you Bearly!!!

 

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« Reply #752 on: May 02, 2012, 06:32:57 AM »


I am so excited.  I just bought a portable lift that will lift my Dad from his wheelchair to my car.  I can't believe it.  Now  can take him out.  Life is good.

 



That is such good news!

Very happy for you both, Bearly.

 

Thanks, Klaas, TBM, and Brandi.  I am so excited.  He is so happy about this.  I can't wait to take him out!  His cousin's birthday party is next weekend, I should get the lift this weekend!

 


  So glad he gets the lift soon. Makes me happy for all of you Bearly!!!

 



Talking to myself here.  No one is in this cage and I am too excited to sleep.  I hope this works out.  I hope no one gets in the way of what is best for him.

Talked to his nurse tonight.  At first she was surprised (I don't think anyone has ever tried to get their parent out of there before, I don't see many visitors).  Then I told her I watched the video over and over to see how to work it, I found out it appeared to be a reputable company--BBB and all.  I told her there were different sizes, etc, she asked me how we chose the size, how we chose between pneumatic and electric. etc. and started to realize with all of her questions, I had thought this out.   

The salesman I talked to was very knowledgeable and we had an intelligent conversation, not so with some of the companies I encountered.  I told him what I wanted to do and why.  The salesman and I became a team, and he told me to call him any time and gave me his number.  The salesman never tried to push the most expensive model on us.  Also, the model shown has an additional feature, where you strap the legs in, they are done individually, this is an extra and you have to pay for it.  The one that comes with it , both legs get strapped in together instead of individually.  He did not force that extra feature on us, either, just kept the option open.  He said it would cost the same if I bought it now or later.  He asked lots of questions to meet my Dad's individual needs.  He told me how much pressure, etc. I needed to exert, to match me up with the model as the one who would be the operator of the machine.  We were careful to get a model that would make me more of a passive participant, so I did not further injure myself. 

With each answer I gave, his nurse became more relaxed and hopeful.  (She has a very excitable personality and gets stressed quickly).  She asked me if my Mom knew.  I told her, no, not yet.  She said, I won't tell her then.  Then she started to get happy.  She asked me if I wanted her to tell her boss.  I told her no because I wanted to try it out first, before I got anyone's hopes up. 

I said, "My Dad needs to get out of here."  She said, "You are so right."  We went over the possibilities and we were both positively ecstatic.  I told her that I was spreading the message not to give him any fluids, when I took him to his cousin's party, she said he gets 600cc/shift and that was a lot.  (I know my Dad and his iced tea, I know it is not a lot for him).  When I have my Dad, he eats and drinks, and they are not used to seeing that.  I told her I wanted to be the gatekeeper for giving the fluids, just to make sure he does not go over his allotted amount.  I said I will take good care of him and make sure he is safe.  She said, "I know you will, honey.  You always do!  I am so happy you found a way to get him out.  Think of all the things you can do."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4m4zexoPHQ&feature=endscreen
We got the pneumatic model.

Hoyer Advance-H Patient Lift
Manual Patient Lift

1-800-850-0335
Jeff Russell  X727

www.spinlife.com
I only know what I have been told, I will let you know how everything goes once we get it.

There was a meeting this morning (Tuesday morning) for my Dad.  My Mom didn't tell me until too late for me to change a doctor's appointment I already had.  She called me this morning, early, and said they changed the time, could I go then?  She woke my son up and I really wanted him to sleep because he was sick, well, that was it, he got up.

There is nothing accomplished at these meetings, when you ask a question, no one knows the answer, etc.  I know about meetings like this because I have attended meetings for my son for a long time, people have gone with me and were blown away about how prepared I was.  It still didn't matter.  They have their agenda before the meeting even starts. 

My Mom seems to have alienated a lot of people and at this point, I am afraid if I appear with her too much, that would not be good for my Dad.  They are not a proactive bunch there and like things to remain the same, they do not seem to want to progress.  Nap time for my father's aid seems to be a priority for him (the aid, not my Dad).  They have already said they think my Mom is a liar, when I have asked them about certain things she brought to my attention. 

I have always gone to the meetings, but I don't see a point, right now.  I am more a one-on-one person, talking to the nurse, director, etc, one-on-one, not in a confrontational meeting.  I hope that is a good strategy and works well.  The other way did not.  They seem to know I want what is right for my Dad.  They see my son and I visiting all the time, they talk about me living there or getting me my own room because I am there so much.  My Mother does not visit as much as other spouses, although she can do many other things with other residents.  I know they see this.  I would like to be seen as an individual--at least by the people there who know me.  I hope I am doing the right thing.

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« Reply #753 on: May 02, 2012, 06:48:35 AM »

Bearly - I am so excited for both of you. You are a wonderful person to spend the time researching and finding this item. I worked in the medical field for a long time and never heard of this - nor has my mother in laws home. I plan to spread your good find with everyone - let me know how it works.

Too often people that are in care facilities are just left there like an abandoned item. Many forget they are people that we loved and love us. Your willingness to take him out is so wonderful. His quality of life has just gone up!  Keep up the good work!   
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« Reply #754 on: May 02, 2012, 07:03:21 AM »

Bearly - I am so excited for both of you. You are a wonderful person to spend the time researching and finding this item. I worked in the medical field for a long time and never heard of this - nor has my mother in laws home. I plan to spread your good find with everyone - let me know how it works.

Too often people that are in care facilities are just left there like an abandoned item. Many forget they are people that we loved and love us. Your willingness to take him out is so wonderful. His quality of life has just gone up!  Keep up the good work!   

Thanks, TBM.  I did it because it was something that we both needed.  As a Respiratory Therapist, I spent a lot of time with machines, so I am not intimidated by trying something new.  Also, as a Mom of a child with Special Needs, I have attended many Assistive Technology conferences and have always been interested in raising the quality of the lives of our children, so they can more fully participate in class with their peers.  I have taken equipment meant for one thing and used it for another purpose.  The biggest problem I have encountered is I have found so much resistance to using new equipment from staff members, and I hope this does not happen here.  Like I said, my brother thinks I am nuts, and he is the one who visits my Dad.  He is also the brother who encourages me to not stop helping those with different needs so they can have a better life.

Let's get this show on the road!!!


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« Reply #755 on: May 02, 2012, 08:06:19 AM »



TBM, one thing the nurse could not picture was the hydraulic pump.  Here is an example.  For my Dad's weight, I would have to exert about 4 pounds of pressure.  I am limited in my one are to 1 pound, but you only need one arm, so I could just use the other arm instead.  This one holds up to 400 pounds, and my Dad weighs less than 200 pounds.  I didn't want to take the chance of having the battery not charged when we needed to use the lift, so that's why I chose the hydraulic pump, I didn't want to get stuck somewhere because of a dead battery.  It all depends on your life experience and how comfortable you are.  With the hydraulic pump, it is also $600 cheaper.  It is cheaper still if you don't need it to be as portable as the one we chose.  The advanced one is easier to take apart and put in the car, which is what we need.  I can't afford to struggle with taking anything apart.  That has to do with my physical needs and our portability needs.  I want to be able to take him out of the car once we reach our destination, so it has to go in the car.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIU9LAKhozY&feature=channel&list=UL

The nurse also mentioned they could take him by van to his appointments.  From this facility, it costs a minimum of $200/ visit.  It would not take many visits to pay for the lift.  We did use it once, something cracked me in the head and I almost lost consciousness.  The other thing that happened, they could not push my Dad up the ramp, because of the width of his back wheels, so they pulled him up, which left him, hanging downward and near gave my Mom a heart attack, so it is actually unsafe.  Also, he cannot go for family visits in the van.  My Mom claims because of her restrictions, she cannot go on a wheelchair in the van (I keep trying to encourage her to be more independent and go on the trips to the grocery store, the mall, or recreational trips, but no go, she needs me to take her).  There are also lifts which you put in the car and are attached there, I again, wanted it more portable. 

Have Father--will travel!

 

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« Reply #756 on: May 02, 2012, 10:41:39 AM »

Bearly, I am so excited for you and your Dad.  This will give him a new lease on life!
I understand what you mean about using devices, etc. for something they were not designed for . . . I have done it also with George.  When the rehab had "done all they could", he could walk a little with a walker, had a feeding tube, couldn't speak, etc.  By te grace of God, we learned to do all those things.
Those group meetings have their own agenda, you're right.  I have lost my cool more than once when someone has the nerve to use the word "never" . . . I won't allow it.
Onward and upward girl . . . you know in your heart you are doing the right thing and that's all that matters.
 
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« Reply #757 on: May 02, 2012, 10:57:09 AM »

I just watched the video - that is so cool! He will love it and love getting out. My hubs is a big think outside the box guy. The first thing he thought when he saw the video is that he could use that thing to lift all sorts of things!  I am so proud of you for making the effort for your dad and your son.
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« Reply #758 on: May 02, 2012, 01:55:19 PM »

Bearly, I am so excited for you and your Dad.  This will give him a new lease on life!
I understand what you mean about using devices, etc. for something they were not designed for . . . I have done it also with George.  When the rehab had "done all they could", he could walk a little with a walker, had a feeding tube, couldn't speak, etc.  By te grace of God, we learned to do all those things.
Those group meetings have their own agenda, you're right.  I have lost my cool more than once when someone has the nerve to use the word "never" . . . I won't allow it.
Onward and upward girl . . . you know in your heart you are doing the right thing and that's all that matters.
 

When school personnel said they couldn't do it, we hired people to show us and them how to do it.  The problem is--they resisted, you see, they really didn't want to know how it was done, they just wanted to continue saying 'can't'.

They have a Psych at the meeting who merely says she is an expert on __________ whatever she decides she is an expert on that day, and therefore she knows what is going to happen and I don't.  I tell her well I am an expert on Mr. Barely's Dad and she isn't, so she does not know the difference between what is personality and what is disease process.  They are just so rude.  Well, any place that does not do anything to stop employees sleeping on the job, has got real problems, imo.

I am having dinner with my Dad tonight.  My Mom just called to tell me she has appointments on 2 days I specifically asked her not to make appointments on.  She said, if she doesn't go, the next one is months and months away.  She waits until the last minute and then cannot get an appointment at a time that is convenient for us, then we have to cancel what we are doing.

                     

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I believe in miracles!
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« Reply #759 on: May 02, 2012, 01:59:47 PM »

I just watched the video - that is so cool! He will love it and love getting out. My hubs is a big think outside the box guy. The first thing he thought when he saw the video is that he could use that thing to lift all sorts of things!  I am so proud of you for making the effort for your dad and your son.

Thanks, TBM.  They have different ones that lift even greater weight if he needs that.  I thought the price of the basic one was reasonable, too.

 an angelic monkey

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There is no foot too small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world.
Time spent with monkeys is never wasted. 
I believe in miracles!
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