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Author Topic: JSM's BEGGING FOR BANNING #31 3/25/12 - 5/20/13  (Read 1178449 times)
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Sister
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« Reply #780 on: May 04, 2012, 01:56:03 PM »

Well, do I have a story to tell and I can say, in my entire ministry this has never happened before.  I trust I stood up for myself and in the process stood up for God as well.
Several months ago, a woman who I know casually asked if I would perform a wedding for her daughter.  I really hesitated because I have gotten to the point if I don't know the couple or their family I wasn't going to do weddings.  It is just an enormous amount of work (I write vows individually for every wedding I have done) and my time is a precious commodity.  Anyway, because I knew the mother somewhat (she is a waitress in a restaurant I frequent), I said yes.
I require at least 2 if not 3 counseling sessions before the wedding.  I spoke to the husband to be on the phone and set up the appointments and the first one he cancelled because of car trouble and the second one I cancelled because George was in the hospital.  We then set up an appointment for the Tuesday following Easter Sunday and the next Tuesday as well.  They didn't show up nor did they call.  I wrote it off as bad manners for not calling and that they had found someone else.
They did find a friend who could perform the wedding, I learned from a telephone call on Tuesday of this week, however, he had to back out because of a family situation and could I please, please do the wedding this Saturday (as in tomorrow).
I had already made plans to set up a table at our church's bazaar tomorrow and this week Connie came and went through her costume jewelry and I have more than enough for a table and to make a little money for her.
I agreed to do the wedding and we were to meet for the first time yesterday at 3:30 at his place of employment and would follow up with the rest of the counseling after the wedding.  So I cut my time with Connie short in order to take her home and get to the appointment on time and they are not there.  He is still at home waiting for her to arrive but could be there in 30 minutes.  I know there is no way he could do that even if she walked in the door as we were talking.  So instead, we agreed to meet an hour later at the venue where we would have time before the rehearsal to at least say hello.  I arrive at the appointed place and time, no one is there from the wedding party.  I wait a half an hour, give him a call, and he is down the road at a restaurant/bar waiting for a friend to show them the way.  Duh, he gave me directions and I found it.  I said, look, here is my suggestion to you, go to a justice of the peace on Friday (today), let them marry you and have whatever you want on Saturday.  I am out of here.  He couldn't understand why I couldn't wait ten more minutes.  I told him he had totally disrespected me with my time and efforts over and over again and I wasn't going to continue with it anymore.
I have never done such a thing, and there is a part of my that feels guilty, but at the same time there is a standard which I have had throughout my ministry which I was willing to bend, but not be disrespected in the process.  My friend Dennis thinks I was correct to stand up for myself, yet I really hated to leave them in a lurch.
Thanks for letting me sound off!
Blessings.
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Brandi
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« Reply #781 on: May 04, 2012, 03:50:16 PM »

Sister, for what it's worth, I think you did the right thing. On many levels.

I feel if the couple did not take your meetings concerning their wedding/marriage seriously enough to attend, how seriously will they take their marriage?

They seem to have been disrespectful to you over and over again.

And I am sorry you had to go through so much and still be taken advantage of.

Yeah, you did the right thing.  For sure.

 an angelic monkey
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CasuallyCool
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« Reply #782 on: May 04, 2012, 05:13:32 PM »

Prayers for all monkeys in need.   an angelic monkey

Sister - you ahave the patience of a saint.  You did fine - no guilt trip!!!

Brandi - hope son is doing well

4Donks - slow down you move to fast

Bearly - here's to being mobile   

Just got back from an interview with the Dept. of Defense.  I thought this was my best interview yet.  A few openings, great rapport with the two intervieweres - fingers are crossed - should know in a couple of weeks.  Note see self:  must change fingerprints so I can pass high security clearance.   
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4 Donks
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« Reply #783 on: May 04, 2012, 06:00:28 PM »

Sister


 When Paul and I were arranging for a church wedding to please our families (we eloped) The rules of the church required premarital counseling even though we were already married in a civil ceremony. Our feeling was that if we wanted the blessing of the church, you follow the rules. Actually the priest ( Father Purdom) was wonderful and we thoroughly appreciated the sessions.
 My sister was married by Paul's cousin in my living room because she was her hubs 4th wife and the church felt he didn't respect marriage vows and refused to marry them. They certainly understood this position.
 So if these people didn't follow the protocols...they find someone else that doesn't require them. You aren't required to change yours.
(Added George to my prayer list)
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Green Eyes
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« Reply #784 on: May 04, 2012, 07:58:49 PM »

Sister  I agree with what Brandi, CC and 4Donks said. You have no reason to feel guilty about any thing. They should be ashamed of themselves for all the disrespect they have shown you.
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klaasend
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« Reply #785 on: May 04, 2012, 11:25:48 PM »

Well, do I have a story to tell and I can say, in my entire ministry this has never happened before.  I trust I stood up for myself and in the process stood up for God as well.
Several months ago, a woman who I know casually asked if I would perform a wedding for her daughter.  I really hesitated because I have gotten to the point if I don't know the couple or their family I wasn't going to do weddings.  It is just an enormous amount of work (I write vows individually for every wedding I have done) and my time is a precious commodity.  Anyway, because I knew the mother somewhat (she is a waitress in a restaurant I frequent), I said yes.
I require at least 2 if not 3 counseling sessions before the wedding.  I spoke to the husband to be on the phone and set up the appointments and the first one he cancelled because of car trouble and the second one I cancelled because George was in the hospital.  We then set up an appointment for the Tuesday following Easter Sunday and the next Tuesday as well.  They didn't show up nor did they call.  I wrote it off as bad manners for not calling and that they had found someone else.
They did find a friend who could perform the wedding, I learned from a telephone call on Tuesday of this week, however, he had to back out because of a family situation and could I please, please do the wedding this Saturday (as in tomorrow).
I had already made plans to set up a table at our church's bazaar tomorrow and this week Connie came and went through her costume jewelry and I have more than enough for a table and to make a little money for her.
I agreed to do the wedding and we were to meet for the first time yesterday at 3:30 at his place of employment and would follow up with the rest of the counseling after the wedding.  So I cut my time with Connie short in order to take her home and get to the appointment on time and they are not there.  He is still at home waiting for her to arrive but could be there in 30 minutes.  I know there is no way he could do that even if she walked in the door as we were talking.  So instead, we agreed to meet an hour later at the venue where we would have time before the rehearsal to at least say hello.  I arrive at the appointed place and time, no one is there from the wedding party.  I wait a half an hour, give him a call, and he is down the road at a restaurant/bar waiting for a friend to show them the way.  Duh, he gave me directions and I found it.  I said, look, here is my suggestion to you, go to a justice of the peace on Friday (today), let them marry you and have whatever you want on Saturday.  I am out of here.  He couldn't understand why I couldn't wait ten more minutes.  I told him he had totally disrespected me with my time and efforts over and over again and I wasn't going to continue with it anymore.
I have never done such a thing, and there is a part of my that feels guilty, but at the same time there is a standard which I have had throughout my ministry which I was willing to bend, but not be disrespected in the process.  My friend Dennis thinks I was correct to stand up for myself, yet I really hated to leave them in a lurch.
Thanks for letting me sound off!
Blessings.

Sister - I'm not a very religious person but I'm pretty sure you're getting a standing ovation in Heaven right about now.  You went way above and beyond.
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klaasend
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« Reply #786 on: May 04, 2012, 11:26:30 PM »

CC - good luck on the job 
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CasuallyCool
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« Reply #787 on: May 05, 2012, 09:17:06 AM »

CC - good luck on the job 

Thanks, Klaas.  Off to take wife skating and then kick her butt in golf.

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Bearlyhere
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« Reply #788 on: May 05, 2012, 01:11:44 PM »

Well, do I have a story to tell and I can say, in my entire ministry this has never happened before.  I trust I stood up for myself and in the process stood up for God as well.
Several months ago, a woman who I know casually asked if I would perform a wedding for her daughter.  I really hesitated because I have gotten to the point if I don't know the couple or their family I wasn't going to do weddings.  It is just an enormous amount of work (I write vows individually for every wedding I have done) and my time is a precious commodity.  Anyway, because I knew the mother somewhat (she is a waitress in a restaurant I frequent), I said yes.
I require at least 2 if not 3 counseling sessions before the wedding.  I spoke to the husband to be on the phone and set up the appointments and the first one he cancelled because of car trouble and the second one I cancelled because George was in the hospital.  We then set up an appointment for the Tuesday following Easter Sunday and the next Tuesday as well.  They didn't show up nor did they call.  I wrote it off as bad manners for not calling and that they had found someone else.
They did find a friend who could perform the wedding, I learned from a telephone call on Tuesday of this week, however, he had to back out because of a family situation and could I please, please do the wedding this Saturday (as in tomorrow).
I had already made plans to set up a table at our church's bazaar tomorrow and this week Connie came and went through her costume jewelry and I have more than enough for a table and to make a little money for her.
I agreed to do the wedding and we were to meet for the first time yesterday at 3:30 at his place of employment and would follow up with the rest of the counseling after the wedding.  So I cut my time with Connie short in order to take her home and get to the appointment on time and they are not there.  He is still at home waiting for her to arrive but could be there in 30 minutes.  I know there is no way he could do that even if she walked in the door as we were talking.  So instead, we agreed to meet an hour later at the venue where we would have time before the rehearsal to at least say hello.  I arrive at the appointed place and time, no one is there from the wedding party.  I wait a half an hour, give him a call, and he is down the road at a restaurant/bar waiting for a friend to show them the way.  Duh, he gave me directions and I found it.  I said, look, here is my suggestion to you, go to a justice of the peace on Friday (today), let them marry you and have whatever you want on Saturday.  I am out of here.  He couldn't understand why I couldn't wait ten more minutes.  I told him he had totally disrespected me with my time and efforts over and over again and I wasn't going to continue with it anymore.
I have never done such a thing, and there is a part of my that feels guilty, but at the same time there is a standard which I have had throughout my ministry which I was willing to bend, but not be disrespected in the process.  My friend Dennis thinks I was correct to stand up for myself, yet I really hated to leave them in a lurch.
Thanks for letting me sound off!
Blessings.

I am glad you called it off.  They were disrespecting you, their wedding vows and God in the process.  I don't want to say any more right now, what they were doing to you makes me angry.  How could they think so much of themselves and so little of you and the ceremony during which they were going to commit themselves to each other?

 

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Bearlyhere
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« Reply #789 on: May 05, 2012, 01:14:06 PM »

Prayers for all monkeys in need.   an angelic monkey

Sister - you ahave the patience of a saint.  You did fine - no guilt trip!!!

Brandi - hope son is doing well

4Donks - slow down you move to fast

Bearly - here's to being mobile   

Just got back from an interview with the Dept. of Defense.  I thought this was my best interview yet.  A few openings, great rapport with the two intervieweres - fingers are crossed - should know in a couple of weeks.  Note see self:  must change fingerprints so I can pass high security clearance.   

Sounds wonderful, CC.  I will keep praying.

 

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There is no foot too small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world.
Time spent with monkeys is never wasted. 
I believe in miracles!
Sister
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« Reply #790 on: May 05, 2012, 07:43:21 PM »

Sister, for what it's worth, I think you did the right thing. On many levels.

I feel if the couple did not take your meetings concerning their wedding/marriage seriously enough to attend, how seriously will they take their marriage?

They seem to have been disrespectful to you over and over again.

And I am sorry you had to go through so much and still be taken advantage of.

Yeah, you did the right thing.  For sure.

 an angelic monkey
Thank you Brandi.  Your opinion matters to me.  I'm glad you too feel I did the right thing.
 
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Sister
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« Reply #791 on: May 05, 2012, 07:46:05 PM »

Prayers for all monkeys in need.   an angelic monkey

Sister - you ahave the patience of a saint.  You did fine - no guilt trip!!!

Brandi - hope son is doing well

4Donks - slow down you move to fast

Bearly - here's to being mobile   

Just got back from an interview with the Dept. of Defense.  I thought this was my best interview yet.  A few openings, great rapport with the two intervieweres - fingers are crossed - should know in a couple of weeks.  Note see self:  must change fingerprints so I can pass high security clearance.   
Oh CC, this job interview sounds exciting.  I will have to check with some of my inmates (I also do prison ministry) and see if they have any Polly's Pointers on the fingerprint thing.
Hope you and JSM had a good day and she knocked your fingerprints off in golf!
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement.
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Sister
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« Reply #792 on: May 05, 2012, 07:48:57 PM »

Sister


 When Paul and I were arranging for a church wedding to please our families (we eloped) The rules of the church required premarital counseling even though we were already married in a civil ceremony. Our feeling was that if we wanted the blessing of the church, you follow the rules. Actually the priest ( Father Purdom) was wonderful and we thoroughly appreciated the sessions.
 My sister was married by Paul's cousin in my living room because she was her hubs 4th wife and the church felt he didn't respect marriage vows and refused to marry them. They certainly understood this position.
 So if these people didn't follow the protocols...they find someone else that doesn't require them. You aren't required to change yours.
(Added George to my prayer list)
4 Donks, I appreciate you sharing your story.  It makes me feel confident I did the right thing.  Thank you too for adding George to your prayer list.  I know God is already at that doctor's appointment and will guide us in whatever is to come.  George has such a good attitude and that makes it so much easier.
 
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Sister
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« Reply #793 on: May 05, 2012, 07:51:26 PM »

Sister  I agree with what Brandi, CC and 4Donks said. You have no reason to feel guilty about any thing. They should be ashamed of themselves for all the disrespect they have shown you.
Green Eyes, it simply dumbfounded me they could be so disrespectful -- do parents not teach their children any kind of manners or values.  Makes me so humbled my parents loved me enough to be parents first and friends in later years.
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Sister
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« Reply #794 on: May 05, 2012, 07:54:14 PM »

Klaas, thank you for your input.  Being religious is not important, being spiritual is and I believe you are -- your kindness and compassion shine forth so often.
Bless you for your words to help bind up my wound.
an angelic monkey
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Sister
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« Reply #795 on: May 05, 2012, 07:58:25 PM »


I am glad you called it off.  They were disrespecting you, their wedding vows and God in the process.  I don't want to say any more right now, what they were doing to you makes me angry.  How could they think so much of themselves and so little of you and the ceremony during which they were going to commit themselves to each other?

 

Bearly, I know you felt my pain.  As I have reflected on it, what keeps coming to my mind is God is not to be mocked and they were making a mockery of Him and me, His humble servant.  I wish them the best but there is no way I can see this marriage lasting.  They will soon learn the universe does not revolve around them. 
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Sister
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« Reply #796 on: May 05, 2012, 08:00:53 PM »

 
Now, to change the subject, I sold $87 of Connie's costume jewelry today at our bazaar.  She will be thrilled.  I can hear her turning the pages of her catologes even as I type.  This money was earmarked for her "fun" money and not some darn old bill.
 
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joesamas mama
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Patton is my babe. RIP my Josef I love you both!


« Reply #797 on: May 05, 2012, 08:00:55 PM »

Hi Monkeys... puter hasn't been plugged in and about to go down. Prayers for all of you, I really miss you all,

  Please if you don't mind, pray for my sister (not reallly her but her dumbazz husband) he had the intervention, went back to the facility, then decided he wanted an icecream bar.  He decided to drive the truck another 60 miles. My sister isn't worried about it, ,but she is afraid the baby will find out.

Miss all off you dearly and am going to plug the puter in now.

Hugs, loves and kisses.

JSM and Patton (my new LAP DOG) 
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Sister
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« Reply #798 on: May 05, 2012, 08:04:12 PM »

Hi Monkeys... puter hasn't been plugged in and about to go down. Prayers for all of you, I really miss you all,

  Please if you don't mind, pray for my sister (not reallly her but her dumbazz husband) he had the intervention, went back to the facility, then decided he wanted an icecream bar.  He decided to drive the truck another 60 miles. My sister isn't worried about it, ,but she is afraid the baby will find out.

Miss all off you dearly and am going to plug the puter in now.

Hugs, loves and kisses.

JSM and Patton (my new LAP DOG) 
Oh hi JSM, did you beat you know who at golf today?
How was skating this morning?
A lap dog?? ha ha -- he's big enough for a couple of laps, that precious pooch.
Now Ruby, she looks like she could nestle real good in a lap, but Patton much have his paw falling off your lap.  ha ha
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Sister
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« Reply #799 on: May 05, 2012, 08:05:35 PM »

Cookie, where are you?  How is Molly Mocha making out now?
She is so beautiful but I bet she has grown a lot since the last pictures (hint! hint!).
 
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