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Author Topic: Throwing Stones  (Read 4959 times)
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kira
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« on: June 30, 2005, 03:16:11 PM »

I have been following this because I am a mother and my heart goes out to a mother who has lost a child.  I am the parent of two boys and two girls.  My children are 22, 20, 19, and 18.  My boys are the oldest.  I also work in the legal system as a victims crisis counselor.  Because I am a mother of both sons and daughters, I have to state that people are being extremely judgmental.  

But before I go any further, I must state that I pray for Natalee and her family.  No one deserves to be hurt or die and for a mother to not know where her child is would be pain that is unimaginable.  

When I first started following this all I could think of was what these horrible boys did to this wonderful, beautiful young woman and then the days started dragging into weeks and I delved further, reading these blogs because there seemed to be much more information.

My understanding of Natalee is: 1) From a family member, she was somewhat naive. 2) Honor student and for the most part a good, normal teenager.  3) She was having fun on her graduation trip, as she should.  4) She had been drinking, but her friends say she wasn’t drunk.  5) She hadn’t stayed in her room the few nights prior to her disappearance.  6) She introduced herself to Joran at this club.  7) She left with Joran and his friends.

My understanding of Joran is:   1) Dutch.  2) Influential family.  3) Honor student.  4) Was in a scuffle.  5) Father knowledgeable of the law.  6) Likes American girls.  7) Has lied about what happened that night.  6) Got advice from his father.  7) Is in jail.

Now here is where I probably make everyone mad, but . . .

First, as a parent, Natalee used extremely poor judgment.  She got into a car with three boys she barely knew.  Everyone here likes to hypothesize that she thought it was a taxi, but it doesn’t change the fact that she left with someone she barely knew.  Next, I have heard a dozen times, “She didn’t really have that much to drink.”  Well, how much is too much?  If your friend is out partying and has too much too drink, then you probably did as well, which means hot water with your parents.  I am sure a lot of the kids on this trip have caught it from their parents.  It is now public knowledge they were drinking, gambling, and staying out all night. Do they really want to admit that their friend may have been drunk, the same friend who in all probability is dead?

Now for Joran.  Again, as a parent, he did what any teen boy would do if a girl wants to leave with him, he let her.  You speculate about a date rape drug, why would he do that, she went with him.  He got into a shoving match, well so have a lot of 17 year old boys, does it make all of them rapist murderers?  He says that she got into the car, they went to the beach, she didn’t feel well and he had to go home, so he left her there.  Well maybe he did.  Think about it, he is from a well to do family.  He meets a girl, she introduces herself, she leaves with him, she wants to go the beach, she is a little tipsy, she is beautiful.  They go and whatever happens, happens.  He has to get home because he snuck out to begin with, he also has exams the next day.  She is feeling a little nauseated and wants to stay, (most girls if they are sick, want to be left alone).  He is self indulgent and a little spoiled, does he stay and risk getting into big trouble for a girl he just met? No, he probably wouldn’t.  The next day he finds out that she is missing, well believe me when I say, any parent who knows anything about the law would tell their child, you are going to be a suspect, it is best to say nothing.  I am sure the longer this goes on, his father, knowing the law does realize that his son is the prime suspect, especially now that the boys have been caught in a lie.  Why did they lie, I don’t know, but I do know, again from being a parent of a teen, you guys will lie to keep your butts out of trouble.  So knowing his son is the prime suspect he probably is thinking, without a body, no crime.  Heck, I have even said that to my family since this has happened, because it is true.

Natalee did nothing wrong except use poor judgment.  She did not deserve for anything bad to happen to her.  But sometimes using bad judgment can get you into a lot of trouble.  I don’t know what happened to her.  I knew someone who got sick from drinking, passed out, vomited and strangled to death in their own bed.  Could this have happened and the tide washed her away?  Could she have been hot and nauseated and went in to the water to sober up?  These scenarios probably didn’t happen, but they are as feasible as all the others being played out here.  I also work with the police and prosecutors every day and most people, especially young people would have cracked by now.  They are in jail, they are being interrogated, they miss their family, they want to go home.  In most instances like this, they end up giving a false confession just to get the cops to leave them alone.  If they did something to this girl, they should be hung up, castrated and any and everything imaginable that can be done.  But for us to judge, when these people have done nothing most of us haven’t done is just unconscienable.
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