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Trip to Walmart by Age
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Topic: Trip to Walmart by Age (Read 2721 times)
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2NJSons_Mom
Monkey All Star
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Trip to Walmart by Age
«
on:
August 01, 2007, 02:30:55 PM »
You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house. Mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty. Covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit, shorts with the hole in crotch, old t-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.
Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help complete the job. Depending on your age you might do the following.
In your 20's:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. You went to school with the pretty girl running the register.
In your 30's:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.
In your 40's:
Stop what you are doing. Put a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart.. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing.. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.
In your 50's:
Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from your buddy's bait shop and it says, "I Got Worms".
In your 60's:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose off the dog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.
In your 70's:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they have your prescriptions ready too. Don't' even notice the dog crap on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.
In your 80's:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember that
you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and walk around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. The old lady that greeted you at the front door went to school with you.
Logged
R.I.P Dear 2NJ - say hi to Peaches for us!
I expect a miracle _Peaches ~ ~ May She Rest In Peace.
SOMEONE KNOWS THE TRUTH
None of us here just fell off the turnip truck. - Magnolia
Angiex911dsptchr
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Posts: 11005
Re: Trip to Walmart by Age
«
Reply #1 on:
August 01, 2007, 04:14:33 PM »
ROFL 2nJ
But as a chick in my early 40;s... I have thrown on a baseball cap.. Sprayed some perfume on.. threw on a jacket. even if it was 90 degress out and ran in and out hoping I didnt see anyone I knew.. LMAO BUT there is always that ONE danged person that just gotta recognize yah even when you try to be incognito.
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nonesuche
Monkey All Star Jr.
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Posts: 8878
Re: Trip to Walmart by Age
«
Reply #2 on:
August 04, 2007, 08:19:32 AM »
Angie me too when I used to live further south, if ever I looked bad and risked running to the grocery store inevitably I would see someone I knew
I can tell you the remedy too, move to a fast growth city as I did two states away, I never see anyone I know at the Wal-mart or the grocery store now
Logged
I continue to stand with the girl.
pdh3
Monkey Junky
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Posts: 3019
Re: Trip to Walmart by Age
«
Reply #3 on:
August 04, 2007, 03:32:44 PM »
I moved this summer, and during the process, I had to run to Wal-Mart for emergency supplies. I have never looked worse in my life, and since it was close to a hundred degrees outside, I'm sure I've never smelled worse either. I skulked around getting what I needed and tried to avoid looking directly at anyone in case they recognized me. I made it all the way out to the parking lot before I saw someone I knew.....dang it. I was so close!!
Logged
What's done in the dark will always come to light.
LouiseVargas
Monkey Junky
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Posts: 2524
Re: Trip to Walmart by Age
«
Reply #4 on:
August 04, 2007, 09:47:29 PM »
At almost 63, I am very willing to go to Home Depot, grocery store, etc., with no makeup and with straight flat unflattering hair (but at least my roots are always colored). To counteract the above, I make sure to wear a nice dress and shoes and put on lipstick. Sometimes I wear glasses to look geeky.
I have found if I put on makeup and fix my hair, I get better service.
I never wear sunglasses.
The way I see it is that I am not closely examining other people as to what they are wearing, how their hair looks and if they are pretty or not. And I don't think they are paying all that much attention to me and my looks either.
Logged
Hope is everything. I see angels everywhere.
pdh3
Monkey Junky
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Posts: 3019
Re: Trip to Walmart by Age
«
Reply #5 on:
August 04, 2007, 10:33:39 PM »
You know Louise, as usual....you have a good point.
Logged
What's done in the dark will always come to light.
2NJSons_Mom
Monkey All Star
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Posts: 11324
Re: Trip to Walmart by Age
«
Reply #6 on:
August 05, 2007, 11:27:54 AM »
When I posted this, I just thought it was cute and somewhat truthful for some. My parents always taught that there was a proper way to dress for church, funerals, going to the store, etc. With that, my sister and I acquired a case of vanity that we've discussed most recently (Dad was tastefully dressed, always & Mom was religiously not concerned as he). Sis and I tend not to go out in public without hair and makeup done. Since we both have a progressive eye condition, this discussion brought us to chuckle about the time when we will not be able to do these things so easily. Imagining our DH's helping is frightful...my DH's color blindness could deem me wearing an orange top with Burgundy pants, because to him, they are both 'red'. Sis & I rely on family members to drive us to wherever we need to go, so we no longer have the ability to jump in the car to get what we need regardless of our appearance.
Even though I'm conscious of my appearance, I have to say that anyone I meet always looks just fine, or even better than I. Guess it's a self-perseption thing.
Logged
R.I.P Dear 2NJ - say hi to Peaches for us!
I expect a miracle _Peaches ~ ~ May She Rest In Peace.
SOMEONE KNOWS THE TRUTH
None of us here just fell off the turnip truck. - Magnolia
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