School Votes for Birth Control

[LouiseVargas]

I have strong feelings on this subject and am glad to have found a forum to express my opinion.

BCPs prevent pregnancy.

I don't feel the schools should give out birth control pills, but I do understand their purpose is to reduce the number of teenage pregnancies and abortions. This is a noble goal.

Unwanted pregnancies have been going on for hundreds of years and women have turned to shady abortionists at the risk of their lives. My mother was raped and drugged years ago (prior to my birth in 1944) in NYC. Her uncle Nathan the MD gave her an abortion. My mother just got up off the abortion bed and carried on with her life.

I got pregnant in 1961 and my mother forbade an abortion. I was sent to a home for unwed mothers, gave birth alone at 16 years old, and was forced by my mother to give up the baby for adoption. My life has never been the same. I cried on and off for three years.

Today, parents don't think their sweet little kids know about sex or should know about sex. Believe me, they already know. Even if my mother had given me sex education, I already knew.

Read my words: the more you try to prevent kids from doing something, the more they want to do it. A puritan way of living is not what most of the kids want.

To break the cycle of my mother's unwanted pregnancy and my unwanted pregnancy, I took my 12 year old daughter who looked very mature for her age, to an OB/GYN before I sent her to stay with my exhusband for the summer in New York City. The MD said it was a very good idea to do this in my daughter's case.

I felt it was far better for her to have sex (not that she would ... but she could) and not get pregnant rather than have sex and get pregnant. No abortions needed.

BCPs prevent pregnancy.

[MsVada]

Louise

Thank you for sharing your experience and feelings on this subject.
My Mother was 15 when she got pregnant with me!!!  I am so glad her parents forbade an abortion too.

 I live less than 25 miles from this school in Maine that has passed the ruling to provide bc in school.  I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK, for many reasons.  I don't have a daughter.  I do have a very close friend who did have a daughter attend this middle school 3 years ago. She is now a Junior at Deering HS. 

What I can tell you as firsthand knowledge of this situation.  There is sex going on in the schools, in the woods near the school's athletic complex and no amount of discipline by the parents or the school is going to get them to stop.They brag about how many times they are doing it on myspace.com and facebook. 

 My friend has complained to me about cleanup after a football game and finding used condoms all over the place!  Its gross.   This is a school in the city, one of the few largest in our rural state.  Cost of living is outrageous here and the pay scales suck for the most part, forcing both parents to work to be able to afford housing.This creates too much free time for kids after school.  You can't force them to do after school activities, and it wouldn't stop them from having sex anyways.    Most housing is barely affordable in the Portland area, but that is another subject alltogether.  Insurance is another hot topic. 

If this clinic in the school has a physicians staff onsite, I think it should be available to those mature enough to ask for it.  Granted, they are 6-8th graders, and thats too young for sex, but its not stopping them from going at it. I also think 11-13 year olds are too young to get pregnant, it isn't good for their bodies, and I'm not sure what the morning after pill would do to such a young person.

  I think they need to rewrite their policy to get their parents consent to get them. but I think the condoms should definately be available no questions asked. 

This is a huge issue, I was not surprised it made national news,  I think this is why the school board hurried their decision to move forward with this. 

Sex is not as private as I was taught it to be.  My Mother drilled it into my head that it was special and to be shared with the one you love.  Nowadays, it seems that its okay to brag you've done it with 5 or 6 different guys before you're a Freshmen in HS.
Sex is way more open than when I was in school. 

[GreatOwl]

I also read the front page.  Please stop making a political issue out of every decision that is made in this country.  While I find this one to be offensive to me personally, I have been in the schools my entire life.  This has been a major issue as it deals with the health of our children.  I firmly agree and support the concept that this is the responsibliity of the parents.  However, statistics show that parents are in denial and refuse to accept the responsibility.  Now that does not mean all parents.  There are a significant number who just do not take on this responsibility.

Here are some of the stats that have come out regarding this school district.

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1673227,00.html?xid=rss-nation

As I said, as an educator I dreaded having to make decisions to insure the health and safety of the young people in our schools.  These decisions should be made by the parent.  They just are not.  As was pointed out, kids are going to participate in sexual activities whether we admit it our not.  The hormonal changes coupled with peer pressure causes many to make mistakes which could affect the rest of their lives. 

I have listened to this debate for decades.  It has nothing to do with politics.  It really has nothing to do with religion.  It is a matter of health and safety concerning our youth of today.  Let's treat it like that.

If anyone has a suggestion on how to keep those youth safe, I am sure that the schools would welcome the input.  My experience has shown that those parents in the greatest denial are the ones whose kids end up making a wrong decision because they do not have all the facts.  Even if a parent spends one afternoon talking with the children about this problem it is not enough.  There needs to be not only an "open door" policy on the subject in each home, but also scheduled times where the subject is openly discussed as a family and support is given to the children.  Keep them informed and let them know that this is not a "taboo" subject.

Children are going to make mistakes.  As adults we make mistakes.  The monumental error we make is not to provide a forum for how to make better choices in the future.  Those who simply cop out and say "this is a parents perogative" and then ignore the problem are contributing to the problem. 

Again, I do agree this is not something schools should have to be doing.  It is going to happen more and more often unless ALL parent get with the program and stop making excuses.

[MsVada]

Great Owl

Great post.
 I agree with you wholeheartedly, that if the parents aren't parenting the way they need to regarding sex,  then the schools are feeling they need to intervene and provide an alternative. Perhaps the only immediate alternative they have at the moment.  Providing birth control is far less expensive and less harmful than having young teen pregnancies that the states end up paying for in the long run.

MsVada

[LouiseVargas]

I would say that nature has a plan for us.

Girls get their periods from age 9 to 13. They are young, strong and able to run around after the baby / toddler. When my daughter had a baby at 35, she was not equipped to expend as much energy as a teenager could. She was a couch potato and had to get up off her butt from morning to night. It was a shock for her to realize how much care a baby needs.

Nature directs us to have babies early because we have the energy to take care of them with relative ease.

Menopause comes into the picture around age 50. Women are no longer baby making machines. This is the time when women enjoy grandchildren.

Down the line, the roles of parents and children change. Parents go into old age and children are tasked with the burden of caring for them.

I have to agree with you MsVada. "Providing birth control is far less expensive and less harmful than having young teen pregnancies that the states end up paying for in the long run."

In our society women are stigmatized by having babies when they are hardly grown up. But nature dictates that this is the exact right time to have a baby.

[GreatOwl]

Parents go into old age and children are tasked with the burden of caring for them.

Not to get too far off topic my dear Louise, but thise Owl is not into "old age."  I am just more mature than most!!!

 

[LouiseVargas]

Dear Great Owl,
 
You are a wise owl.
 
I am not into old age either but the years have crept up on me and I try to do everything to keep myself young, ESPECIALLY mentally. The key is keeping the mind OPEN and receptive to new ideas.
 
I refuse to be an old lady. 
 
I don't know how old any of us Monkeys are but I know for sure, all of us want to stay young in our minds and bodies.





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[Levi]

My initial knee-jerk reaction was that this would make children want to have sex and not think about the consequences. But, I think that if they want to have sex they are going to find away. So I have no problem with birth control.

My only problem is NOT that 11 year old girls can have access to birth control, my problem is that who is paying for this: The tax payers.

I don't think that it is the Governments responsibility to do this. I think that if an organization such as Planned Parenthood wants to fund this, fine, but I just don't see this is a responsibility for the tax payers.

And if an 11 year old girl is sexually active, I'd like to know where her parents are when she is having sex...

[GreatOwl]

My initial knee-jerk reaction was that this would make children want to have sex and not think about the consequences. But, I think that if they want to have sex they are going to find away. So I have no problem with birth control.

My only problem is NOT that 11 year old girls can have access to birth control, my problem is that who is paying for this: The tax payers.

I don't think that it is the Governments responsibility to do this. I think that if an organization such as Planned Parenthood wants to fund this, fine, but I just don't see this is a responsibility for the tax payers.

And if an 11 year old girl is sexually active, I'd like to know where her parents are when she is having sex...

I can see your point.  I do believe this is somewhat impossible.  Can groups like Planned Parenthood, Right To Life, Right to Abortion, contribute funds to a school system legally under our current system.  I think as soon as that happens the "Civil Liberties Union" would begin to file lawsuits.  I do believe that many groups could reach common ground on how to hypothetically protect the youth of today.  However, we are so embroiled in the separation of church and state as well as protecting the civil liberties of individuals that it would probably not be possible to fund any type of proposal.

[Levi]

I don't think the ACLU would sue those groups, I actually think the ACLU represents some of those groups... I could be wrong.

[LouiseVargas]

Levi,

I understand your concern about tax payers paying for birth control pills. How much money do you think it takes for tax payers to provide care for a pregnant woman and child care who are without resources?  If we want to be hard and cold, it is cheaper to pay for BPs than all aspects of a pregnancy. 

I know for sure where the parents are when an early teen becomes sexually active. They are at work and very tired when they get home.

[GreatOwl]

I don't think the ACLU would sue those groups, I actually think the ACLU represents some of those groups... I could be wrong.

you are absolutely correct!!!  they would never sue those groups.   They sue the school system for accepting the funds.

[GreatOwl]

Believe me when I say that no school district wishes to bring on a suit from the CLU or any group like it.  The way that works is the system is assumed guilty unless they can prove otherwise.  I have never been involved with a suit regarding birth control but have with other issues.  We were correct in our procedure but ended up with two, 4 drawer, filing cabinets worth of documents regarding hearings and investigation material.  It is not the space that matters, it is the time wasted with such frivolous matters.  The tax payers got stuck paying for thousands of work hours just because one parent wished to disagree with a school procedure and had the "ear" of the CLU.   

This goes on more often than you would ever believe.

[MsVada]

Pill Policy Debate Live On News 13
www.wgme.com


Three members of the Portland School Committee debated their controversial decision to give students at King Middle School access to birth control pills live on News 13.

Chairman John Coyne joined school committee member Ben Meiklejohn during our first segment. Both men voted against the plan, but since then Meiklejohn has changed his mind.


The chairman was joined by Lori Gramlich during the second half of our debate during Live at Five and News 13 at 6:00. Gramlich voted in favor of the plan.


Click the link to watch the debate in its entirety. Click here to watch video.

[SarahD]

My 16 year old daughter got pregnant because she wanted to escape.  She's 28 today and ask her if having a 12 year old was any kind of "escape".   She also got pregnant at 22 and has a 6 year old.    She has not been without the responsibility of children since she was 16 years old.   Ask her how old she feels at 28.   I know she loves her children, but I wonder how her life would have been different had she not gotten pregnant at 16.

I advised her to have an abortion.  She refused.  She understands that what she lost and what she gained in life was by her own hand and her own choice.  But I'm sure that doesn't make her trials and tribulations any easier to live with.

Kids are going to have sex.  If I could do it over again, I would have put birth control in her breakfast cereal and she would never have known.

I'm glad the school in Maine is offering birth control.  It might just save a young girls "life".

[Levi]

SarahD why does the school have to offer it? Why do the tax payers have to pay for it? Why can't parents pay for it themselves?

I have no problem with giving birth control and I certainly do not want a young woman to have an unwanted child. But I just don't think it is the tax payers duty to pay for something the parents should be doing.

We are going to be living in a society if this sort of socialism keeps up, where children are going to expect everything handed to them and they have no responsibility and don't care about workinmg to achieve someone. And they would have no sense of personal responsibility or accountability for their actions.

What sort of message is this sending? That if you are in a problem that the Government is going to get you out?

[LouiseVargas]

You ask why parents can't pay for the pills. The answer is that the kids don't want the parents to know.

[Levi]

That isn't the fault of me, the tax payer.

[GreatOwl]

That isn't the fault of me, the tax payer.

No, it is not your fault or the fault of any other taxpayer.  This actually is a move to reduce your tax burden.  One of the aspects of teen pregnancy is that it usually requires social services to become involved.  There are counseling sessions, medications, health exams and in several cases the fees of setting the adoption process in motion.  If the teen chooses to keep the baby, there is post birth monitoring which is required by law.  In many instances parents do take an active part in their teen's pregnancy.  They try to support in all manners possible.  However, there are just as many instances where the parent's either don't or are not financially capable of taking on that responsibility.  It is we, the taxpayers who have been paying for this through our tax dollars in the recent and distant past.

The only way to truly reduce our tax burden is to reduce teen pregnancy.  It costs far less to provide birth control than to support an actual pregnancy.  It used to be that a teen left school and was sent off to a boarding school when they became pregnant.  The other option was that they were medically excused.  This not the case now.  Teens are now required to attend school and each school district is required to have a plan in place for the education of each of those students.  If the teen is medically unable to attend the actual school then federal law requires that each school district educate that student through outreach.  We are required to provide free public education for all students under 18 years of age and in some instances under 21 years of age.

[MsVada]

SarahD why does the school have to offer it? Why do the tax payers have to pay for it? Why can't parents pay for it themselves?

I have no problem with giving birth control and I certainly do not want a young woman to have an unwanted child. But I just don't think it is the tax payers duty to pay for something the parents should be doing.

We are going to be living in a society if this sort of socialism keeps up, where children are going to expect everything handed to them and they have no responsibility and don't care about workinmg to achieve someone. And they would have no sense of personal responsibility or accountability for their actions.

What sort of message is this sending? That if you are in a problem that the Government is going to get you out?

SarahD

You need to be aware that this particular middle school has a very broad ethnicity attending this school.  You have a large populus of refugee's that have come here in the past 10 years that all have different ways with dealing with parenting their teenagers as to what is acceptable behaviour sexually.  Some cultures it is okay for their 12-15 year old girls to be sexually active. Some countries even have their 12 year old girls already married.   We have to move forward with making birth control available during the education of these young girls.  This health clinic in the school accepts parens insurance also, as well as the state run programs.  so as a taxpayer,  we'd be paying for some of these in one way or another.