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Author Topic: Monkey Musings Daily Open Discussion #8 10/24 - 11/19/2007  (Read 214882 times)
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Angiex911dsptchr
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« Reply #140 on: October 28, 2007, 08:04:10 PM »

Nice pictures of the sasquatch  Surprised Appears someone started Halloween early or a Bear mated with a Human  Shocked

  LOL  Hi yah OBS, !! How you be?  Cool

Hi Angie! Doin iight...Just watchin these Boston teams destroy their opponents  Very Happy How goes it?

 Glad your team is kicking butt !  Cool
Ok here.. work been busy.. had a tradgedy occur a few days ago.. Sad  and sighhhh.. I got wrecked into last evening on my way home.  Rear~ended by a young kid. He left a nice set of rubber on the road. After what I have went thru the last few days with a death of a friend.. I didn't even get upset after being hit. This poor kid was crying.. he said my mom and dad are gonna kill me.  He had just go the car few days prior.. Mitzabishi Eclipse..  <sp?>   Came to find out after talking to him .. he knows my son and step son. All I could do was hug the kid and tell him, nobody was hurt.. cars can be repaired .. but a loss of life can't.   He apologized 10 times I swear.  Gotta take my car tomorrow for an estimate. 
<I need a vacation..lol>
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Angiex911dsptchr
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« Reply #141 on: October 28, 2007, 08:06:31 PM »

Why Parents Drink !  Laughing

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad."


With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.


Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.


Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better.


She deserves it. Don't worry Dad. I'm15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a report card that's in my center desk drawer.

I love you.......call me when it's safe to come home


ROFL.. sounds like something my son would write to me!   Laughing
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« Reply #142 on: October 28, 2007, 08:10:31 PM »

I guess thats why teens have to be 18 to drive in europe and they pay hefty insurance to drive here in the states Sad I am so sorry to hear about your friend and the accident!! Maybee the joke on the page before will make you fell a little better 
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Angiex911dsptchr
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« Reply #143 on: October 28, 2007, 08:12:03 PM »

Another monkey sent me this a week or so ago..    Laughing
It is hilarious  Smile

BATHROOM BREAK

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/786303/bathroom_break/
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Angiex911dsptchr
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« Reply #144 on: October 28, 2007, 08:14:13 PM »

I guess thats why teens have to be 18 to drive in europe and they pay hefty insurance to drive here in the states Sad I am so sorry to hear about your friend and the accident!! Maybee the joke on the page before will make you fell a little better 


I need some laughs.. for sure!!   
I wish driving age here in PA was 18 as well.. I was hoping they passed that law before my son started to drive.!
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« Reply #145 on: October 28, 2007, 08:22:08 PM »

I guess thats why teens have to be 18 to drive in europe and they pay hefty insurance to drive here in the states Sad I am so sorry to hear about your friend and the accident!! Maybee the joke on the page before will make you fell a little better 


I need some laughs.. for sure!!   
I wish driving age here in PA was 18 as well.. I was hoping they passed that law before my son started to drive.!

I know a few states use to be 14..Can you imagine that?  Shocked
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« Reply #146 on: October 28, 2007, 08:25:55 PM »

New Seat Belt  Razz

The national Highway Safety Council has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt. Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed. Correct installation is illustrated below.......


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« Reply #147 on: October 28, 2007, 08:47:32 PM »

Haha..I know the women here love me for these jokes I post  Very Happy Confused silent
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« Reply #148 on: October 28, 2007, 08:50:33 PM »

Haha..I know the women here love me for these jokes I post  Very Happy Confused silent

The jokes don't bother me at all!   Laughing Laughing
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Angiex911dsptchr
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« Reply #149 on: October 28, 2007, 08:50:54 PM »

New Seat Belt  Razz

The national Highway Safety Council has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt. Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed. Correct installation is illustrated below.......





 Laughing Laughing Laughing

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Angiex911dsptchr
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« Reply #150 on: October 28, 2007, 08:52:10 PM »

I guess thats why teens have to be 18 to drive in europe and they pay hefty insurance to drive here in the states Sad I am so sorry to hear about your friend and the accident!! Maybee the joke on the page before will make you fell a little better 


I need some laughs.. for sure!!   
I wish driving age here in PA was 18 as well.. I was hoping they passed that law before my son started to drive.!

I know a few states use to be 14..Can you imagine that?  Shocked

 Shocked  Holy crap !  No way.. can't imagine !
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Angiex911dsptchr
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« Reply #151 on: October 28, 2007, 08:55:07 PM »

BROKEBACK BAR
 

 
  Laughing Laughing
 
 
 
 A cowboy walks into a bar, a few miles West of Brokeback Mountain, and after two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar. 'What the hell,' he says to himself, 'I really want a drink.'  When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy, 'What's the name of your 'willy'?' The cowboy says, 'Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink.' The gay waiter says, 'I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your 'willy'. Mine for instance is called NIKE, for the slogan 'Just Do It.' That guy down at the end of the bar calls his SNICKERS, because It really Satisfies.' The cowboy looks dumbfounded, so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer, 'Hey bud, what's the name of yours?' The man looks back and says with a smile, 'TIMEX.' The thirsty cowboy asks, 'Why Timex?' The fella proudly replies, ''Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin!'' A little shaken, the cowboy turns to two fella's on his right, who happen to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, 'So,what do you guys call yours?' The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims, FORD, because ''Quality is Job One.' Then he adds, 'Have you driven a Ford lately?' The guy next to him then says, 'I call mine CHEVY, 'Like a Rock!' And gives a wink! Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his manhood. Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, 'The name of my 'willy' is SECRET. Now give me a beer.' The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, 'Why Secret?' The cowboy says, 'Because it's 'STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN !'
 
   
 


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« Reply #152 on: October 28, 2007, 09:01:59 PM »

 Very Happy I like it..But since thats the second gay joke you have posted in a week you have to take the test Smile

http://www.starterupsteve.com/swf/gaytest.html
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Angiex911dsptchr
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« Reply #153 on: October 28, 2007, 09:06:45 PM »

Very Happy I like it..But since thats the second gay joke you have posted in a week you have to take the test Smile

http://www.starterupsteve.com/swf/gaytest.html

 You stinker ! 
LMAO  Laughing I didn't post the OTHER funny one, it was too bad. I emailed it .  Well.. it said to email to guys that could handle it.. LOL   Laughing
 
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oldfart
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« Reply #154 on: October 28, 2007, 09:08:49 PM »

*******
I like the cartoo...   do you have one that is where the wife is asking the Hubby ..

Why NOT stop and ask for directions  Rolling Eyes

Seeya
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It is NOT over !!! If you believe good prevails and that the truth comes forward then justice will be handed out.  I want answers!
Angiex911dsptchr
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« Reply #155 on: October 28, 2007, 09:15:25 PM »

   OldFart !
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« Reply #156 on: October 28, 2007, 09:17:15 PM »

*******
I like the cartoo...   do you have one that is where the wife is asking the Hubby ..

Why NOT stop and ask for directions  Rolling Eyes

Seeya

Cant find that one at the moment but I do have it somewhere  Laughing

Ok one more..I know I joke alot about women so this will even things up a bit Smile

FALL CLASSES FOR MEN
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, August 28, 2006
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.


Classes begin Monday, September 14, 2006


Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.


Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturday at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.


Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM.


Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.


Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio
Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesday at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.


Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday noon, 2 hours.


Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesday at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.


Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours ! Beginning at 7:00 PM.


Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesday at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.


Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors!
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"I lied and thats the truth"--Joran Van Der Sloot
Angiex911dsptchr
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« Reply #157 on: October 28, 2007, 09:30:58 PM »

Even if this is here for a second.. it will porbably get deleted.. BUT it is funny   Laughing



THE LONELY BRAIN CELL

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell which, by mistake, happened to end up in a man's head.

She looked around nervously because it was all empty and quiet.

" Hello?" she cried, but no answer.

"Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, but still no answer.

Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled at the top of her voice,

"HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?"


Then she heard a faint voice from far, far away............ ..

(Edited: sorry Angie Laughing)

"We're down here..."
« Last Edit: October 28, 2007, 09:38:12 PM by San » Logged
Angiex911dsptchr
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« Reply #158 on: October 28, 2007, 09:48:55 PM »

 Cool San.. its ok.. but it  WAS funny  Smile   Laughing
 I knew it would go bye byes..   Wink
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crazybabyborg
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« Reply #159 on: October 28, 2007, 09:50:03 PM »

A little off color but.............an
Oldie, but a Goodie:

A narcissistic mouse was wandering through the jungle when he spied a huge female elephant. Feeling his "oats", the mouse thought to himself, "I'm gonna have my way with her!" and jumped on the elephant's back and began to hump away.

A laid back monkey in a cocunut tree had witnessed the whole thing and thought to himself, "Look at that idiot mouse. Who does he think he is, anyway? I'm going to throw a coconut at him and knock his butt off that elephant." So, the monkey hurled a coconut at the mouse, but missed and hit the elephant hard in the side.

The elephant grunted at the blow, "Uhhhh", to which the mouse replied,
"SUFFER, bitch, SUFFER!"
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