Monkey Musings Daily Open Discussion #8 10/24 - 11/19/2007

[crazybabyborg]

hey...y'all..

Klaasend the tree looks fabulous....

I need some monkey advice....

how do y'all handle "difficult" ppl at work?

OMG! Have you been hiding out in my office, Mrs. Red, because that's the priority in my mind lately!

Difficult how? Manipulators, those who want ALL the credit, those who gossip, or those who are just cold and rude to their co-workers?

[Anna]

hey...y'all..

Klaasend the tree looks fabulous....

I need some monkey advice....

how do y'all handle "difficult" ppl at work?

OMG! Have you been hiding out in my office, Mrs. Red, because that's the priority in my mind lately!

Difficult how? Manipulators, those who want ALL the credit, those who gossip, or those who are just cold and rude to their co-workers?

I give everybody a new chew bone!   

That keeps them busy.   

Oh, wait!  You said people but I don't have any of those except Harvey and he is not difficult.

[mrs. red]

CBB,

how about all of the above? especially the cold and rude to everyone and down right incompetent???

Also many people suspect this person is trying to set the company up for a lawsuit so they can "retire".... but none of the higher ups see it... and none of us can figure out how they don't notice that this person just doesn't know thier job or even get along with anyone.

[San]

hey...y'all..

Klaasend the tree looks fabulous....

I need some monkey advice....

how do y'all handle "difficult" ppl at work?

A nasty look is worth a thousand words

Well if it is a person that just sits near me and I don't work for them I don't talk to them and they eventually get the message I don't like them and they keep away from me.

If it is someone I work with I try and keep it as professional as I can.  I don't make small talk with them and just do what I have to do.

If it is someone who is trying to start trouble I document everything and wait for my opportunity to let them know I am not going to take their sh!t.

[tcumom]

CBB,

how about all of the above? especially the cold and rude to everyone and down right incompetent???

Also many people suspect this person is trying to set the company up for a lawsuit so they can "retire".... but none of the higher ups see it... and none of us can figure out how they don't notice that this person just doesn't know thier job or even get along with anyone.

If that's the case, start documenting *right now* . . . backtrack if you can, to when this began; if others notice, also, that needs to be documented, too.  Husband had this happen many years ago at the branch office of his company . . . we won the ridiculous, outrageous lawsuit because we were prepared.   

[mrs. red]

San... I don't even talk to them except via email... and I copy thier boss and the world, that way my words can't be twisted...this person has told several lies about several people and is famous amoung us "lower" staff for twisting our words....

there is so much documentation and everyone is completely verbal about this person but management doesn't seem to think that there is an issue...  - or they do and they are trying to CYA in case of a lawsuit??

TCU, I do keep all documentation..... since I began the job actually!

Unfortunately this person is one I have to interact with..... keep me in all your prayers!

[tcumom]

Mrs. Red ~ Believe me, I know it can be a miserable working atmosphere . . . I always felt like I had to weigh every word and even the delivery of a question or statement.  It was nerve-wracking. . .and the woman creeped me out, to boot!

Hugs and prayers to you.

[mrs. red]

Mrs. Red ~ Believe me, I know it can be a miserable working atmosphere . . . I always felt like I had to weigh every word and even the delivery of a question or statement.  It was nerve-wracking. . .and the woman creeped me out, to boot!

Hugs and prayers to you.

Oh... you have totally walked in my shoes then!!! I love everything about this job but this person... have gone to HR twice already... and I know that a couple of other managers have complained about them to thier boss... but it's like she has blackmail pictures or is related to an owner.

[2NJSons_Mom]

sleddogs, my husband was thankful for the links.  He also had an email he wanted me to get to you, but I researched and it was mostly false.....he's not exactly an internet genious....love him just the same.

mrs. red, don't let the b'tards let you down...been there, done that...but I'm unemployed, so I guess my advice is crapola.   

[2NJSons_Mom]

Mrs. Red ~ Believe me, I know it can be a miserable working atmosphere . . . I always felt like I had to weigh every word and even the delivery of a question or statement.  It was nerve-wracking. . .and the woman creeped me out, to boot!

Hugs and prayers to you.

Oh... you have totally walked in my shoes then!!! I love everything about this job but this person... have gone to HR twice already... and I know that a couple of other managers have complained about them to thier boss... but it's like she has blackmail pictures or is related to an owner.

ah, she's got the glossy black & whites...have had those experiences, too...sux (sorry)  Wish I had a solution for 'ya.

[mrs. red]

NJ.. your advice isn't crapola....I wish you had a solution too! 

I keep hearing just hang in there... etc etc... but dang it's awful....

[tcumom]

Oh... you have totally walked in my shoes then!!! I love everything about this job but this person... have gone to HR twice already... and I know that a couple of other managers have complained about them to thier boss... but it's like she has blackmail pictures or is related to an owner.

Maybe by some sort of a miracle (actually, a double-edged sword), the company will suddenly need to re-evaluate and perhaps *downsize* .  cough. cough. 

We all know that's how many undesireable employees are finally shown the exit door.  And, with a layoff, sure, there's unemployment . . . but, at least the chair is empty. 

[mrs. red]

well they are reorging right now....so maybe if the Monkeys pray for me???

I don't necessarily want this person unemployed, just not where I am !


Goodness y'all ... it's late and I have a long day tomorrow... ugh...

Have a wonderful night... it's good to actually get to talk to y'all I have been missing you all... but GOOD NIGHT... I will see y'all tomorrow... maybe with a good story or so...

the saga of mrs red's adventures at work....

Once CBB and Klaas get me into my Christmas clothes, I can't wait to see me on the tree!!

[tcumom]

well they are reorging right now....so maybe if the Monkeys pray for me???

I don't necessarily want this person unemployed, just not where I am !


Goodness y'all ... it's late and I have a long day tomorrow... ugh...

Have a wonderful night... it's good to actually get to talk to y'all I have been missing you all...


Once CBB and Klaas get me into my Christmas clothes, I can't wait to see me on the tree!!

Good night, good luck, we'll say prayers. 
And, you're so nice, but I'm going to pray she gets canned!

[Red]

Just the other day Scared Monkeys received its 10 millionth visitor.

Well today the Scared Monkeys Missing & Exploited web site, www.missingexploited.com received its 1 millionth visitor. MissingExploited.com covers all missing person cases and crimes against children.

Thank you to all who have visited and read the many stories posted there. The families of missing loved one's thank you as well.

http://www.missingexploited.com/

[Angiex911dsptchr]

Mrs Red.. hang in there !!
 I get really frustrated at work. 
 REALLY bad lately.. and I have a sick son now here too.

Keeping you in my prayers. Things will get better.   

[klaasend]

Just the other day Scared Monkeys received its 10 millionth visitor.

Well today the Scared Monkeys Missing & Exploited web site, www.missingexploited.com received its 1 millionth visitor. MissingExploited.com covers all missing person cases and crimes against children.

Thank you to all who have visited and read the many stories posted there. The families of missing loved one's thank you as well.

http://www.missingexploited.com/

WOW!  Two big milestones in one week!  Congratulations!

[GreatOwl]

Mrs. Red, it sounds like you have taken about all the precautions you can take.  The most important you have already set into motion.  Document, document and document everything you do and say around this particular person.  I wish I could tell you that everything will get better, but I really can not.  The fact is that employee and employer relations are becoming more and more strained not only as the years have passed, but you will find that as you get older there will be even more situations that upset you.

This is no different in either the public sector or the private world.  While it is not easy to prove, age discrimination is a very real problem in the work place.  I went through it and now Mrs. Owl is in situations that are very frustrating.  It is common for the work load to increase, employment conditions to worsen and if you let it you will begin to sleep less and less.

Do not isolate yourself from others.  Keep your communication lines open with as many peers, both at work and away, as you possibly can.  As hard as it can be, don't let the incompetencies of others dominate your thoughts or your conversations with others.  You can really only have a true influence over yourself and your own feelings.  Find the things you enjoy most in life and talk about those.  When you come home make it a point to come home to something positive that you really enjoy.  Reward yourself for your own positive thoughts and actions by buying something you like, or by doing something very special.  Release your frustrations and certainly don't hide them inside, but don't bring them home either.  I have had the fortune to be around Dr. Darold Treffert (work not therapy) a few times in my life (advisor for Rain Man movie was one of his lessor accomplishments) and his own philosophy was to take time away after work and drive the long way home to decompress.  He suggested varying the route whenever possible.  Keep a variety such as seeing the leaves change or seeking out the christmas displays.  Nothing is that important that you can't take an extra 15 to 30 minutes to just be at peace with yourself.

It is not uncommon to have incompetent or even lazy people in the work force.  Those who like to balance their check book, have long phone conversations with friends or just take care of everyday personal business on company time.  There are those who make mistakes intentionally and claim they just didn't understand the process and could they please have some help.  You will never change them.  You need to change your reactions to them.  If you let them make you miserable then your own work is tedious.  As hard as it can be try to keep your self positive.

I know AARP has put out lists of suggestions that appear in their newsletter from time to time.  Mostly they attempt to suggest that you take some extra breaks during the day.  Pick up a clipboard or handful of papers and go for a walk as if you were going to deliver something.  Keep refreshed and have a colorful work space with photos of people you love and enjoy.  Have photos of past vacations and experiences or even pictures of that next destination or dream vacation.  When others come to you to complain about that person try to be supportive, but do not dwell on it.  Change the subject to something pleasant without being rude.  You will not be able to change that person's actions so create a pleasant place for yourself to be.

Some of this is redundant, however, it is important to protect yourself.  Not just physically, but emotionally.  As we age it is not uncommon for mental health to decline.  We do have a tendency to see far more negative actions and issues than ever before.  This probably because we are more experienced and are able to see a much broader picture.

All I can do is to wish you luck and encourage you to stay positive.  Sooner or later karma does catch up.  Keep that beautiful smile about you!!!!!!   

[MumInOhio]

Mrs. Red, it sounds like you have taken about all the precautions you can take.  The most important you have already set into motion.  Document, document and document everything you do and say around this particular person.  I wish I could tell you that everything will get better, but I really can not.  The fact is that employee and employer relations are becoming more and more strained not only as the years have passed, but you will find that as you get older there will be even more situations that upset you.

This is no different in either the public sector or the private world.  While it is not easy to prove, age discrimination is a very real problem in the work place.  I went through it and now Mrs. Owl is in situations that are very frustrating.  It is common for the work load to increase, employment conditions to worsen and if you let it you will begin to sleep less and less.

Do not isolate yourself from others.  Keep your communication lines open with as many peers, both at work and away, as you possibly can.  As hard as it can be, don't let the incompetencies of others dominate your thoughts or your conversations with others.  You can really only have a true influence over yourself and your own feelings.  Find the things you enjoy most in life and talk about those.  When you come home make it a point to come home to something positive that you really enjoy.  Reward yourself for your own positive thoughts and actions by buying something you like, or by doing something very special.  Release your frustrations and certainly don't hide them inside, but don't bring them home either.  I have had the fortune to be around Dr. Darold Treffert (work not therapy) a few times in my life (advisor for Rain Man movie was one of his lessor accomplishments) and his own philosophy was to take time away after work and drive the long way home to decompress.  He suggested varying the route whenever possible.  Keep a variety such as seeing the leaves change or seeking out the christmas displays.  Nothing is that important that you can't take an extra 15 to 30 minutes to just be at peace with yourself.
It is not uncommon to have incompetent or even lazy people in the work force.  Those who like to balance their check book, have long phone conversations with friends or just take care of everyday personal business on company time.  There are those who make mistakes intentionally and claim they just didn't understand the process and could they please have some help.  You will never change them.  You need to change your reactions to them.  If you let them make you miserable then your own work is tedious.  As hard as it can be try to keep your self positive.

I know AARP has put out lists of suggestions that appear in their newsletter from time to time.  Mostly they attempt to suggest that you take some extra breaks during the day.  Pick up a clipboard or handful of papers and go for a walk as if you were going to deliver something.  Keep refreshed and have a colorful work space with photos of people you love and enjoy.  Have photos of past vacations and experiences or even pictures of that next destination or dream vacation.  When others come to you to complain about that person try to be supportive, but do not dwell on it.  Change the subject to something pleasant without being rude.  You will not be able to change that person's actions so create a pleasant place for yourself to be.

Some of this is redundant, however, it is important to protect yourself.  Not just physically, but emotionally.  As we age it is not uncommon for mental health to decline.  We do have a tendency to see far more negative actions and issues than ever before.  This probably because we are more experienced and are able to see a much broader picture.

All I can do is to wish you luck and encourage you to stay positive.  Sooner or later karma does catch up.  Keep that beautiful smile about you!!!!!!   

GreatOwl...great post....DH hates his evening commute..45 minutes...and always takes the quickest,busiest route. It doesn't seem to bother him in the mornings,as there isn't hardly anyone else on the roads. Will suggest he takes an alternate route home occasionally.

[San]

Mrs. Red, it sounds like you have taken about all the precautions you can take.  The most important you have already set into motion.  Document, document and document everything you do and say around this particular person.  I wish I could tell you that everything will get better, but I really can not.  The fact is that employee and employer relations are becoming more and more strained not only as the years have passed, but you will find that as you get older there will be even more situations that upset you.

This is no different in either the public sector or the private world.  While it is not easy to prove, age discrimination is a very real problem in the work place.  I went through it and now Mrs. Owl is in situations that are very frustrating.  It is common for the work load to increase, employment conditions to worsen and if you let it you will begin to sleep less and less.

Do not isolate yourself from others.  Keep your communication lines open with as many peers, both at work and away, as you possibly can.  As hard as it can be, don't let the incompetencies of others dominate your thoughts or your conversations with others.  You can really only have a true influence over yourself and your own feelings.  Find the things you enjoy most in life and talk about those.  When you come home make it a point to come home to something positive that you really enjoy.  Reward yourself for your own positive thoughts and actions by buying something you like, or by doing something very special.  Release your frustrations and certainly don't hide them inside, but don't bring them home either.  I have had the fortune to be around Dr. Darold Treffert (work not therapy) a few times in my life (advisor for Rain Man movie was one of his lessor accomplishments) and his own philosophy was to take time away after work and drive the long way home to decompress.  He suggested varying the route whenever possible.  Keep a variety such as seeing the leaves change or seeking out the christmas displays.  Nothing is that important that you can't take an extra 15 to 30 minutes to just be at peace with yourself.

It is not uncommon to have incompetent or even lazy people in the work force.  Those who like to balance their check book, have long phone conversations with friends or just take care of everyday personal business on company time.  There are those who make mistakes intentionally and claim they just didn't understand the process and could they please have some help.  You will never change them.  You need to change your reactions to them.  If you let them make you miserable then your own work is tedious.  As hard as it can be try to keep your self positive.

I know AARP has put out lists of suggestions that appear in their newsletter from time to time.  Mostly they attempt to suggest that you take some extra breaks during the day.  Pick up a clipboard or handful of papers and go for a walk as if you were going to deliver something.  Keep refreshed and have a colorful work space with photos of people you love and enjoy.  Have photos of past vacations and experiences or even pictures of that next destination or dream vacation.  When others come to you to complain about that person try to be supportive, but do not dwell on it.  Change the subject to something pleasant without being rude.  You will not be able to change that person's actions so create a pleasant place for yourself to be.

Some of this is redundant, however, it is important to protect yourself.  Not just physically, but emotionally.  As we age it is not uncommon for mental health to decline.  We do have a tendency to see far more negative actions and issues than ever before.  This probably because we are more experienced and are able to see a much broader picture.

All I can do is to wish you luck and encourage you to stay positive.  Sooner or later karma does catch up.  Keep that beautiful smile about you!!!!!!   

This is great advice.  Many times coming home from work I have been offered a ride home from the bus stop.  I would tell the person no I like to walk because it is my peaceful time of day.  I would put my walkman on listen to music and just enjoy the walk and it really does help.