Shooting at Amish Schoolhouse, Near my home

[Elaine]

I am sure that all have heard (Red had on front page) about the School shooting yesterday at a Amish one room schoolhouse. I live in the area near where the shooting occured . The Amish people live all around our communities here, or we around their's , depending on how you look at it. To explain it better, I live in a part of Pennsylvania where you can drive a few miles and go through a small town then through Amish farmlands proceed through another small town onto more Amish farmlands etc.. I was very saddened and even in shock yesterday when this news started breaking about the gunman who entered the school. I must say, all of my dealings with these Amish people around me have been nothing but positive. They are good people, who just try to mind their own business, go about their business and try their best to be what God would want them to be. They humble me..... Yes, they live a very different lifestyle then most of us do, ex: they limit electricity, they do not believe in phones, or TVs, and they work from sun up until sundown every day. They ride around in their horses and buggies. They try to keep pretty much to themselves, as to try to not be influenced by the fast paced world all around them. Yet, at the same time, if you are in distress near them, they will reach out and try to lend you a helping hand. Some of them work at farmer's markets in the area and they go out of their way to be kind to you, or to serve you. They are gentle people, from everything I have ever seen.,they beleive in humility and non-violence....As of this morning, the 5th little girl just passed away, and 5 more are in the hospital.  The man who shot them,  shot himself. Earlier in the day, he had safely put his own two children on a bus for school, and told them he loved them......Then he proceeded to the schoolhouse, where he shot so many other's people's children.  Innocent children, as all children are. I have never seen so many grown people cry.Sad, very sad.

[nonesuche]

It's a horrible terrorist crime against an enclave of the Amish that are clearly pacifists?? There is no explanation nor justification even in the mind of someone terribly ill, this was truly a terrorist act.

I once lived about 30 miles from an Amish settlement in GA, they farmed and operated a restaurant out in the boonies, with the most delicious food and baked goods. I used to order their baked goods to give as xmas gifts and got to know some of them well over the course of about 9 years. They are just as you say Elaine, so willing to serve and to help, just so gentle and kind.

I used to wonder at times and even envy the simplicity of their lives, when I tired of the corporate rat race. The shock of what has happened to these families, well my hope is that it shocks our world and truly demonstrates that crime has no boundaries any longer.

Our country is in a moral quandry, with events like this and congressmen on missing and exploited children's committees, now soliciting sex from minors?

What a wake-up call.

[Sam]

Elaine, My heart broke when I heard this on the news. The tears were falling from my eyes.

All the school shooting have saddened me greatly. What is our world coming to? I think this one hurt even worse than others because it was such a loss of innocence. These young children had not been exposed to the world of violent movies, video games and hate that so many of our young are exposed to .

Yes Nonesuch it is a moral quandry when our elected officials can't or won't exercise some self control. JMHO

[Carnut]

Guess I'm really missing out on what goes on in a deranged mind.

Why, if the guy was tormented with dreams of molesting relatives and wanting to do so again, did have go and kill the girls?

What reasoning is invovled in having to kill the girls just because of molestation dreams, that he couldn't live with?

[nonesuche]

carnut-

It defies all logic, I am beginning to wonder if he had digressed to the next step of the rage he exhibited in ever molesting young girls to begin with, by graduating to ultimate monster status by murdering in cold blood quite innocent girls? Somehow I do believe he felt sexually gratified by this in some way.

Most people do not like to discuss it, but I have had two males confide they were molested as children to me, both did not have anyone to rescue them and neither had more than a few counseling sessions as adults to help them cope.

So the excuse of the 20 year vendetta won't wash with me, sorry.

[pdh3]

My own childen were a little apprehensive about going to school this morning, and I struggled to reassure them because I am having my own doubts. In all the world, I would pick a one room Amish school as the least likely to encounter such a madman bent on murdering children. I cannot tell them now it is impossible, just unlikely. And I have told them they must tell if they hear of anything being planned by another student. I also tell them to hide if they see anyone in their schools who looks weird or out of place, and call 911 on their cell. We'll sort it out later if they are wrong. It's a terrible thing to have to teach your kids what to do if someone has a gun in their school, or looks threatening. Schools are supposed to be safe havens for our children.
My heart is broken for all these children, and their families. It is just senseless violence. No explanation is good enough for this kind of evil. It is pure unadulterated evil to shot innocent children.
We need to take our country back.

[Carnut]

My own childen were a little apprehensive about going to school this morning, and I struggled to reassure them because I am having my own doubts. In all the world, I would pick a one room Amish school as the least likely to encounter such a madman bent on murdering children. I cannot tell them now it is impossible, just unlikely. And I have told them they must tell if they hear of anything being planned by another student. I also tell them to hide if they see anyone in their schools who looks weird or out of place, and call 911 on their cell. We'll sort it out later if they are wrong. It's a terrible thing to have to teach your kids what to do if someone has a gun in their school, or looks threatening. Schools are supposed to be safe havens for our children.
My heart is broken for all these children, and their families. It is just senseless violence. No explanation is good enough for this kind of evil. It is pure unadulterated evil to shot innocent children.
We need to take our country back.

Well, not to be too flip about it, but I'm pretty sure more kids got killed today in car accidents than got killed in schools.

But then I've never been a parent and don't really understand parental feelings and reasonings.

[Sam]

Well, not to be too flip about it, but I'm pretty sure more kids got killed today in car accidents than got killed in schools.

But then I've never been a parent and don't really understand parental feelings and reasonings.

Thats just it Carnut. More got killed in [/b]accidents These shootings were not accidents. They were deliberate as all the school shootings have been recently. Talk to your Mom or Dad, maybe they can give you some more insight into how parents who are supposed to try to protect our children as much as possible can make sense of things like this.

[pdh3]

It's the randomness of it that is so frightening. As bad as an accident is, and I am certainly not minimizing the pain and grief in any way, most of the time they happen away from the places a parent considers safe. A teen may have a car crash, or get sick - that's true. And awful. But to add to that worry the fear that some nut may come into our schools and kill kids for no reason is just scary.
I always was relieved to know my kids were safe in school every day, and I could concentrate on work. But now, with this latest shooting, I can't really feel at ease about schools anymore. And there seems to be no way to predict which school it will be next. It's too horrible to contemplate.
Our schools will become more prisonlike than what we'd like just for the safety of our children.
What is wrong in our country that people think shooting innocent children will make them feel better?

[LouiseVargas]

Elaine, I, too, am very shocked at this particular school shooting. Thank you for descriptively writing about the area you live in.

pdh3, yes the seemingly randomness of school shootings is very frightening. I live across the street from an elementary school in Hollywood. All through the day, I hear kids voices, announcements over the intercom and bells ringing. I see teachers teaching exercise with hula hoops. Imagine me looked across the street from my balcony and seeing this wonderful picture. I would think it would happen here before it would happen in Amish Country.

Nonesy, the whole thing for him was about sexual gratification. He brought KY jelly, a sexual lubricant, as well as S&M stuff. He bound their feet. He had a piece of wood with eyebolts nailed ten inches apart, apparently to tie their hands.  I thank God that his plan fell apart and didn't molest the girls before he killed them.

Car, be glad you don't have insight into deranged minds.  You could read up on it on the Internet but it would be depressing.

Sam, I cried too and it's rare that I cry. This was such an aberration. Although these young children had not been exposed to the world of violent movies, etc., the killer was exposed to violent movies.

The American family has broken down.  This is not the 1950s anymore. Parents are too busy to pay attention to their children. There is no other explanation. I feel we are all good and attentive parents here on this board. I feel we are all educated, well read and insightful and have been successful in raising children.

But, when this guy was molested as a kid, why could he not tell his parents? Why didn't the parents intuit that something was wrong?

I was shocked to hear his action was based on his molesting young girls when he was 12.  He couldn't have been called a child predator at that age, could he? And why didn't the young girls tell their parents?

It's like an onion with many layers. Under each layer you peel off, there are more and more questions.

I'm amazed the wife said she didn't have a clue. She thought he was a wonderful husband and father. This brings me to the state of human relationships.  

Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte

[pdh3]

Louise - I keep a copy of Children Learn What They Live on my refrigerator, and have since I had my first baby. I try to look at it and read it when I think I have been less of a parent than my kids deserve. It keeps me strong, so I can have good citizens going out into the world.
I have to agree with you about families breaking down. It's too easy for marriages to dissolve, and families have no time to be together, and have few ties to the community.

[Bobo2]

I read that the Amish have forgiven the shooter.  This whole terrible event reminds me of a fiction book I read over the summer, "Cage of Stars" by Jacquelyn Mitchard.  (She also wrote Deep End of the Ocean, about a family's anguish over a missing child.)  In Cage of Stars a Mormon family decides to forgive the killer of their children, but a surviving sibling cannot forgive.  Interesting book.

[pdh3]

Forgiveness is the hardest thing to do, but is very good for your soul and your peace of mind when you can achieve it. God Bless these gentle Amish people. They are examples of grace and dignity during the worst time of their lives. I may not undestand them, but I admire their ability to live according to their religious convictions. What great character they are diplaying for the world to see.

[Carnut]

Unoh, I'm domed to continue a life of despair, I don't forgive, never have, I hold a grudge.

Oh well, such is my lot in life.

[pdh3]

I am still working on forgiving my ex for all he's done to our lives, but it is hard. Everytime I think I can do it, he is mean to one of us again, and I have to start all over. It would be so nice to feel the healing power of forgiveness, but I am fiercely protective of my children, and I hate to see them hurt by their father's self-absorption. I cannot grasp the ability to forgive an evil man for murdering your child, and in one family, he killed two sisters. I am truly in awe of the faith the Amish have shown, and I am striving to follow their example from now on. It would be good for my kids to see forgiveness, and maybe they could learn to forgive easier than I have been able to do.
I wish the Islamic extremists could follow it too.

[Carnut]

I am still working on forgiving my ex for all he's done to our lives, but it is hard. Everytime I think I can do it, he is mean to one of us again, and I have to start all over. It would be so nice to feel the healing power of forgiveness, but I am fiercely protective of my children, and I hate to see them hurt by their father's self-absorption. I cannot grasp the ability to forgive an evil man for murdering your child, and in one family, he killed two sisters. I am truly in awe of the faith the Amish have shown, and I am striving to follow their example from now on. It would be good for my kids to see forgiveness, and maybe they could learn to forgive easier than I have been able to do.
I wish the Islamic extremists could follow it too.

Yes, I am in awe of anyone who can forgive things like that.

[A's Fever]

I am still working on forgiving my ex for all he's done to our lives, but it is hard. Everytime I think I can do it, he is mean to one of us again, and I have to start all over. It would be so nice to feel the healing power of forgiveness, but I am fiercely protective of my children, and I hate to see them hurt by their father's self-absorption. I cannot grasp the ability to forgive an evil man for murdering your child, and in one family, he killed two sisters. I am truly in awe of the faith the Amish have shown, and I am striving to follow their example from now on. It would be good for my kids to see forgiveness, and maybe they could learn to forgive easier than I have been able to do.
I wish the Islamic extremists could follow it too.

pdh3, I can relate, as I am a single mother of three.  My ex and I are on better terms now, but there were years in which all the efforts I had made on behalf of the kids would be wiped out with something mean the ex said or did.  It's not easy, but hang in there.  I once spoke to my parish priest about my inability to forgive my ex, and he gave me such a gentle and supportive response I've never forgotten it.  He said that while we are called to forgive, we are only human, and usually there is a lot of work to do internally or mentally before we get there.  Sometime it takes a lifetime of healing before we can get to that point.  The human heart does not heal overnight.  Now, perhaps the Amish are able to instantly forgive, but it seems to me that the parents and siblings of those slain children have a very long road ahead of them to assilate all that has happened and to again find peace in their hearts.  They are in need of our prayers and any other support we can offer, God bless them.

[pdh3]

Thanks, A's, for the kind words. I also have 3 children, and I do hate that they have seen anger and pain in the relationship between their parents. I had no idea that healing would be so long in coming.  I heard a rabbi say on TV, in reference to the Amish ability to forgive, that it begins in childhood. If you are taught, as part of your cultural make-up, to forgive at an early age as the Amish are, it is easier to do. What a wonderful gift for children to develop....the ability to forgive. I have resolved to forgive, since watching this tragedy unfold, and I will get there some day. My ex has done many hurtful things, but he has not committed murder. These families had so much more to forgive, so maybe I can too. They have inspired me.
I hope they have inspired the world. What a tribute to those children that would be.

[NM]

Elaine,
I should have guessed you lived in that part of PA.

This is a truly sad situation. My heart, prayers and sympathy go out to this community. The Amish are defensless against violence.

I live farther away but I still feel like they are my neighbors. Their presence is all around Philly.

My precious puppy-child Max Monkey was born in Paradise, and we frequent a farmers mkt near there. Among my favs are the peachbread and hand turned applecider.

[LouiseVargas]

I read all I could about the Amish this week and admire them so very much. They are full of grace and Godlike simplicity. Their lives are based on forgiveness, which is so basic to being mentally healthy. They have extended their hands to the widow of the shooter and her three children and all her relatives. Of all the donations pouring in, they have set aside a fund for Mrs. Roberts as without her husband, she has no means of support. I read that Amish don't have health insurance and Blue Cross is going to cover a half million dollars for the hospitalizations of the survivors. They cry, grieve, comfort and hold each other just like all humans do in tragic situations. Their children were instructed to touch the hand of each girl in each coffin so that they would (via the hand being cold and lifeless) understand that the spirit has left the body and has gone to paradise. What amazing values they teach their children in the most gentle ways. I'm so sorry this happened.