Monkey Musings Daily Open Discussion #13 12/16/08 -02/02/09

[Monken]

Monken...those are beautiful.  You are a very talented monkey     I would love a slice right now! 

Thank you, Numbers! You're always so sweet! Every time I make a cake my husband & I both want to take a big hunk out of it! Sometimes I make a small one just for us!! 

[nicnic]

I wanna see pics of your cakes Monken. I WISH I could bake...ugh. I can decorate, but can't bake desserts for anything!  I guess the decorating keeps me busy though. Our church did a Living Dickens Village type musical, and I designed the whole set...and spent 10 hours a day almost painting and gluing and stapling..it turned out gorgeous though. I am already filling a notebook full of sketches and designs for next year.LOL

[snoopy]

nicnic we'd love to see pictures of the Dickens Village set.  Monkens cake pictures are on page 1.

Monken the cakes are wonderful!

[Today]

For the well dressed monkey


For the sad monkey

[IBE]

Today

Thank you for the laughs.

I just came back from the hospital. My closest, like a sister, friend is dying or so they say. hOever she started talking when I visited her, but I couldn't understand what she said. The ysay she died yesterday and they brought her back. I am sure she has papers that say no; but I don't know if I should get "into it" with the family.

We have talked alot about death and the what after. There was a flash of light on Wed. in my home and I thought the rain leaks had arched something, put there was not pop or fire smell. I had just finished reading the book about Our Lady of Gadalupe. The next day I called my cousin in Indiana who is an electrician. He told me it had to something from the book. It may have been the time she went into the hospital.

I kept calling her and thought she had gone to be with relative in San Diego.

My other friend is in assisted living with Lou Gehrig's disease. She is 72; can't talk or move very much.

And my neighbor is threatening to commit suicide.

Thank you Monkey Family for listening, I am drained.

Love, IBE

[MuffyBee]

IBE ~  You are a good, caring and compassionate person to your neighbors and friends.  I've written and rewritten a number of posts but none seemed to say what I feel.  And then, this song came to mind:

"Let It Be"

When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.

Let it be, let it be, .....

And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, .....

The Beatles

[IBE]

Thank you MuffyBee

Had forgotten that song, but now remember why... I always cried when hearing it.

Hello LouiseVargas  see you here. Keep warm. Am hopping over to the Caylee thread.

Thank you.

[LouiseVargas]

Dear IBE,

I KNOW that you are good, caring and compassionate.

How do you feel about your neighbor's threat to commit suicide?

With love,
Louise

[flossy]

IBE, I sure hope things get better.  This time of year can be tough enough, but you definitely have a lot on your plate.   What an empathetic, compassionate person you are, though.

Big hugs to you.

[trimmonthelake]

Monkey friends I just need to say this here so I can get it out of my system.
After my son passed away it has been hard on the Daughter in law and the the two children.We are very close. She finally got her a new house and is moving in today.We are so excited.The kids are fixing to put up their Christmas tree.
The youngest said"Now we just need to get ourselves a new Dad and it's perfect".
He is only 8 and doesn't remember as much as the oldest about their Dad.Their will never be a replacement as far as the 11 year old GrandDaughter is concerned.
I am mortified....trying to be positive,but am heartbroken.
It will be o.k.,it will be o.k. Well I don't feel any better,but at least I said it. That is a start.   

[Anna]

I promised to post some puppy pictures so here they are!



















And Merry Christmas from the Yorkie Santas!

[misitx5]

Monkey friends I just need to say this here so I can get it out of my system.
After my son passed away it has been hard on the Daughter in law and the the two children.We are very close. She finally got her a new house and is moving in today.We are so excited.The kids are fixing to put up their Christmas tree.
The youngest said"Now we just need to get ourselves a new Dad and it's perfect".
He is only 8 and doesn't remember as much as the oldest about their Dad.Their will never be a replacement as far as the 11 year old GrandDaughter is concerned.
I am mortified....trying to be positive,but am heartbroken.
It will be o.k.,it will be o.k. Well I don't feel any better,but at least I said it. That is a start.   

HUGS to you Trimm!!! It will be better than ok!!!

 A little of what my family has been through...
In my husbands family the children have lost parents young...2 cousins lost their dad at 12 and 14...My husband lost his mother at 24 and his sisters were 22, 12 and 7..Our kids (being it was their Grandma) were 5 and 3...We spend as much time with my youngest SIL as possible she is like one of our kids..And I think the younger kids actually have dealt with the loss better than the older one...

My DH refuses to mention the death of his mother as a matter of fact he wont even mention her..And I cant talk about her in front of him he gets SOOO upset...

But my SIL and I talk alot about her..I talk about her with my kids to...My son doesnt remeber much but my daughter does she was 5,my son 3...She did not like to have photos taken so there are not many memories of her,visually....

But I try to bring her up with my kids whenever I get the chance I want them to remember her.

I am sure with your DIL and you, you will be able to keep the wonderful memory of your son alive...
He might not remember everything but as  long as he has such an amazing grandma and mom to keep his dads memories alive he will grow up with wonderful memories of what his dad was like....

Hold your head up things will not just be ok they will be AMAZING!He probably doesnt really understand the effects of his words on others...As he gets older he will grow to appreciate your son,His Dad, alot more..All the kids in my DH's family have grown up wonderfully and talk about their parents alot(with the exception of my hubby)even my kids love to talk about what they remember.

His memorys of his dad wont fade because I am sure he has a WONDERFFUL Grandma to keep them going!!!

Merry Christmas!! Please take care IT WILL BE BETTER THAN OK!!

[BTgirl]

Hugs to all during this stressful time of the year.

Anna, thanks for posting the puppy pics. They're gorgeous!

[Today]

Anna

THANKS

I love puppies

[trimmonthelake]

Misitx5,Thank you so much for your kind words.I think the holidays just amplify all the hurt and things left unsaid or undone when a loved one passes.Some peole feel so uncomfortable talking about lost family members.You know we lost a baby GrandSon last October(from abuse and neglect) and my Hubby never mentions his name...won't discuss the ex DIL or anything that happened.  I know it is painful but it just creates so much tension.Feel like you're walking on eggshells.
 I don't know why these things happen,but they do.I wouldn't wish this grief on anyone.
I am very fortunate to have a good relationship with my Son's wife.Some people don't get that.
I will be thinking of you during the Holidays,and wish you a good New Year. Thanks for listening.

[trimmonthelake]

Anna,Those are the sweetest little pup I've seen in a while.Thanks for posting those pictures. 

[Anna]

A boy and his dad go out for a walk on a cold, cold mornng!

[Anna]

Well, this is just a sad time for so many of us.  My EvilX decided he was tired of paying my support payments so went back to court and lied through his teeth about his income and got my payments reduced to am amount so small no one could possibly live on it.

He even bragged about his "million dollar home with a million dollar view" and the judge said he did NOT believe that was his only income but that I failed to prove he had other income.  He just retired and says he is living only on social security.  HA!  He sold his medical practice for a huge sum but put it all in his house.

Anyway, neither I nor my lawyer have a clue as to how to prove he has more income, etc.  Could be hidden anywhere under any name, etc.  I am not old enough to get social security and was stay at home mom and have nothing in work history nor marketable skills.  Also have rheumatoid arthritis and lupus.  Not physically able to work at at real job was why I did the pups because I could do that at home.

Well, I won't be able to keep my home now so can't do pups any more.  I don't want to be a burden to my children.  I do have a little money in IRA that I will use until I can think what to do.  I do not want to sell my little mini farm and have worked so hard to keep it but I can't now.

Not sure what I will do and will wait until after Christmas to try to decide.

So my heart is very heavy this Christmas as are the hearts of so many others.  May we all find comfort in the joy and love of the season.

[Lovinlife]

Sending a mental hug to all monkeys hurting.  This time of year is difficult to say the least.

Anna ~ I feel your pain with support payments...my EvilX just keeps fathering more children that he can't or won't take care of...try your local BAR association, they usually have lawyers who work for reduced rates, it sounds like you need someone on your side who knows the law. 

God give us all strenth!

[2NJSons_Mom]

Well, this is just a sad time for so many of us.  My EvilX decided he was tired of paying my support payments so went back to court and lied through his teeth about his income and got my payments reduced to am amount so small no one could possibly live on it.

He even bragged about his "million dollar home with a million dollar view" and the judge said he did NOT believe that was his only income but that I failed to prove he had other income.  He just retired and says he is living only on social security.  HA!  He sold his medical practice for a huge sum but put it all in his house.

Anyway, neither I nor my lawyer have a clue as to how to prove he has more income, etc.  Could be hidden anywhere under any name, etc.  I am not old enough to get social security and was stay at home mom and have nothing in work history nor marketable skills.  Also have rheumatoid arthritis and lupus.  Not physically able to work at at real job was why I did the pups because I could do that at home.

Well, I won't be able to keep my home now so can't do pups any more.  I don't want to be a burden to my children.  I do have a little money in IRA that I will use until I can think what to do.  I do not want to sell my little mini farm and have worked so hard to keep it but I can't now.

Not sure what I will do and will wait until after Christmas to try to decide.

So my heart is very heavy this Christmas as are the hearts of so many others.  May we all find comfort in the joy and love of the season.

Anna,

I wish I had some suggestions for you, but have seen this before.  My cousin was married to a dentist and had two children.  When the marriage failed, he claimed to have sold his share in his practice to his partner, claimed he had no income and my cousin ended up having to sell her home, the kids no longer could attend the private school they were in and he remarried.  He died young due to illness and abuses of alcohol & drug effects on his body.  She wasn't able to prove his income.  Her kids are now grown and she is managing an apartment complex. 

If you take monies from your IRA, be prepared to pay a penalty if under 59 1/2 years, and there's always the tax.  Just having the IRA, you probably may not qualify for any assistance (eg. weatherization, heat, electric), because it counts as income.  If your lupus or rhumatoid arthritis is debilitating enough, you may be qualified for SSDI, but there is at least a 6 month waiting period after filing, under normal circumstances.   

I do wish for some comfort, peace and joy for you and all who face uncertainty today.