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Author Topic: I Need Advice  (Read 1598 times)
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LouiseVargas
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« on: January 01, 2009, 03:31:13 AM »

What Should I Do? 

If I haven't already mentioned it, I live in an Armenian neighborhood. I live in a  12 unit building and have attained the title of "honorary Armenian" because I'm the only American still living here. I've lived here since 1971 - approximately 37 years ... a lifetime. I love my neighbors.

Some years back, an Armenian couple moved in upstairs. The wife was Lucy, the husband was Pogos and the children were Hovic and Sabrina. Lucy was very friendly to me when I was estranged from my daughter. She explained to me about the stages in life and what we should be concerned with and what we shouldn't. She said it was time to let go of children and live our own lives. She later moved to a bigger apartment house where she managed 200 units.     

Several months ago, my best neighbor Nareen told me Lucy had chin cancer, as well as cancer of the lower jaw bone. I asked her to promise me that she would let me know immediately when Lucy dies. And I want to go to the funeral.       

Today I went out back to dump trash and I saw three neighbors dressed in black coming from Lucy's funeral. "Lucy died?" I asked. Yes, she was buried today.

A short time later I saw Nareen and reminded her she promised to let me know. She had excuses ... "We were there all the time and we came home very late." I reminded her of the promise. She shrugged her shoulders and walked past me.

I am disappointed that I can never trust Nareen again. I would love to smack her across her face but that would not be civilized.

What can I do to resolve this on my own? I have to decide which neighbors I can trust, although it seems no one can be trusted.

Any advice would be appreciated.

With love, Louise
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Lucinda
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« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2009, 05:44:35 AM »

Hi Louise,
sorry about the loss of your friend.  Personally, it is not worth the angst to confront your neighbour Nareen.  Instead, go to lucys grave and quietly say your own goodbyes, and tell her in prayer that you wanted to go to her funeral, but you never knew.
Then, continue your life and smile at your neighbour Nareen when you see her.  Maybe one day she will tell you why she didnt let you know, or maybe she forgot to tell you, and will eventually realise this and approach you to make amends.  Id just be keeping to myself but stay pleasant tho.  You can say your own personal goodbyes to your friend, lucy.  Hugs to you, but anger will only eat you away and make everything worse. 
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LouiseVargas
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« Reply #2 on: January 02, 2009, 10:28:35 PM »

Thank you, Lucinda. Stellar advice. 
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2NJSons_Mom
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« Reply #3 on: January 02, 2009, 11:34:35 PM »

Perhaps Noreen would have been more of your ideal neighbor if you had offered to go visit Lucy while she was ill, rather than ask to be notified of her death and funeral. 

I have missed some opportunities to give to those suffering with illness and regret it when they've passed on.
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LouiseVargas
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« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2009, 12:24:35 AM »

2NJSons_Mom,

Thank you for sharing that! 
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