Miss Manners on Drama Queens

[nonesuche]

I had to laugh when I read this today, it does remind me of someone in particular, I expect royalty must go hand in hand with drama      

Miss Manners: Oh, Save Us From the Drama Queen!

Dear Miss Manners,
How do you ward off the Drama Queen?   Every occasion is about her. When there is a special event such as a birthday, she runs herself ragged to prepare for the big occasion.  She takes over the whole event, running all over the place buying food, decorations, things, etc. She makes a big production about how she was up all night cooking and running all over the place to pull everything together! Then she makes sure that not only the guest of honor knows but everyone that is within ear shot that she is totally exhausted from having to do it all. You feel the need to wrap her in blanket and help her to her car!  The fact is she insists on doing it all. We have some people that love to cook and have their own special dishes but that is discouraged because of “lack of room” to put out anything other than what she has prepared. Her drama is exhausting!  

She never gives credit where credit is due in any area that she supervises. She insists on taking all the credit for everything even to the point of saying an idea was hers when it was not. How can we discourage this drama?

The recipient often feels guilty on their "special day" because of all the work that went into making them feel special! Some people have slipped in one of their special dishes on occasion but it seems to be critical that she gets credit for the event. She wants to come across as very generous but in fact she is wearing everyone out emotionally! People just roll their eyes and say "poor thing" and she lights up like a Christmas Tree! Is there any cure for the Drama Queen? Rather is there a remedy to survive working with the Drama Queen?

Gentle Reader,
This isn’t your mother, is it? Because if it is, you know perfectly well that she is never going to change and you surely ought to be used to it by now.

If you are talking about a member of your social circle, then you and others in it need to assert control over your celebrations. The clearest system would be that you take turns giving parties and the person whose house it is in does all the work. If you want to share responsibility, then that person does the supervising, including telling this lady that everything is taken care of except the one job she may do if she wishes. And if you want to be safe, you will invite her only after the parties have been thoroughly staffed.

If none of this works —Miss Manners nearly began this sentence with “when,” knowing you are dealing with a determined martyr— then you need to coordinate your reactions to the first declaration of credit and exhaustion. Everyone should say, “Yes, thank you,” and immediately begin thanking one another for everything that was done.

http://lifestyle.msn.com/Relationships/Article.aspx?cp-documentid=1042041&GT1=8681

[tcumom]

Wow ~ this sounds SO familiar ~ I'm printing this out ~ perhaps an anonymous letter ~ handled with surgical gloves ~ no fingerprints.    

On second thought, I may need to print out a couple extra.  

[nonesuche]

I'm glad I'm not the only person whose funny bone that article tickled, too funny -- surgical gloves?  

[Anna]

None,
I think we all know a few of these Drama Queens.  This year it's my sister doing Thanksgiving and all of it so everything will "match" or she will boycott and go to Nashville causing my mother to not see one of her children on Thanksgiving and my mother is almost ninety.



And for them, it's always totally

so she doesn't seem to care about my mom very much.

But I am exhausted and have had a rough last few months and so have decided to take what advantage I can of her theatrics and so plan to ask her if it would be OK if my son and new daughter in law stay at her house a couple of nights so they will be close to the shopping malls, lol!!

And I plan not to even help clear away dishes but take my coffee and cake to her sunroom and park it!!  

She said she wanted to do it all . . . . . .      


P.S.  I encounter just as many Drama Kings as well!  

[nonesuche]

Anna-

I know what you mean, I've been the one tasked with all the cooking for the last few years, then suddenly my mom suggested us all going to a club for T-giving. I leaped all over that one, hooray !!  

I know some drama kings too, they exist everywhere and I have my moments when I get overwrought with things and people, but it isn't all about me. I'd just get real tired of suffering through those who step on others to elevate themselves, even on a message board.  

I hope you have a great holiday with your sister, you smile and look pretty, wait to be asked to do anything  

[Tylergal]

From the time my grandparents died, I took over the chore of doing Thanksgiving because my mother was too overwrought from caring for them up to the time of my grandaddy's death which was a week before Thanksgiving that year.  

For some reason, I inherited that task until my mother passed on and after.  Fortunately, I have two sons who like to cook and a DIL who likes to entertain so this year we are going elsewhere, and I don't care what kind of drama queens/kings they are, I am going to enjoy sticking my feet under someone else's table this year and not worrying about grocery shopping and sending DH back and forth 20 times the day of the event.  

[mrs. red]

I am thinking that I need to learn the art of twisting everyone's arm to hear how great dinner was.....

Just kidding... thankfully, I am spared drama at the holidays... although my brother, sister and I really hammer each other with stories of remember when you.....

in front of the kids... who of course, just howl with laughter...

an example... my sister put dirt in a lunch bag and carried it around with her because XXXX her high school crush walked on it....

and my brother is howling, laugh so hard you cannot breathe funny... so we are obnixious in a totalallydifferent way....