MONKEY MUSINGS DAILY OPEN DISCUSSION #20 2/19/09 - 2/22/09

[ldstlou]

ldstlou-

When have I ever proclaimed I was my daughter or posted her photo here proclaiming to be her???? Are you stating I am defiling Natalee's photo now? CBB made this avatar for me and it's to honor Natalee. Where are you getting these things from? I"m sorry but it's bizarre???? I can't follow what you are writing at times, truly I cannot.

Everyone here has a story, many here are less fortunate then you or I. I went to college on a full academic scholarship, I didn't have to for my parents would have paid my tuition but I was proud that they did not. If you think I didn't work hard to keep that scholarship you are mistaken. I can't know what you are being told about me by others but I can only imagine from what you have posted about me.

I've had a very fortunate life but I've also been a single mother and worked very hard. In fact post my divorce in 98 both of my kids who are both talented athletes couldn't play on summer teams for my job would not allow me to leave my office to drive them to practice in the afternoons. One of my biggest expenses then, I had no child support, was the late fee for picking them up from after school care. I didn't have a forgiving boss, I was required to commit a minimum of 60 hours weekly at work onsite. Be glad your job allows for your son's activities, be very glad. Nonetheless my kids found their way and we ALL adore our children, ALL of us think of them as the light in our lives. Only when I met Rick did I have that other person to help, then I lost him. A tragedy but then many here have had tragedy in their lives. I haven't lost a child nor had my child molested, I read some of the posts here and I can't even respond it is so horrifying they have had to endure that. Losing Peaches was a tragedy and some at GM had met her in person, yet when she began to decline, I didn't hear from Peaches direct about others calling to check in on her. I called her as often as I could, often from an airport. Maybe others emailed, I don't know, but I can tell you to get a voicemail back from her husband in which he was telling me she had died. If you think that didn't take a chunk of my soul  you are mistaken. I can't tell you how that felt, just listening to his voice broke my heart, to hear his agony.

We have many new posters here who have stories, equally as important to mine or yours or anyone else's. I did connect with Natalee's family early on but a family member PM'd me here first,  eventually I even spoke to Dave as well by phone as did Rick, for assistance with an internet security issue - Rick was an internet security consultant. I don't pursue the family however, never have, never will. I figure they can reach out and touch any of us here, I know Red and Klaas would facilitate that if asked.

My question to you is that if Jug is so adamant as you are stating, isn't he capable of posting here? I'd recommend if indeed he is as upset as you've tried to portray that he is. I would think he's quite capable of doing that.

I think you know who I was referring to in regards to posting pics of their daughter and claiming they were the person in those pics. None, I don't know you well, but know you well enough to know you would never, ever do that, as with most Monkeys here, that was my whole point. Why would someone ever do that to their friends?

My point was also, that I love seeing Natalee's pic, I fell in love with this young lady I never met just the same as everyone else. I am glad to see her pic in your avi. That is what parents do, they post pics of their children to proclaim their loved ones, not to claim they ARE their loved ones.

I know there are extraordinary people who have struggles and step up to the plate everyday. I have always been honored to post beside the people I have met through Natalee's tragedy. My point was, I don't have time to sit on the phone conspiring to derail. You asked me if I have been on the phone this morning, and I answered you. I don't have the time or energy to do all of the conspiring I am accused of doing.

Once again, I don't pursue the family. 

[nonesuche]

Thank you for your response ldstlou. I am relieved to hear it. I would never ever wish to harm Natalee's memory in any regard.

I did try to call two of the GM posters yesterday to discuss this, to hopefully stop some of this from continuing. Neither returned my call, although I have taken calls from one of those as late as midnight in the past - even when I had to work the next day and clearly they had been drinking too. The truth of relationships isn't always what we are told by others, everyone has their side.

[nonesuche]

ldstlou, I don't know who you are referring to with the photos of their daughter, really I do not. You will need to clarify who you are referencing for I don't know.

[nonesuche]

oh geez robo-posting once again but I did want to state something about kermit to you ldstlou.

I emailed with kermit long ago, have posted with this person too. I have never found kermit to be anything but full of integrity. Have you ever thought that perhaps kermit's sense that the family has been betrayed by Silvetti is equally as important to them, as are your feelings about Jug?

I wish you would try to think of it in that vein or at least ponder it.

[Seamonkey]

Hmm *looking around*...yeah so Good Mornin None, and all..i guess the cawfee is on? *shufflin over to the pot to fix a cup* Don't mind me, carry on...*yawnn stretch*


Hopefully the net is bit nicer to me today so i can catch up on the Caylee thread. WOW!! what incredible damning stuffage. Can hardly wait for another doc dump.

Good Morning Seamonkey 

I had my first cup at 5:30, I was behind on my spreadsheets for work  took my first call at 6 but hey, I'm not on the road so grateful for that.

Yes my daughter and I discussed the latest in the Caylee case last night, she was so worried she crawled into bed with me, but worried about posters even she has met backstabbing non stop. Son just called too, just to check on me. I'm lucky just as your mother is.

One has to wonder how Casey could have written what she did in her journal, talk about a black heart. The bigger issue is figuring out how this happens, how someone can throw away a precious child like so much garbage. We have more than enough problems in this world than to create more, right?

Oh good thing ya not on the road, i dunno about there but we were dumped with one heck of a storm, looks mainly to be ice now fallin on top of the few inches of snow we had overnight.

INRE: casey..i am beginnin to think it was all from a deep seeded mother hate issue, so she took away the thing her Mom apparently loved most (at least in casey's eyes). But who knows, thats just a speculation from a sleepy head. Also Jealousy has caused many a man to go nuts throughout history.

How one gets to that point to even feel the need to do sumtin so rotten and evil, I cant even imagine, I guess only another insane person would know.

Inre: the diary entry, i have no idea what to think, if it is indeed founded to had been written in that year..then OMFG!! what a sick twisted individual....more twisted then i imagined.  But i have a lot to catch up on, maybe they do have hard evidence showing the exact year it was written.

[2NJSons_Mom]

oh geez robo-posting once again but I did want to state something about kermit to you ldstlou.

I emailed with kermit long ago, have posted with this person too. I have never found kermit to be anything but full of integrity. Have you ever thought that perhaps kermit's sense that the family has been betrayed by Silvetti is equally as important to them, as are your feelings about Jug?

I wish you would try to think of it in that vein or at least ponder it.

It was suggested in a post, which I do not have in hand nor remember the author at the moment, that Kermit used daughter's photos.

[ldstlou]

Thank you for your response ldstlou. I am relieved to hear it. I would never ever wish to harm Natalee's memory in any regard.

I did try to call two of the GM posters yesterday to discuss this, to hopefully stop some of this from continuing. Neither returned my call, although I have taken calls from one of those as late as midnight in the past - even when I had to work the next day and clearly they had been drinking too. The truth of relationships isn't always what we are told by others, everyone has their side.

I should have shut my mouth..or my fingers None. I had no right to do that. I apologize. I will be the first to admit Lalas is a great friend. As many know, Nicholas's dad dissappeared 7 years ago and reaappeared last spring and is suing me for partial custody. I found out things I had no idea about him. He is NOT a good guy, I have been battling to keep him from my son for almost a year and Lalas offered one day to talk to me. I have cried many a tears over this custody battle with her and she has walked me though it all. I am not ashamed to say I consider her a friend, I could not have made it through this without her. I have never heard her say a bad word about anyone though, it is just not her nature.

[nonesuche]

Hmm *looking around*...yeah so Good Mornin None, and all..i guess the cawfee is on? *shufflin over to the pot to fix a cup* Don't mind me, carry on...*yawnn stretch*


Hopefully the net is bit nicer to me today so i can catch up on the Caylee thread. WOW!! what incredible damning stuffage. Can hardly wait for another doc dump.

Good Morning Seamonkey 

I had my first cup at 5:30, I was behind on my spreadsheets for work  took my first call at 6 but hey, I'm not on the road so grateful for that.

Yes my daughter and I discussed the latest in the Caylee case last night, she was so worried she crawled into bed with me, but worried about posters even she has met backstabbing non stop. Son just called too, just to check on me. I'm lucky just as your mother is.

One has to wonder how Casey could have written what she did in her journal, talk about a black heart. The bigger issue is figuring out how this happens, how someone can throw away a precious child like so much garbage. We have more than enough problems in this world than to create more, right?

Oh good thing ya not on the road, i dunno about there but we were dumped with one heck of a storm, looks mainly to be ice now fallin on top of the few inches of snow we had overnight.

INRE: casey..i am beginnin to think it was all from a deep seeded mother hate issue, so she took away the thing her Mom apparently loved most (at least in casey's eyes). But who knows, thats just a speculation from a sleepy head. Also Jealousy has caused many a man to go nuts throughout history.

How one gets to that point to even feel the need to do sumtin so rotten and evil, I cant even imagine, I guess only another insane person would know.

Inre: the diary entry, i have no idea what to think, if it is indeed founded to had been written in that year..then OMFG!! what a sick twisted individual....more twisted then i imagined.  But i have a lot to catch up on, maybe they do have hard evidence showing the exact year it was written.

I'm stackin 

Be careful on that ice for sure ! I hear we may have snow again this weekend, two snows in one winter, a big exception here. Red the dog will be so happy, he loved digging out his balls and rubber toys in the backyard from under the last snow 

I did not realize that the journal wasn't dated? See? I haven't had time to read up yet, in fact I have to do another call now so better go focus my attention. I have calls up until 10pm tonight ! Oh well........it's a job and I need to turn my attention to it now.

Whatever Casey's issues are with her mother, honestly it's my belief that our high schools do a strong enough job with our teens that Casey had to know right from wrong! I just don't cut her one ounce of slack in this ! I don't think Cindy is a shining model of behavior either and the entire thing is beyond horrible. I try not to think too long on how Caylee may have suffered, the pure physical suffering.......children are so innocent so I can't imagine how you do that to one.

[ldstlou]

Thank you for your response ldstlou. I am relieved to hear it. I would never ever wish to harm Natalee's memory in any regard.

I did try to call two of the GM posters yesterday to discuss this, to hopefully stop some of this from continuing. Neither returned my call, although I have taken calls from one of those as late as midnight in the past - even when I had to work the next day and clearly they had been drinking too. The truth of relationships isn't always what we are told by others, everyone has their side.

I should have shut my mouth..or my fingers None. I had no right to do that. I apologize. I will be the first to admit Lalas is a great friend. As many know, Nicholas's dad dissappeared 7 years ago and reaappeared last spring and is suing me for partial custody. I found out things I had no idea about him. He is NOT a good guy, I have been battling to keep him from my son for almost a year and Lalas offered one day to talk to me. I have cried many a tears over this custody battle with her and she has walked me though it all. I am not ashamed to say I consider her a friend, I could not have made it through this without her. I have never heard her say a bad word about anyone though, it is just not her nature.

and I have to state also I have never spoken to yap until she called me yesterday asking me if I had claimed she sent me e-mails. She certainly did not send me any posts or e-mails about you either and I apologized to her that she was involved at all.

[ldstlou]

oh geez robo-posting once again but I did want to state something about kermit to you ldstlou.

I emailed with kermit long ago, have posted with this person too. I have never found kermit to be anything but full of integrity. Have you ever thought that perhaps kermit's sense that the family has been betrayed by Silvetti is equally as important to them, as are your feelings about Jug?

I wish you would try to think of it in that vein or at least ponder it.

It was suggested in a post, which I do not have in hand nor remember the author at the moment, that Kermit used daughter's photos.

None I have always said that I believe that Kermit believes what she is posting. But I am honest in saying I don't trust her nor her intentions. I have seen what I believe is evidence that it was her daughter in those pictures she posted here. I wish someone would prove me wrong, because it bothers me to no end. I like to see the best in everyone.

[ldstlou]

ldstlou, I don't know who you are referring to with the photos of their daughter, really I do not. You will need to clarify who you are referencing for I don't know.

sorry, I just assumed everyone knew that is a major beef I have with Kermit, see now I am doing the assuming. As long as you know I was not referring to you.

[Seamonkey]

There was an '03 at the top of the diary, but it might not mean a year. Tho that is how one writes a year, but doesnt mean she even used that diary when maybe she got it in '03. I guess there are pages missing. I know i once got a diary, used it twice perhaps, then found it again a few years later and started to use it again. the start of it said 78, but in actuality i didnt truly use it til like 81. So who knows. Everything about this case is odd. I do not dwell too much on lil caylee anymore, i did that too many months and was sick over it.

One thing however cases like this drill home to slap one right in the face is how very precious everyone in our lives are and how we should always let them know.

You mentioned my mom being lucky. Perhaps it is me who is luckier..I guess, but after all shes been thru and seeing as she is the one that brought me into the world ,if it means me  tossing myself in the fire a few times for her to have a lil less stress, then so be it . She certainly doesnt need any stress, no one does. and especially not on the net.

[Anna]

People who profess to love their own child should be able to understand that we all do.  And why it is upsetting to have internet crackpots stalking them.

And even posting false information about them on open forums.

BTW, I have always considered it WORSE to post information or attacks on an open forum than to deal with them in private emails.  I know some have stated how evil that is but from experience to me it is the lesser of the two evils.

We all love our children.  This is not peculiar to a blessed few.  And we are known by the company we keep.  If someone hangs out with people who stalk the children of others and/or post lies about other posters, I have to think they approve of that kind of thing.  Otherwise, they wouldn't seek that sort of person to associate with.

[Anna]

Someone in the Caylee Thread was asking which airport is better to fly into Washington DC.

I have never flown into any except Regan International.  I think Dullas is too far out and would be expensive taxi fare.

Hope this helps and gets to the right person.

.

[theboyzmom]

Dang - we need a new cage - getting kinda stinky in here.

Anyway - do we have any DC monks? I need some info and was wondering if anyone could help me??? TIA

[ldstlou]

I have to head out and meet a client. I will be the first to admit I have not always handled myself the way I should have throught these past few months I I apologize for that. My feelings have been hurt, it is not an excuse, but I felt attacked and I attacked back. It was the wrong thing to do. I just felt as though when I disagreed with Kermit, lines were drawn and friendships I valued deeply were lost. If I thought I was wrong about this, I would have ended it a long time ago, I don't like this anger or hostility any more than anyone else. It affects your soul, your day, your week, and every aspect of your life.

[Anna]

Dang - we need a new cage - getting kinda stinky in here.

Anyway - do we have any DC monks? I need some info and was wondering if anyone could help me??? TIA

Well, I thought I just did!

 

And your flight will take you to one or the other of the airports.  Most go to Regan International. 

[Anna]

Dang - we need a new cage - getting kinda stinky in here.

Anyway - do we have any DC monks? I need some info and was wondering if anyone could help me??? TIA

I don't live in DC area but have son who does.  Almost afraid to say that for fear somebody will start stalking him.

But I think your flight will determine which airport and most go to Reagan.

[Seamonkey]

that previous post of mine was for NONE lol..i guess my coffee isnt workin today or i have a deep seeded inner rebellion against stacking lol.

[nonesuche]

ldstlou - I've met Lala's, took she and her family to a football game. I don't think I ever deserve her speaking ill of me. I also don't think the entire event with leaking info to test waters was wise. Look what has occurred after that? I don't know who "leak" is in terms of ever having seen the email, so I'm also not confirming it was Lala's. I do know she can post here and has not been banned, so it concerns me she won't come here to discuss it. This isn't some game you play, it is about life and death of Natalee. I'm glad Yap called you, frankly I was very very concerned about your post about my posts and emails. Are you aware that any LE affiliated with cybercrimes would tell you that it's cyberstalking to post emails that aren't your emails in public domain? Your ISP will tell you, if you ask. I think a wise person would not affilliate with someone who freely sends emails and posts they portray as made by others or belonging to others, around the internet. That would be my advice to you as well, it's me today and it appears Jen too, but soon it may be you they go after. Why can't that person come here and post to me then? Why not? What do they have to hide? Those might be some of the questions you might ask them. It all reminds me of the worm that turns.

I also have learned many many lessons, some really hard lessons, since my first post here. I've shared some of those over time with even Red and Klaas even when I knew I was at fault too, and other mods. I've not been above reproach but I also haven't posted much since Rick died until recently. Sure feels like some really mean payback from a group that chose to leave SM, that chose to chat about SM non-stop in the few times I was at their chat. All I did was complain about work and travel, I feel sure that wasn't fun for them either.

Custody battles are tough on anyone, I wish you what is best for your son with that. My ex is very absent and always has been, however it didn't stop his access to the children. Hopefully you have the right experts in your corner to support it for you, such as your attorney.