Things My Mother Taught Me.

[Carnut]

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

 

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

 

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

 

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."

 

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the shops with me."

 

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

 

7. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

 

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

“Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

 

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

 

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

 

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

 

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

 

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

 

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

 

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like
you do."

 

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."

 

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

 

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

 

19. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

 

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

 

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

 

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

 

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

 

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

 

And my favorite:

 

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

 " One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

 

 Somedays I am not sure whether life is trying to pass me by or run me down!

[Frijole]

Wow!  I think we have the same mother!  Thanks 'bro!  

[pdh3]

My mother said all those things too, and also the warnings about objects that would Poke My Eye Out.

[justinsmama]

I was always told the ever frustrating "I'll tell you when you are older." I'm older now, and she still has not told me a single one of those tidbits.  

[LouiseVargas]

Wow, I love this thread. I was told all the above too. Also that I could break my neck and kill myself.

[LouiseVargas]

Through the rough way my mother taught me things, I learned to teach my daughter in a gentle way. Since I was very restricted, I wanted her to be socialized. If there was no reason to say "no" ... I said "yes."

It seems to skip a generation. I was restricted. My daughter was free. My daughter's children are restricted ... I just heard this description I love - "helicopter mother."

Parenthood is not easy.

Good topic, Car.

[justinsmama]

Through the rough way my mother taught me things, I learned to teach my daughter in a gentle way. Since I was very restricted, I wanted her to be socialized. If there was no reason to say "no" ... I said "yes."

It seems to skip a generation. I was restricted. My daughter was free. My daughter's children are restricted ... I just heard this description I love - "helicopter mother."

Parenthood is not easy.

Good topic, Car.

Certainly a truism, Louise![/b]

[pdh3]

My kids are old enough now to laugh about my little sayings. Every night before they go to bed, before the " I Love You, Sweet Dreams", I ask "Did you brush and floss?" Now they will call me when they are spending the night with a friend just to hear me ask them that question. It's like a family joke, but they have perfect teeth.