Luvmyboys - story about her situation

[luvmyboys]

  hey everyone how are you? i wanted to tell you guys a story.i would like to know if you think i am out of my mind or not... i am not the best writer but i try. please don't me to hard me




  I have always been an overprotective mom,one day about 2 months ago..my boy's were outside in there driveway.there were 3 kids that came up and started playing ball with them.i was looking outside and i noticed that my older child ryan was looking at me as though he was saying are you listening to this mom...these kids were being very mean they were talking smack to them..and then i went outside to see what was going on. one of them kids got ahold of my sons hair on the top and pulled his hair in a dowmward way and was like you don't won't none of this boy!!!! ok so i was like oh he** no ..i told the kids to leave and then my other boy which is austin ask me if the other kid could stay..because he had  done nothing wrong. so i told him yes..well they ask me if they could get on the trampoline and i said no..and that kid look at me and said why? i said because if you were to get hurt your mom would be upset,she didn't tell me it was ok for you to be on it,well he started running his mouth again to ryan my older son.i was so shocked at the way these kids were acting, it scared me so bad..i felt feelings go through me like i have never felt before..i told these kids to leave and to never come back after he started cussing really bad...i felt like i was bout to blow my top...and i turned and looked at ryan and austin and i said..because of stuff like that is why i am the way i am, about not letting you go anywhere that i can not see you...i got scared and nervous...i could not help but to think omg there are so many other kids just like them 3.it kept on spinning in my mind that ryan would ride his bike around the block if i let him..and i just kept on thinking that them 3 boys would attack him kill him and just throw him in the woods...it was like i just could not get that out of my mind...and this story that i am telling you might not seem like a big deal to you. but to me it scared me to death..these kids were very thugish kids they were rude they acted as if the world owed them something..i know it was how they were raised,so therefore that would mean there parents were the same way...but the way i felt that day...was the worse i have ever felt i really can not describe it..and it makes me very upset because what if there is ever a time that one of my boys needs me and i don't know? and it might be to late..and i am always thinking like that...am i crazyyyy do i need to go see a doctor??? is this normal...my biggest fear in this world is that someone, a man would grab one or both of my boys, and do horrible things to them.... and that would be the end of me because. i would either kill the sob.  or i would really loose it, because i would feel like i felled my boys.if i were not there to protect them..either way my family would be destoyed...

[2NJSons_Mom]

Well, I have two sons who are now grown.  Our home is on a little one way street off a main thoroughfare & our little street only has a half dozen houses.  Only two of them had children of different ages, so our neighborhood was probably different than yours.  I had the boys involved in organized activities which I attended, like swimming lessons, pre-school, cub & boy scouts, soccer, ccd, little league, basketball and later they played high school sports.  They had bikes, but only could ride up and down our road to a certain point.  I had a station wagon when they were young and sometimes would put the bikes in the car and drive to a friend's neighborhood, where they could really ride their bikes.  The one boy on our street their age, was always at our house.  We took him with us many times because he never went anywhere with his family.  He'd be up and out early and would be out all day without at care.  There were nights, however, he'd want to stay for dinner, and I'd ask him to call his mother, and he'd say, 'she doesn't mind'.  I'd make him call anyway.  I think they just lived differently than we did and he has had some troubles in adulthood with alcohol & fighting arrests.  He's a really nice young man, but needed more than we gave him in a surrogate way.

Those boys you mentioned do seem to be lacking with regard to social graces and respect.  My mother often sent kids home, not because they were rude & mean, but because they lived blocks away.  When she'd ask if their mother knew where they were and they said 'no', she'd say 'go home'.  So, you did what my mother would do....now, you have to find ways your boys can interact with others, whether it be supervised or not.  If they have friends, maybe you could invite them with there Mother.  Not knowing how old your sons are, or what you have available in your area, I am not sure what else to suggest.

Your concern for their well being is understandable, but you cannot overdo it.  Somehow, you have to find a balance, where you trust them, they trust you  & don't have encounters that they cannot handle.  Don't make your fear be their fear.  You have to give them the knowledge how to deal with situations and then have faith that they will use it.