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Question: Did you live together with a significant other?  (Voting closed: April 29, 2009, 04:09:58 PM)
Yes, and married Significant Other - 34 (54.8%)
Yes, but did not marry that SO - 8 (12.9%)
No, what, are ya crazy? My momma would kill me - 1 (1.6%)
No, but did marry - 17 (27.4%)
No way baby, the single life's for me! - 2 (3.2%)
Total Voters: 61

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Author Topic: Living Together Before Marriage- How'd That Work For You?  (Read 22161 times)
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Sassycat
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« Reply #100 on: April 29, 2009, 12:37:57 PM »

Good job Tevye!   Hope you get that A+ !!   
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Fanny Mae
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« Reply #101 on: April 29, 2009, 12:43:01 PM »

Great paper, Tevye! Hope you get an A+!!
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Tevye
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« Reply #102 on: April 29, 2009, 12:45:08 PM »

Good job Tevye!   Hope you get that A+ !!   
Thanks, Sassy. I'm still thinking I have time to throw in a music quote (the theme from "Leave It to Beaver" keeps running thru my head:
June: Ward, we need to talk
Ward: About what, honey
June (adjusting her pearls): Ward, the Beav wants to move in with a girl!
Ward: Well, it's about time! June, he's a 30 year old bachelor living in our basement! Let him go!

dum da da dada dum tee dum....

oh, and did ya'll get the shout out in there for you? "monkeying around"? get it???
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no rose colored glasses
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« Reply #103 on: April 29, 2009, 12:47:31 PM »

Tevye, excellent, hope you get an A
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GramaMonkey
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« Reply #104 on: April 29, 2009, 12:47:50 PM »

Tevy it is very interesting that you bring up about the parents influencing our lives, it is so very very true.

My 22 y/o brother is marrying her girlfriend, they are expecting their first child, so the wedding is set for October of this year.  Well in the mist of it all, for some reason MY wedding came into question.  Now, we are Catholic, my family and my husbands, but our wedding took place in my mothers butterfly garden, why, because that is what I wanted. 

So anyway yes my wedding location choice came up in all of this discussion, as what NOT to do!!  I was a bit infuriated you can imagine, but even more so when my MIL chimed in to say that technically since we were not married within the walls of the Catholic church it was not blessed by God or accepted in Gods eyes.

Long story short, to make everyone else happy, my husband and I are having a ceremony in the Catholic church on our regular wedding day anniversary in September. 

Oh the things we do to appease the parents.  I went to Catholic boarding school for 10 years of my life, I am well aware of what is ok and what is not accepted, but it was my choice to break out of the norm how I saw fit, as you can see I have been vitto'd and my unborn children do not need to be considered "illegitimate".

At this point, I am at the humor stage of the "grieving" process.....gives me an excuse to get a new dress!!

I can see Dolce how the 'inlaws' play the role.  My aunt was preggers many years ago, would never admit always celebrated anniversary one year before....to cover the pregnancy.  My mom knew the truth as she was in the wedding. 

My aunt had to filter into her children's lives.  To the point that when her own daughter was preggers....there was an uproar, that you must have heard it in FL.  But...everyone kept ....quiet, as to not reveal the truth.  They felt she lied, or tried to cover the truth, and it will come out one of these days.

So...aunt being Lutheran, and new son-in-law being Catholic.  It went like this, to keep peace.  On Sunday, the married couple, that were married in the Catholic Church, and then remarried in the Lutheran church, went to both masses on Sunday....just to keep aunts mouth shut.

Wasn't until years later, when in the passing that the kids finally found out the truth.  Saddened...very saddened that their MOM...bullied them for years..for her own lifestyle.

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Steel Monkey
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« Reply #105 on: April 29, 2009, 12:55:02 PM »

Late to the survey, but here is a Male Type Monkey perspective...

Lived with HS sweetheart - got pressued to get married...broke up
Lived with next girlfriend - got engaged, got disengaged...broke up
Lived with next girlfriend - she got crazy...broke up
Lived with next girlfriend - bought a house, got married, 2 kids, 15 years coming up next month.
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GramaMonkey
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« Reply #106 on: April 29, 2009, 12:55:55 PM »

I must add this...my son and his girlfriend had a daughter...and the plans for marriage proceeded.  However, the little girl turned 2 and 6 weeks prior to the wedding a son was born.

Well let me tell you...HOW SO VERY PROUD I WAS ON THEIR WEDDING DAY.

My little grandaughter walked down the aisle between grandpa and mom.  My newest grandson, was carried out by my son with the groomsmen.  Oh yes, grandson had on a white tux as well.

To me...that was so beautiful, that it made their wedding day.  The 16 x 18 pic of the wedding day that they have of their two children (who are now 16 & 18) hang in their living room. 

 
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Tevye
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« Reply #107 on: April 29, 2009, 02:04:56 PM »

Late to the survey, but here is a Male Type Monkey perspective...

Lived with HS sweetheart - got pressued to get married...broke up
Lived with next girlfriend - got engaged, got disengaged...broke up
Lived with next girlfriend - she got crazy...broke up
Lived with next girlfriend - bought a house, got married, 2 kids, 15 years coming up next month.

Thanks for the male Monkey views. So 1 outta 4 ain't bad!
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Tevye
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« Reply #108 on: April 29, 2009, 02:06:07 PM »

I must add this...my son and his girlfriend had a daughter...and the plans for marriage proceeded.  However, the little girl turned 2 and 6 weeks prior to the wedding a son was born.

Well let me tell you...HOW SO VERY PROUD I WAS ON THEIR WEDDING DAY.

My little grandaughter walked down the aisle between grandpa and mom.  My newest grandson, was carried out by my son with the groomsmen.  Oh yes, grandson had on a white tux as well.

To me...that was so beautiful, that it made their wedding day.  The 16 x 18 pic of the wedding day that they have of their two children (who are now 16 & 18) hang in their living room. 

 
What a sweet story! I bet you had one of those smiles on, the kind that make your face hurt the next day, but a good hurt.
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Green Eyes
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« Reply #109 on: April 29, 2009, 02:46:58 PM »

I must add this...my son and his girlfriend had a daughter...and the plans for marriage proceeded.  However, the little girl turned 2 and 6 weeks prior to the wedding a son was born.

Well let me tell you...HOW SO VERY PROUD I WAS ON THEIR WEDDING DAY.

My little grandaughter walked down the aisle between grandpa and mom.  My newest grandson, was carried out by my son with the groomsmen.  Oh yes, grandson had on a white tux as well.

To me...that was so beautiful, that it made their wedding day.  The 16 x 18 pic of the wedding day that they have of their two children (who are now 16 & 18) hang in their living room. 

 
What a wonderful story GrammaMonkey. 
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GOD BLESS AMERICA
KarmaRoundUp
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« Reply #110 on: April 29, 2009, 06:03:33 PM »

Good job Tevye!   Hope you get that A+ !!   
Thanks, Sassy. I'm still thinking I have time to throw in a music quote (the theme from "Leave It to Beaver" keeps running thru my head:
June: Ward, we need to talk
Ward: About what, honey
June (adjusting her pearls): Ward, the Beav wants to move in with a girl!
Ward: Well, it's about time! June, he's a 30 year old bachelor living in our basement! Let him go!

dum da da dada dum tee dum....

oh, and did ya'll get the shout out in there for you? "monkeying around"? get it???
LOL....dang Tev,I feel like a star!   
Great paper,I hope you get all A's in this class,you work hard for it!
For the record,it's not that I don't support marriage.....I support whatever makes a person happy and content in life.
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Tevye
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Burn, baby, burn...'Ol Sparky is waiting for you!


« Reply #111 on: April 29, 2009, 10:44:06 PM »

Good job Tevye!   Hope you get that A+ !!   
Thanks, Sassy. I'm still thinking I have time to throw in a music quote (the theme from "Leave It to Beaver" keeps running thru my head:
June: Ward, we need to talk
Ward: About what, honey
June (adjusting her pearls): Ward, the Beav wants to move in with a girl!
Ward: Well, it's about time! June, he's a 30 year old bachelor living in our basement! Let him go!

dum da da dada dum tee dum....

oh, and did ya'll get the shout out in there for you? "monkeying around"? get it???
LOL....dang Tev,I feel like a star!   
Great paper,I hope you get all A's in this class,you work hard for it!
For the record,it's not that I don't support marriage.....I support whatever makes a person happy and content in life.

Oh, yeah, Karma, baby you're a star!!!! Thanks to you and all who helped. I'll let you know how the grade turns out.
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Northern Rose
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« Reply #112 on: May 04, 2009, 10:06:34 PM »

Good paper!
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mizjay
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« Reply #113 on: May 04, 2009, 10:46:08 PM »


   ATTA GIRL TEVYE    thanks for the survey, it was fun to read about others and also to sort of analyze parts of my life that don't get much thought.  I hope you did well and it was really quite clever of you to combine monkeytime with classtime.   Major award for you!!!!!!!  I enjoyed your paper and it seems like what you came up with is true. Talk to ya in the forum, and don't start trouble and get me O/T!  Sometimesjust looking at your avi gets me wanting to say something goofy.  I loves me some sponge bob  and add ole sparky, it's a good time just waiting to happen.    janet
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Tevye
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« Reply #114 on: May 06, 2009, 11:08:30 AM »

Well, kids, it's time to report the grade. I got a 9 out of 10 on it. Reading the prof's comments leads me to believe that he marked me down a point because I didn't take a stand against cohabitation. I believe that I stated my thesis properly, and totally defended my stance. So, that leaves only my thesis in question.

Being a straight A student, this little markdown hasn't been easy to take. I'm a perfectionist when it comes to school work. I have to keep reminding myself of this little gem that I figured out very early in this Family Life Educ. bachelor's program: As a FLE. it won't be my job to judge people's lives and tell them they're living their life wrong. It will be my job to help them walk the path they've chosen a little more easily.

So, he humbled me on the grade, but he reinforced my belief about my career. In the end, it's the beliefs that will matter, not the grade.

Thank you all again for your help (he did like the idea of the survey, but was sorry it wasn't more scientific....uh, dude, it's the net. It's not the place for private info like age, length of marriage/blah blah). I WILL be doing this again, as I myself found it very informative! Plus, it was fun yakking with ya'll!!

(Oh, and was I surprised that a minister would mark me down for thinking that living together before marriage was a good idea? NOT AT ALL!!)  Monkey Devil!  <somebody made that just for  me, didn't they???
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