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Author Topic: My CFS Diary  (Read 15118 times)
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MuffyBee
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« Reply #20 on: May 16, 2009, 04:44:37 PM »

Hi Lucinda    I think I can do a couple of knots.  A square knot and a granny knot.  That would be the extent of my knowledge and skills in that department.  I'm glad to see you continuing your efforts.  I thought of you earlier this week.  I was having dinner at a little cafe that lets guest musicians play on Thursday night. There was a young man of about 19, that was playing in public for the first time.  He was a little shy and his music was okay, playing some popular folk songs and acoustic tunes and of course the crowd was polite and applauded and encouraged him.  But then.  But then he  played a Johnny Cash tune.  Wow!  The crowd loved it!  They wanted more Johnny Cash!  Andwe all started singing along.  I thought of you, and knew if you'd been there, you would have been singing along too!   
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  " Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts."  - Daniel Moynihan
klaasend
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« Reply #21 on: May 16, 2009, 06:27:25 PM »

j/k  I can do them all, but the reef knot I can do real fast.  The others, I can do, but takes me five minutes to think of.  But I can do them. 

Good job learning them all!
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Lucinda
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« Reply #22 on: May 17, 2009, 11:31:53 AM »

Thanks for putting up with me.  Been thru a lot, and Joshie was the last straw.  i love my music, but scleroderma robbed my voice.  I have a lot of chips on my shoulders, and the thing is, this aussie group (just a  book puzzle group) gave me so much shyte, and I am a fiery one, so I gave it back to them, but no compassion, and noone believes all I have been thru, not looking for sympathy, but looking for a friend who believes in me, thats why I have made some great friends here, mary anne has sent me that much info on scleroderma, pooks has sent me forensics books you guys believe me.  Boo, tevey heaps of emails I cant even name have given me the greatest compliments, when I have no confidence in the world, a crap family life (cept my son, he makes me proud)  My medical I still dont know what the frig is wrong, cept a student doctor rang my gp and said they detected a fourth heart attack, (had three already)  M<y swelling is what is causing the heart attacks.  My oesophegus is so badly ulerated and hey, they give me an anti fricking depressant that causes fluid retention, so they strain my one good kidney with duretics, meanwhile mateys,  I love a feed guys but I cant swallow.  Soup yes, but at Cathys birthday party, i ORDERED MY FAV DISH, choked, ran to rest room, to stick my fingers down my throat to get it up.  I have not eaten today, drunk two cans of beer, and they got me on fruesmide that is a duretic, and I have a big container, pee in it, measure my drinks, fluid intake.  I do drink water but a few beers is like a food to me atm, and yes, I write the beers down too.  Thanks for having faith in me.  Im gonna post pooks all brians murder articles, she can forward around usa, as long as I get them back.  One of my good friends here, cannot believe how skinny I have got since christmas.  So, you all in here, thanks for putting up with me, and standing behind me, now heres my lil boy, guitar and handsome.  We both miss Josh, he was like family to us.  But, when you see the news articles, you will all feel the same anger we all did when brian was murdered, slap on wrist to killers, now lil joshie is dead.  I am strong, but I am also hurting and trying to do something right with my life thus cfs,  heres my son, guitar boy, I might have me on the drums in a p/b too. but prolly wont find it.





I will find me on them drums, might have to rescan the pic.  Im spewin, had a great one of me in the middle, Josh kissing one cheek, jeff the other, I didnt save to P/B or disc.  Im spewing about that.

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Lucinda
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« Reply #23 on: May 17, 2009, 11:47:00 AM »

MuffyBee, wish I was there johnny cash is my man ya know    hey hows this pic for a tat?  I got no room for it, but on a back, body in middle, let the wings go across either side of the back.  Id get it, but got half a back job already  Monkey Devil!

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Lucinda
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« Reply #24 on: May 17, 2009, 12:02:38 PM »

might be able to get it on my tummy 
CFS is tomorrow night, I promise i will keep every session updated, least Im not bothering people in the other threads how I go off topic, cos even my doctor says I could talk under water with a mouthfull of marbles 
Thanks and i can do all the knots blindfolded now, Barb spent last night here, and yesterday she helped me, so i will shyte it in tomorrow nite    Im devoting everything to this cfs course, klass, would you like me to email u my police clearance?  may as well, first certificate I have    Do it tomorrow, I got mosaic class at 10.30am, made a house number last week, looks like crap, but I learnt a lot.  I might post my crafts in here too.  Is that OK with everyone?  I understand if people dont want me too, but its good therapy for me, spilling my guts out, posting my cfs, singing songs, showing my craft etc.  Least im not interuptting threads.  Love Lucinda
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Lucinda
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« Reply #25 on: May 19, 2009, 10:30:43 AM »

Hey Monkeys, gosh, I read my previous posts in here, and I think what a idiot.  Im a soul writer.  Last night at CFS, I was tested for the knots, and done them all.  In the post yesterday, I got this folder, 13 modules, I will photo it,  its like real fat and big  in the next few days.  Hubby is sick, and I cant scan as he has set up this network that goes thru his pc before mine.  I got my welcome letter from the South Australian fire service.  I am on six months probation, gotta do that full week full on course, a weekend first aid course, then work on probation for 6 months, then can get my truck license and I hate driving fast, and Im gonna have to overcome that fear, sirens blaring etc, by the end of this year I will be there.  It will take me two years as a fire fighter to do forensics, but thats something noone wants to do here.  I dunno why, thats what i want.  I have a document to scan.  My acceptance to CFS 
Oh, and I made a friend, theres women there, but only one other woman cadet like me.  The other women are there with their boyfriends or hubbys.  Heather is her name, and she has finished the intense week course, but she wants to wait for me to catch up so we can get our truck licenses together.  its not regular trucks, its fire engines, and learning to drive at high speeds in safety.  I know in USA you cll trucks what we call utes.  What do you call big trucks there?  oh, and all the men there think its great, oh there is one prick who thinks women belong in the kitchen 
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Lucinda
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« Reply #26 on: May 21, 2009, 01:53:40 PM »

My pager went off last night when I was asleep.  I cant go out to calls yet, but by end of November I will be in there, sooner, but six months probation.  I have ny pager by my bed, here is what happened
My local CFS group all volunteer, contained the fire, then the MFS takes all the credit (paid fireies) 
http://www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/story/0,22606,25515754-2682,00.html
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Lucinda
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« Reply #27 on: May 21, 2009, 02:02:59 PM »

The MFS was on the tv doing all the interviews, they do jack, sit back and let the cfs vollies do all the work, 
Thats gonna all change when Im fully pledged, i will stick it right up them mfs bludgers  Monkey Devil!   In off to bed I cant catch up, working a full day tomorrow,  maybe catch up on the weekend.  Love you all  an angelic monkey
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Lucinda
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« Reply #28 on: May 25, 2009, 10:29:46 AM »

Tonights CFS was a spinner 
here I was thinking just the usual meeting, then they did a "fake" emergency call, Yelled out  Lethal (me) and six others.  We had to run to our lockers and put on our gear.  I have been studying the handbook and listening at lessons, but I was not prepared for this.  Got my gear on, then lost my engagement ring in the process    Couldnt worry about that, got my gear on and jumped into the truck.  They made me sit next to the driver, and Im still trying to do my helmet up, he goes GET WITH IT WOMAN at me, I knew how to get out the front of the truck safely, cos I have been studying.  Then he yells at me get the water on toprch from unit 5.  I got it out, and meanwhile, the other men were at the "fake fire" and Im running my fastest with these oversized boots and clothes with this water on/off torch    Hold the torch up is water on, midway is water off.  That was fun, then they made me run back to the fire truck, and said get on the back.  I climbed the ladder, and then sat, next thing I know is an "emergency" house fire, they blindfolded me with dark glasses, and I had a partner, and we were looking for victims.  All I found was chairs    I found heaps of doors to search thru, but someone else beat me to the "body", now this is where i "suggested"  (you all know me)  that in the darkness, I could help carry out the victim, by taking her middle weight.  They didnt let me.  "The victim" agreed I couldve managed her weight, and she felt that the two men carrying her shoulder part and feet, she needed back support.  I told them I coulda done that.  It was all training, but I got an applause cos i was not afraid to go into a darkness, and get clostrophobia.  I still got a long way to go.  I scanned my acceptance for Klaas, she can read and post, also the manual I am learning.  Tonight, I got called away by the leader, and he said that I will cop loads of shyte cos this is a mans job.  My friend also copped heaps too.  He said he will stick by me, and i told him if I dont do it right, I can be the tea lady, otherwise the men better give me a chance or I will tell them what pigs they are.  And I will too. 
Mans job LMFAO  a woman can do this job prolly better.  So, yeah not real easy being hated by the majority, oh it was all OK when they think I was being catering lady 
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Lucinda
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« Reply #29 on: May 25, 2009, 11:17:30 AM »

Some (most) of the men there are so mean to me now.  Theres 3 who are not.  Heather is even thinking of quitting.  I say stick it right up the mean pricks and lets do our best.  The thing I liked the best was the crawling thru the darkness looking for bodies.  ole Terri ex AFP, done this thousands of times, he knows where the "body is"  and when I find doorways etc, he goes not there.  He said to me you are doing really well.  I dunno, me and my big mouth stated tonight, instead of holding hands (me and terry)_ we need ropes.  Then I get dagger looks from the cadets.  They all hate me 
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Lucinda
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« Reply #30 on: May 25, 2009, 11:30:36 AM »

manual Im doing 39 modules from..

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klaasend
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« Reply #31 on: May 25, 2009, 11:54:31 AM »

Reposted without personal information:   

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klaasend
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« Reply #32 on: May 25, 2009, 11:56:57 AM »

Lucinda - let me know if there's anything else you need edited or deleted.  I think I got all the personal info.  Unfortunately when you first posted I was at the store.
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Lucinda
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« Reply #33 on: May 25, 2009, 12:21:26 PM »

thanks klass for deleting my personal info, hope you guys all believe me, not that anyone hasnt, can you delete my posts about Rebecca.  She is gone.  Jeff is my son, and he makes me proud.
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Lucinda
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« Reply #34 on: May 25, 2009, 12:31:58 PM »

She was taken away, I had nfi what she looked like.  They dried my milk up with meds.  She was taken from me, never even saw her or cuddled her. 
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« Reply #35 on: May 25, 2009, 01:01:32 PM »

((HUGS)) Lucinda.  Let's try and keep this thread upbeat about your CFS training ok?
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Lucinda
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« Reply #36 on: May 25, 2009, 01:43:21 PM »

thanks, and I will.   an angelic monkey
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Lucinda
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« Reply #37 on: May 25, 2009, 02:02:32 PM »

Thanks Klaas, I had to get that out my system, and she is gone, its all OK.
CFS is really hard when you are a woman, Tonight I was shocked.  Lil 16 year old lads, laughing at me, just cos my boots were so  big.  If Jeff was here, they would not dare.  Lil wankers. 
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Lucinda
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« Reply #38 on: May 25, 2009, 02:18:26 PM »

I just have to get thru a gruelling 6 months.  I can do it. And I will.  Update next week.  I promise Klass I wont go off topic.  Yall believe in me?  All I need is you guys believe in me,  an angelic monkey
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MuffyBee
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« Reply #39 on: May 25, 2009, 02:24:25 PM »

You can do it, Lucinda   
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  " Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts."  - Daniel Moynihan
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