JSM'S BEGGING FOR BANNING THREAD #2

[mamacrazy30]

my friend used to live in Alaska....she says its a 13 hour plane trip but if ya wanna' drive (and right now is the time to do it before the ice comes) it takes about 2 weeks!

[mamacrazy30]

My neighbors just went to visit their inlaws.  They took all NINE of their children   

nine?  wow!  i feel overwhelmed with one at times....does the hubs still have all his hair?  i'm still shaking my head...NINE???

[Fanny Mae]

OH TEVYE, I am just coming back online after my own little meltdown. Words escape me now, but I promise not to yell at God or even say the word he77 right now. I know you are so devasated and now I want to eat junk food with you.

I can't even think of any boob jokes right now except we had a friend who's wife was very flat chested. He said she was the only woman that he ever knew that had two hole in her chest when she laid on her back.  Lame, I know. 

You will do what you have to do about this, and go on with your life. It's just putting one foot in front of the other and not thinking of the long haul, but just today. And the same tomorrow. And we will all be here for you, and you can lean on us. And you will be here for us when we need someone to lean on too.

Go on you Tadis trip or anything else you want to do. It is your life, so you decide how you want to live it. And the rest of it will just fall into place.

You were one of the first monkeys that welcomed me when I first showed up here, and you have taught me a lot about fortitude and humor. You will write your paper and will get an A+. Put your passion in it, girl!

I love and respect you and I hope you know it. Thank you for all the things you have knowingly done, and some things that you didn't even know that made an impression on me.

With much love to you, my friend. 

[islandmonkey]

 

Fanny~I'm trying to track you down woman Henry Cab Tice just named POI in case and has skipped town.........only WEAR reporting about it so far and will have more info at 6pm. Just as we suspected

[Fanny Mae]

Fanny~I'm trying to track you down woman Henry Cab Tice just named POI in case and has skipped town.........only WEAR reporting about it so far and will have more info at 6pm. Just as we suspected

Thanks! On the way!

[mamacrazy30]

who's in on starting a boob joke thread for Tevye?  good humor helps when you are in need (it helps me anyway)  today..geeze..i was angry at having to spend $70 on school supplies, little Robert is dead and Tevye has cancer...

[MuffyBee]

My neighbors just went to visit their inlaws.  They took all NINE of their children   

nine?  wow!  i feel overwhelmed with one at times....does the hubs still have all his hair?  i'm still shaking my head...NINE???

Yes, he has all of his nice, blonde hair.  Looks like a movie star.  He is one of eleven children himself.   Seven of the nine children are adopted, and his wife home schools them.  They are very well mannered children.  I don't really know how people do this stuff with that many children 

[islandmonkey]

OK, it's joke time. Ready?
Patient calls Dr's office, demanding results of her biospsy. Snotty patient even goes so far as to give "bitch" as her last name! Hours later, someone for doctor's office calls and says "Hey, good news! It's just a fatty tumor!" Patient does the happy dance, calls the only 7 people that she has shared her fears with, everyone is happy,  and "I'd Like to Buy The World A Coke" plays in the background. (Honest, the joke part is coming, I promise)

Fast forward 24 hours. Patient's DOCTOR calls, says "we have a problem we have to talk about". Patient immediately apologizes for screwing around with the staff by saying her last name is bitch. Patient is very scared that the doctor is gonna yell at her.

Well, Doc thinks that's funny and all, but we really do have a problem here. Seems that whomever called the patient yesterday did not check the date on the biopsy, and gave patient the results from the "old" biopsy! The new biopsy shows "invasive ductile cancer". Doc is very sorry about the screwup (according to the office staff, he was MAD MAD MAD!) and will meet with patient next week to discuss treatment. Patient thanks Doc for the 24 hours of peace and worry-less she just had (first in a month)....and wonders, still, does he think it's funny that patient's last name was bitch? He still thinks it's funny...but advises patient not to be alone today.

So, I guess the joke was on me. What's really funny is that even tho I now know I have cancer (and have a 10 page paper due tomorrow that I haven't even started!) I still think it's hilarious that I gave my last name as bitch!!!

due to the raunchy language, I didn't feel this belonged in the prayer thread. Also, due to the fact that I refuse to take this too seriously, it would be irreverent over there. Oh, crap! There's the "she-who-shall-not-be-named" factor, too! You guys would have every right to think I'm yanking your chains....crap, I wish I were. But, I'm not. Dammitall! I guess I could get a pic of the ultrasound or something.....

So, have at it with the boob jokes. Personally I've always thought mine were too big, so this could be a good thing in the end, right?

Oh T~I am so sorry.......but I can't imagine how hard it must be to have heard the wrong biopsy only to have to learn it is C. That being said I know at least 8 women personally who have kicked C's @ss and still are 5-20 yrs later. You have the right attitude and that's a huge part of the @ss kicking. I'm keeping you in my prayers no matter what you say

Also, I have used the name BITCH before at my last job when someone was giving me trouble about signing into a system, needless to say the *itch complained that I told her my name was Ms. Bitch and my manager had a "lil talk" with me.........

Hang in there and take it day by day We are all here for you

[mamacrazy30]

My neighbors just went to visit their inlaws.  They took all NINE of their children   

nine?  wow!  i feel overwhelmed with one at times....does the hubs still have all his hair?  i'm still shaking my head...NINE???

Yes, he has all of his nice, blonde hair.  Looks like a movie star.  He is one of eleven children himself.   Seven of the nine children are adopted, and his wife home schools them.  They are very well mannered children.  I don't really know how people do this stuff with that many children 

i want to be like those people when i grow up...

[joesamas mama]

OK, it's joke time. Ready?
Patient calls Dr's office, demanding results of her biospsy. Snotty patient even goes so far as to give "bitch" as her last name! Hours later, someone for doctor's office calls and says "Hey, good news! It's just a fatty tumor!" Patient does the happy dance, calls the only 7 people that she has shared her fears with, everyone is happy,  and "I'd Like to Buy The World A Coke" plays in the background. (Honest, the joke part is coming, I promise)

Fast forward 24 hours. Patient's DOCTOR calls, says "we have a problem we have to talk about". Patient immediately apologizes for screwing around with the staff by saying her last name is bitch. Patient is very scared that the doctor is gonna yell at her.

Well, Doc thinks that's funny and all, but we really do have a problem here. Seems that whomever called the patient yesterday did not check the date on the biopsy, and gave patient the results from the "old" biopsy! The new biopsy shows "invasive ductile cancer". Doc is very sorry about the screwup (according to the office staff, he was MAD MAD MAD!) and will meet with patient next week to discuss treatment. Patient thanks Doc for the 24 hours of peace and worry-less she just had (first in a month)....and wonders, still, does he think it's funny that patient's last name was bitch? He still thinks it's funny...but advises patient not to be alone today.

So, I guess the joke was on me. What's really funny is that even tho I now know I have cancer (and have a 10 page paper due tomorrow that I haven't even started!) I still think it's hilarious that I gave my last name as bitch!!!

due to the raunchy language, I didn't feel this belonged in the prayer thread. Also, due to the fact that I refuse to take this too seriously, it would be irreverent over there. Oh, crap! There's the "she-who-shall-not-be-named" factor, too! You guys would have every right to think I'm yanking your chains....crap, I wish I were. But, I'm not. Dammitall! I guess I could get a pic of the ultrasound or something.....

So, have at it with the boob jokes. Personally I've always thought mine were too big, so this could be a good thing in the end, right?

  Tevye, I am so sorry. But let me tell patient Bitch what to do, call back and say patient Bitch wants to see the doctor THIS WEEK! DO IT, Next week is not good enough. Please, even if they won't get you in this week, it will set your/my mind at ease. Hugs JSM

[Leroy]

Had to log back in to post this.  Let me preface by saying that I am a huge NASCAR fan ( I know everyone is laughing) what can I say?  But this just put me in another tizzy. Doesn't O have anything else to do on a Monday?

Rain delays Monday’s White House event for NASCAR
Aug 3, 1:37 pm EDT
 
WASHINGTON (AP)—The White House meeting between No. 44 and No. 48 will have to wait a few weeks, thanks to turf problems elsewhere.

Three-time defending Sprint Cup champion Jimmie Johnson was among a group of NASCAR drivers who were to be honored by President Barack Obama at the White House Monday. But steady rain postponed Sunday’s race at Pocono Raceway in Pennsylvania and that event was rescheduled for Monday.

White House spokesman Robert Gibbs says the meeting with Obama has been rescheduled for Aug. 19.

Johnson’s No. 48 Chevrolet was going to be parked at the White House.

HEY HEY HEY!!!  Jimmie is my main squeeze     Seriously Im a huge Jimmie Johnson fan (you should see my house!).  I'm sure he is being "forced" to do this   

[joesamas mama]

Had to log back in to post this.  Let me preface by saying that I am a huge NASCAR fan ( I know everyone is laughing) what can I say?  But this just put me in another tizzy. Doesn't O have anything else to do on a Monday?

Rain delays Monday’s White House event for NASCAR
Aug 3, 1:37 pm EDT
 
WASHINGTON (AP)—The White House meeting between No. 44 and No. 48 will have to wait a few weeks, thanks to turf problems elsewhere.

Three-time defending Sprint Cup champion Jimmie Johnson was among a group of NASCAR drivers who were to be honored by President Barack Obama at the White House Monday. But steady rain postponed Sunday’s race at Pocono Raceway in Pennsylvania and that event was rescheduled for Monday.

White House spokesman Robert Gibbs says the meeting with Obama has been rescheduled for Aug. 19.

Johnson’s No. 48 Chevrolet was going to be parked at the White House.

WTF? Seriously? First it was Tony Hawk skateboarding in the White House, are they going to get in the cars and do donuts in the Rose Garden? SORRY I AM PIZZED

[Fanny Mae]

Had to log back in to post this.  Let me preface by saying that I am a huge NASCAR fan ( I know everyone is laughing) what can I say?  But this just put me in another tizzy. Doesn't O have anything else to do on a Monday?

Rain delays Monday’s White House event for NASCAR
Aug 3, 1:37 pm EDT
 
WASHINGTON (AP)—The White House meeting between No. 44 and No. 48 will have to wait a few weeks, thanks to turf problems elsewhere.

Three-time defending Sprint Cup champion Jimmie Johnson was among a group of NASCAR drivers who were to be honored by President Barack Obama at the White House Monday. But steady rain postponed Sunday’s race at Pocono Raceway in Pennsylvania and that event was rescheduled for Monday.

White House spokesman Robert Gibbs says the meeting with Obama has been rescheduled for Aug. 19.

Johnson’s No. 48 Chevrolet was going to be parked at the White House.

WTF? Seriously? First it was Tony Hawk skateboarding in the White House, are they going to get in the cars and do donuts in the Rose Garden? SORRY I AM PIZZED

Don't forget about the beerfest summit in the rose garden, and the beaded portrait out front of the White House.   

[mamacrazy30]

First it was Tony Hawk skateboarding in the White House,

when did i miss this....i love skateboarding!

[mamacrazy30]

monkeys...i started the bewb thread...any bewb jokes you have...just no (really) dirty words....it's for Tevye...at least we can make her laugh

[Leroy]

WTF? Seriously? First it was Tony Hawk skateboarding in the White House, are they going to get in the cars and do donuts in the Rose Garden? SORRY I AM PIZZED

  

[Sassycat]

Tevye -   I'm really sorry about your news.     You'll be in my prayers.    Hugs.   

[no rose colored glasses]

Well I vote for the beaded portrait of Obama for his birthday, that wins tackiest prize for me 

[mamacrazy30]

Well I vote for the beaded portrait of Obama for his birthday, that wins tackiest prize for me 

i haven't seen it

[joesamas mama]

Tony Hawk Skates the White House

During A Rad Dad Event Yes, it happened. 

http://espn.go.com/action/skateboarding/blog?post=4272207