JSM'S BEGGING FOR BANNING THREAD # 5

[Northern Rose]

11 Things Wal-Mart Has Banned

Retail giant Wal-Mart is the world’s largest public company, and whether or not you’re a fan of shopping at the House that Sam Walton Built, you’ve got to admit that the store stocks just about everything. But not quite, though. There are a number of things that Wal-Mart has banned from its stores at some point. Let’s take a look at a few of them.

1. Barbie’s Pregnant PalIn 2002 Wal-Mart cleared its shelves of Barbie’s pregnant friend, Midge. The doll, which featured a removable stomach complete with deliverable baby, was part of Mattel’s “Happy Family” set that also included her husband and son. However, customers complained about seeing pregnancy enter into Barbie’s universe, and Wal-Mart pulled all of the Happy Family sets from its stores


MORE...


http://blogs.static.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/34728.html?cnn=yes?panties

[Fanny Mae]

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,559760,00.html
Baby Snatch Victim Loses Kids to State Custody

Sunday, October 04, 2009
NASHVILLE, Tenn. —  A mother whose newborn was kidnapped by a knife-wielding woman posing as an immigration agent was briefly reunited with her baby Saturday, then saw him and her three other children taken from her and put into state custody.

Good Morning Everyone! 

I am somewhat awake this morning, and moving around a little more. I've got a roast in the oven and collard greens cooking with ham. They were so good the other day, the family was asking for more. My son is going to peel the potatoes to go in the roast, along with the carrots. I'm not ready to peel a potato yet. 

Couldn't drag myself out of bed in time for church today. But I did watch Crystal Cathedral on TV and I wonder if that counts. 

I haven't read back except this story, and can't help but feel sorry for the mom on a mom level. She hardly had time to really bond with her baby boy, besides being all cut up while being assaulted. I think she may be illegal, JMO, but unless there was a filthy house, drugs, or some other reason, I think it was cruel to take all four of her children away. I think she must be really upset now. 

[Northern Rose]

In honour of the Wallyworld article

[Northern Rose]

 

[Fanny Mae]

Top 10 Reasons Chicago Didn't Get the Olympics
October 3 2009 at 5:36 PM
No score for this post   Anonymous  (no login)
10. Dead people can't vote at IOC meetings

9. Obama distracted by 25 min meeting with Gen. McChrystal

8. Who cares if Obama couldn't talk the IOC into Chicago? He'll be able to talk Iran out of nukes.

7. The impediment is Israel still building settlements.

5. We've been quite clear and said all along that we didn't want the Olympics.

4. This isn't about the number of Olympics "lost", it's about the number of Olympics "saved" or "created".

3. Clearly not enough wise Latina judges on the committee

2. Because the IOC is racist.

1. It's George Bush's fault.

[Fanny Mae]

In honour of the Wallyworld article

I just sent that to my son on Skype. He is in his bedroom doing homework. I am waiting for his laughter, as he is one of those that think farts are funny.   

[Northern Rose]

Fanny - glad to see you this morning.  Hope you start feeling better  Did you try the salmon cake recipe?

What a crappy weather day here, it snowed and rained last night.  I managed to get the front lawn vacuumed and bagged before the flurries started.  Really put a chill through the bones.  Hubby was playing with the snowblower all day yesterday.  No clue why as he can not use it because of his back and it is just too darn heavy for me to push around - I shovel everything unless there is a big dump, then my neighbours come and dig me out.

Geese have been gathering in the fields.  They are flying so low right now you can count the feathers on their butts.  I want to knock a few out of the air for thanksgiving next week   

Speaking of butt - love you pumpkin butt with guest owl!

[Northern Rose]

Hand gel faulted for fouling up Swedish bus service

Bus service in Östersund in northern Sweden has been disrupted due to an increased in the number of drivers using alcohol-based hand sanitizer.

As it turns out, the vapors from hands recently disinfected by the get are triggering built-in ignition locks designed to combat drunken driving.

"I know that this has happened in a case when the driver was unable to start the bus because of it; the bus was left standing for ten minutes," Micke Bernervall, CEO of local operator Stadsbusserna told local newspaper Länstidningen Östersund.

The alcohol-based sanitizers have been broadly touted as the first line of defence against the spread of the swine flu and have become a regular feature of waiting rooms and offices across Sweden in recent months.

However a spate of fires to person and property in the past fortnight have illustrated the dangers of the disinfectant, and now city bus services have also suffered unlikely disruption as the flu takes its toll in unforeseen ways.

"We took a company decision to not provide the sanitizers to the drivers in our buses. It is not a good idea," Bernervall said.

He added however that drivers looking to stop the spread of the flu and protect themselves from infection are entitled to take along their own supplies.


MORE.....

http://www.thelocal.se/22406/20091001/#

[Northern Rose]

 

[Northern Rose]

Very cool billboard

[Northern Rose]

 

[Northern Rose]

 

[Fanny Mae]

Top 10 Reasons Chicago Didn't Get the Olympics
October 3 2009 at 5:36 PM
No score for this post   Anonymous  (no login)
10. Dead people can't vote at IOC meetings

9. Obama distracted by 25 min meeting with Gen. McChrystal

8. Who cares if Obama couldn't talk the IOC into Chicago? He'll be able to talk Iran out of nukes.

7. The impediment is Israel still building settlements.

5. We've been quite clear and said all along that we didn't want the Olympics.

4. This isn't about the number of Olympics "lost", it's about the number of Olympics "saved" or "created".

3. Clearly not enough wise Latina judges on the committee

2. Because the IOC is racist.

1. It's George Bush's fault.

[Northern Rose]

WHEN YOU SHOULD NEVER FART:
1. Inside a crowded Lift.
2. Inside a public library.
3. On a crowded train.
4. Whilst giving a speech.
5. In Church.
6. Whilst on a date.
7. In a packed lecture theatre.
8. In your office.
9. At a cinema.
10. In a walk-in freezer - it'll linger a while
11. In a ticket line.
13. On an airplane.
14. During confession
15. In the bed, whilst feeling frisky.
16. In bed when you're feeling frisky
17. While fighting fire in a burning building
19. In a patrol car for a minor violation

WHEN TO FART:
1. Bosses office as you are about to leave. - best to make sure it's silent but violent.
2. In a bathroom.
3. In the cashiers line - it's bound to speed things up.
4. The empty elevator before you get off.
5. Beside an occupied dressing room - no doubt it'll quickly become unnocupied.
6. Your co-workers cubicle at the office.
7. When deep sea diving.
8. Back seat of the Police Mobile after being arrested.
9. In your car if you've been carjacked.
10. During a pie eating competition to distract your competitors.

[Northern Rose]

Two guys are in a locker room when one notices the other has a cork up his butt. He says, "How'd you get a cork in your butt?"

The other guy says, "I was walking along the beach and tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a Big Fella in a turban came oozing out. He said, "I am Tonto, Indian Genie. I can grant you one wish."

And I said, "No sh*t."

[Northern Rose]

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

[Northern Rose]

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.

The Russians used a pencil.

[Northern Rose]

A man walks into a bar and notices his friend sitting alone staring at a tiny man on the table playing the piano.
"Wow, look how small he is, where did you get him?!" Says the man.
"Oh, well there's this genie round the back of bar, and he grants you whatever wish you want."
Sure enough, the man goes round the back of the bar and there sits a genie.
"You grant wishes right?"
"Yes." replies the genie.
"Hmm, I'd like a million bucks."
Then, out of nowhere, a million ducks appear, and waddle behind the annoyed man as he goes back into the bar.
"Look, that genie gave me ducks instead of bucks!"
His friends sitting at the table replies,
"Well yeah, do you really think I asked for a twelve inch pianist?"

[Fanny Mae]

Fanny - glad to see you this morning.  Hope you start feeling better  Did you try the salmon cake recipe?

What a crappy weather day here, it snowed and rained last night.  I managed to get the front lawn vacuumed and bagged before the flurries started.  Really put a chill through the bones.  Hubby was playing with the snowblower all day yesterday.  No clue why as he can not use it because of his back and it is just too darn heavy for me to push around - I shovel everything unless there is a big dump, then my neighbours come and dig me out.

Geese have been gathering in the fields.  They are flying so low right now you can count the feathers on their butts.  I want to knock a few out of the air for thanksgiving next week   

Speaking of butt - love you pumpkin butt with guest owl!

Thanks, I love the little owl too, but I think he draws too much attention to my butt!   

I can't remember what we had that night, as it was the night my back was screaming so. I think my son brought home seafood platters from Captain D's. I still have my salmon, and I will use you recipe when I make them.

My son said he wants one of those t-shirts. He hates for people to crowd him in the checkout line, and has been known to.........nevermind.   

I was going to ask if the snow has finally hit. I wish so bad I could get a good radar link like we have down here in your area. I have a hard time reading the one you sent me. But I am sure it is cold and getting colder there. We have had frost a couple of days, but we still have a lot of green and hardly any leaf change yet. But its clearly coming. We have the windows open today but it won't be long. We haven't yet put up the storm door on the front yet either.

Do you have Canadian Geese? We have tons of them here, and they have the run of the place. It's illegal to feed them or to kill one, and they make themselves at home anywhere they want to.   

[Fanny Mae]

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.

The Russians used a pencil.

Sometimes the simplest answer is the best.