justinsmama's family's roller coaster ride with Mom

[justinsmama]

Up at the moment. Came home to shower while I have a chance!

[Kat_Gram]

My Mum was in intensive for I think 5 to 6 days. Short little visits only.
One at a time.Then she went to a step down cardio ward. We just kept telling her that we still needed her.
Her memory of all this was strange afterwards.
She had ativan also.
Also tons of pain killers ..morphine I think.
Glad that her signs are good.
Later, she did a living will thing. When she was home and better.

[bleachedblack]

Hi Justins , found my way over here. Don't really know my was around the lounge.  But will keep watching for updates on Mom's condition.  

[justinsmama]

Words cannot express how much everyone's support means to me, whether through their own stories, medical info, or prayers and love.

Got that much needed shower in and will be going back to the hospital shortly. Trying to launder between visits. I need a group of cleaning faeries or something.

[justinsmama]

Gotten SIL out for now. Hope brother understands that she needs to stay away. She wanted to go in with the 5 of us to talk to Mom. Brother told her no, just Mom's children. She sulked. Before the big session with Mom, SIL came into Mom's room while I was in there. Started inching toward the bed. I politely asked her if I could have some time alone with Mom. She left, then brother took her to her family. SIL truly is like a very young child. Her judgement has been impaired for some time. Brother babies her, which is his loving right, but not at Mother's expense.

[justinsmama]

rats, forgot to answer question about need for scan. They said it was a routine follow up. Stats had been acceptable until they removed the BIPAP. HR went all to hell. Nurse is gonna see if doc can get results earlier than Tuesday, per our request.

[bleachedblack]

rats, forgot to answer question about need for scan. They said it was a routine follow up. Stats had been acceptable until they removed the BIPAP. HR went all to hell. Nurse is gonna see if doc can get results earlier than Tuesday, per our request.

Still can't really figure out what the scan was for. Maybe it was a CAT SCan of abdomen to make sure things look OK ie no collection of fluid/ abscess whatever......if she is doing better by morning, maybe they will start to take her off BIPAP for intervals of time as tolerated. That would be good......

[bleachedblack]

Gotten SIL out for now. Hope brother understands that she needs to stay away. She wanted to go in with the 5 of us to talk to Mom. Brother told her no, just Mom's children. She sulked. Before the big session with Mom, SIL came into Mom's room while I was in there. Started inching toward the bed. I politely asked her if I could have some time alone with Mom. She left, then brother took her to her family. SIL truly is like a very young child. Her judgement has been impaired for some time. Brother babies her, which is his loving right, but not at Mother's expense.

You are right! and SIL is lucky to have found your brother.  

[justinsmama]

From what I understand, it was a CAT or CT? scan.

Sat a bit with her. She started moaning and opened her eyes. Asked if she were in pain. She said uhhuh. Got nurse to press button for morphine. Sat with her until pain subsided and she could go back to sleep. Told her that mask will come off when she can breathe deeply enough on her own, and that she is progressing. Vitals still very good. HR averaging 100 bpm. Still 100.8 temp. I truly hope they can safely take the damn thing off of her tomorrow.

[justinsmama]

Convinced chicken #, I mean brother #2 to sit with her. Want someone there to note if she moans or otherwise may be in pain. I'm oncall, and cannot take cell phone into ICU area. So only brief visits from me.

[bleachedblack]

From what I understand, it was a CAT or CT? scan.

Sat a bit with her. She started moaning and opened her eyes. Asked if she were in pain. She said uhhuh. Got nurse to press button for morphine. Sat with her until pain subsided and she could go back to sleep. Told her that mask will come off when she can breathe deeply enough on her own, and that she is progressing. Vitals still very good. HR averaging 100 bpm. Still 100.8 temp. I truly hope they can safely take the damn thing off of her tomorrow.

I hope they can take it off too. Even for short (2-3 )hour intervals. Everything else sounds good. I am glad she is getting some sleep.

[Frijole]

Justins.. just here to cheer you on and let you know you aren't alone.  I'm praying.  And congrats on not smoking.  If you have gone thru this without lighting up  - you can do it forever.  PERIOD.  Way to go girl.

Hugs to both you and the J man.

[LouiseVargas]

Justins,

I am with you on this journey you are traveling. I've had two previous journeys. And I understand what it's like to deal with life illnesses and suddenly have a whipping wind come out of nowhere to blow more debris into your face.

My friend, you are in a heightened state of emotion at the moment. You didn't ask me but I'd recommend you embrace it fully and commit it to memory or to your heart. Down the line, you will be able to help others when you think back on how your mom's illness affected you.

What's up with your SIL? I'm dancing with words here so as not to offend you. Why exclude anyone? Can your precious mother have TOO MUCH love and support? I'm sure her soul would recognize and welcome everyone who was part of her life.

Sorry if I overstepped boundaries. I wish you and Justins the best.

[justinsmama]

Louise~ No offense taken at all. SIL has Huntington's disease. It causes degeneration of the brain cells in certain parts of the brain. SIL has dementia because of it, which severely impairs her judgement. In many ways, she is like a 2-3 year old child. She simply cannot understand that her behavior can be detrimental to others. She means well, but we had to intervene for our mother's sake. Mom is in a lot of pain, very weak, and her tolerance for anything more is gone. DIL simply would not leave her alone. She insisted on staying last night, while my brother went back to the hotel. My niece spent the entire night trying to keep SIL from banging Mom's bed (involuntary movements from the Huntington's) and to stop touching her. The touching and bed banging disturbed Mother. Finally, at 5 am my niece woke my sister to manage SIL.  Then today SIL had slipped into Mom's room unnoticed, and was touching her face, banging the bed and literally hovering over her. Mom became very agitated, tried to pull off the mask and her heart rate shot up even further. SIL was resistive to leaving, and my sister made her, telling her that she was in charge and SIL would do as she (sister) said. No one wants to hurt SIL's feelings, but Mother is the issue now, not SIL.

[justinsmama]

Bean~ I gotta stay off the cigs. What is going on with my mother is the very reason. If I do not stop abusing my body, then I will suffer consequences similar to what she has. She smoked from the time she was 13 years old until 5 years ago. It took its toll on her heart and lungs, and even before this mess she has been having difficulty for several years. While dshe has managed to remain independent, it has been hard for her to not be able to do what she once did with ease.

Louise~ I am trying to embrace what I am experiencing. It is a bit harder to do when Justin is with me, as he needs for me to be strong. And Mom does too when I am with her. I've been able to embrace this since Justin went with his dad last night. He will return home late tomorrow night. I surely hope that I have good news for him. He is fiercely protective of his grandmother.

Mom has so many people pulling for her! Even monkeys of which she has no idea they exist! LOL! And Louise, being able to post here is so very helpful to me in embracing this dreadful experience.

[BTgirl]

Justinsmama,

I'm going to give you some unwanted advice that's going to sound weird, but it's worked for me more than once in the past when dealing with crisis situations.

Have a talk with God and tell him sincerely that you're willing to accept what's best, whatever that is. Then know in your own mind that you really mean that and will do it.

I have had horrible crisis situations take a turn for the better almost instantly when I've been able to do that.

You have many, many monkey friends who love you and are pulling for you and your family. Hang in there.

[LouiseVargas]

Oh, Justin's, forgive me. I had no clue about SIL's condition. You will be in my thoughts.

You are in what is called "The Sandwich Generation." You are squeezed between taking care of your children and taking care of your parents. Not to mention the attention Justin needs.

[justinsmama]

Dearest Louise~ I was not offended in any manner by your questions. Forgiveness not needed, okay friend?

BT~ I did that at least once today. Just before we were going to have the talk with Mom about her wishes. I went into the room, saw her vitals were better and she seemed at peace, got rid of poor SIL, sat holding Mom's hand and...

Asked God to show us His plan and for us to accept it, whatever it may be. Siblings came in and Mom was more interested in sleep than talking with us. LOL! Everyone came out of that room smiling and very hopeful over the newly improved vitals.

I also dragged evryone to the waiting room's computer and made them read Bleached's posts. They liked what (s)he (?) had to say about it all.  They also liked Bleached's hair.     Sick bunch, ain't they?    

[justinsmama]

Sister just called. THE MASK IS OFF! Whoohoo! Dunno for how long but it is off!

[BTgirl]

Yay!! Woo Hoo!!!!!!!!!!!