Lively Case Discussion #565 12/25 - 12/27/2006

[sb]

Somehow I knew our Monkeys would understand. Thanks guys!

[tcumom]

sb ~ I am sad to hear your holidays have been difficult ~ I don't know what's going on with you/family or whatever.......please know that I care about all the monkeys, and I will say prayers for you and think positive thoughts ....... many hugs, and a better year to come for you  

[Tylergal]

http://www.radionz.co.nz/news/latest/200612261629/ethiopian_jets_strike_somali_airports

[crazybabyborg]

CBB, your turkey pictures and your sighting was so much fun to read about.  It just seemed almost miraculous to hear about something like that.  All I had was a stray cat that tried to beat up on Cecile when I let her out to potty.  I need a dog in addition to a face lift.

You are such a jewel. Tyler! You've got a sharp dry wit, that I really enjoy! Takes a sharp cookie to pull that off!  

I had the same feeling that you mentioned as those turkeys just came up in the yard one by one, and kept coming!

I kinda felt like God was wishing me Merry Christmas, and remembering me as I was remembering Him!

[IBE]

Thank you tcumom

Just turned it on. One of my favorite movies from HS or so.[/b]

[sb]

Yes, a better year is definitely NEEDED, that's for sure. It doesn't seem like a year could get any worse than the one I just finished.

Thanks y'all for your comments.

[crazybabyborg]

Somehow I knew our Monkeys would understand. Thanks guys!

The Christmas' of our youth set a really high standard that we used to take for granted. Those Christmas's aren't a given anymore, and the comparison is almost inherant, unintentional, for sure, but it can make difficultiy turn into crisis. It's very real, sb. It's real pain.

Christmas with loss is not for sissys!

[Florida]

Hi everyone,

Hope y'all had a great day. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers tonight, I have had a really difficult Christmas this year and I know now how it can be when that happens to people. I usually enjoy Christmas thoroughly but it's been so overshadowed by things that I can't...

I feel for others that have gone through, or are going through, the same thing.

I'll be back tomorrow evening.

SB: My initials are SBH....

I think I know how you feel....
"This Too Shall Pass"

[mishy]

CBB, your turkey pictures and your sighting was so much fun to read about.  It just seemed almost miraculous to hear about something like that.  All I had was a stray cat that tried to beat up on Cecile when I let her out to potty.  I need a dog in addition to a face lift.

       

[Tylergal]

Yes, a better year is definitely NEEDED, that's for sure. It doesn't seem like a year could get any worse than the one I just finished.

Thanks y'all for your comments.

Sb, I am very concerned about you.  This is not like you to seem so dismal at a precious time of year like this, the birth of the Lord, and you as a believer, have to know this is a wonderful time.  Did you attend Christmas Eve services last night?  They were so beautiful.  It just gave me an uplifted feeling.  I am so sorry you are down.  I wish something I could say or do would make you feel better.  If so, by all means, let me know.  I hope you know you have friends here, and I hope you count me among those.

[mishy]

Somehow I knew our Monkeys would understand. Thanks guys!

Prayers for you Sb...I'm sorry you've had a hard Christmas!! {{{HUGS}}}

[Elaine]

Yes, a better year is definitely NEEDED, that's for sure. It doesn't seem like a year could get any worse than the one I just finished.

Thanks y'all for your comments.

Sb, you are More than welcome! I don't know your sorrow or how deep it is, but I do remember that your Folks were in an accident not to long ago. I hope they are ok! My Mother was thrown across a moving bus in November. She ended up with a broken hip, which she IS healing pretty well from now. I have been running back and forth to try and help out when I can. Yesterday, she still wanted her children there. She is frail and walking w/a walker. Not quite the woman we all saw just last Christmas, so strong and independent. She lost her temper yesterday a few times snapping at us all for little things! She apologized at the end of the nite and said she felt stupid. I told her to "knock it off" with the apologies and that she is allowed to express her greif. Somehow, I guess i feel lucky that she is not worse off I guess. Some Monkeys have lost their Parents (My Dad is long gone) and some have parents in the hospital. It is NOT easy, but I am glad for everyone here as it does seem to help, the way we care about each other here! I just hope that whatever has your heart heavy, somehow knowing we are here with our ears and hearts open for one another, helps each one of you here as it does me.

[BIGORANGECRUSH]

Nite Monks!!

[mishy]

Night BOC. I'm right behind ya. Gotta turn out all the Christmas lights and grab something else to eat and get ready for bed. My thoughts and prayers are with each and everyone of you, especially Natalee and her family...

[sb]

All I can really say is... it is far easier to deal with other people's physical problems, than it is to deal with (and put up with) their emotional problems.

My family has deep, difficult, complicated emotional problems that are just compounded by their physical fallout from the recent accident. I really strive to rise above all that, but it's almost impossible to escape. I would almost rather be alone, EVEN AT CHRISTMAS, than have to deal with emotional cripples who baby one another and take out their frustrations on everyone else. And who manipulate and seek to control others for their own selfish, self-centered reasons.

[Tylergal]

I rarely if ever discuss my "real" disappointments in life and when I do, I try to be sober about it.  I lost my mother near Christmastime a few years back and I still miss her and something happened to me this Christmas that really brought all that loss of her back to me like a roller coaster rushing downhill that would not stop.  It was a monetary loss.  It was a lot of money but what I really lost was trust in another human being.  I trusted someone with real property that both my mother and brother, (and especially my husband) asked me not to do.  This person, I felt, needed a chance, another chance in life.  Given the new-found sobriety and clean lifestyle, I entrusted a relative with my mother's property.  I even shared that he (having helped me care for my mother in her waning years) was going to do what was right.  My DH kept telling me I needed to take a closer look at things.  I gave him half my land and real property in Virginia.  He took out a second mortgage on it.  It is going to be in foreclosure if I do not bail him out and my DH is telling me not to, that the land is not that important, that I made the decision and to let it go.  It's a lot of money for me.  It was property my mother trusted me to take care of.  I thought she would appreciate that I did, what she had taught me, to trust people, to be good to people, to give someone another chance, to turn the other cheek.  Now, I have misplaced my trust and either will lose a lot of money retaking this as I can with my brother who is an attorney or I can let it go and just call it the end of a chapter.  I do not know what my mother would want me to do.  My husband wants me to call it a good experience and let it go.  That's hard, but he thinks I am throwing money in on top of money and even with my brother stepping in to save it for me, it is still buying back at a higher price than I should have to pay but it was a family member and I thought he would want to keep it in the family.  I am really upset that this happened, but see we all have our thorns in our sides.  My BIL who lives in that area is a banker and I have a brother who is an attorney and I am sure we could work this out, but if I pay it off and bail him out, I have theoretically bought back my own land which I would like to have but DH says it is too high a price and to just let it go.  My brother feels that I am too emotionally attached to the land and my hurt is more pride than anything else.

[tcumom]

Tyler ~ First of all, I'm so, so sorry about your situation....what a mess, and disappointment.

Have you all helped this family member before?  Bailed him out of trouble, given money or whatever?  Maybe he *thinks/knows* you'll come to the rescue again....even if this time it's to buy back your own land?

I guess the question is.....is it the land itself, or your promise to your Mother that is causing the indecision as to what to do.....hope this makes sense.

[Tylergal]

Yes, TCUM, you are right on all counts.  I have bailed him out many times because he was always nice to my mother.  Perhaps he was a better con artist than I knew but he did help her immensely and I felt like I could give him the land and it would give him something to have some pride in, something to care for and he had quit drinking a few years ago and was working regularly, but yes, I have bailed him out before and my DH tells me not this time, although he knows it will be up to me if I do.  I just wish I were not sentimentally attached to the land, where I rode horses, helped my grandmother garden.  My husband keeps telling me if you give someone a gift, you cut the ribbons to it and that means you let it go, because it is a gift and after you give it up, you have no voice and no choice in it, but it hurts.

[Carnut]

Tyler looks like it comes down to how much you want to  punish the errant relative or how bad you want the land back.

[Elaine]

From what the two of you just poured your hearts out about , I found a common thread. Two different situations, but a commonality in both situations. Hurt feelings due to others selfishness. And I have been there several times myself , it is no fun. We extend ourselves to those we care about in life and just hope that they would be as courteous to our emotional needs. (tyler I know you said it is also money in your case) But I also hear "between the lines" it isn't even so much the money, this person broke your heart. Someone has hurt Sb the same way, but in a different situation. And,having been there myself I know how painful it is when people do not treat us the way we would treat them, especially when it is people we care so much about. It hurts a lot!!..... Somehow, we always come out better people in the long run though we may not know it right away. This is why I love all the people here so much. This forum really does have the good hearted people who care   more about others even than themselves, that is why we care about Natalee too and what drew us to this forum. We care, we all care, and in the long run.... that is all that matters. I hope things get better, because you all deserve that!