Begging for Ban Thread #11

[no rose colored glasses]

Tevye you will love your new tv, over the years I found buying something for me and only me is nice  If Digger gets a turkey we can all have turkey dinner tonight 

[no rose colored glasses]

Hi Mission  JSM how is Josef doing 

[joesamas mama]

So, monks, I have a ethical/moral question. If you knew that someone was going to die within the next 12-24 hours (verified by hospice nurses) would you make sure that someone was not left alone? Or would you just let nature take its course? I believe the patient was non-responsive for most of his last day.....

(And ain't that a cheery question to wake up to????) Sorry, this has been bugging me since yesterday, and I need other's input. Not so much to validate my position, but to hear other's opinions. Perhaps change my mind....

I would want to be with the loved one. For many reasons. You started you thought they were non-responsive for most of the day. From my personal experience and my opinion although they might seem that way, I believe they know you are there. It's a hard call and some have a difficult time being there when they pass. I would pray when my time comes my family is with me.
Prayers to you.

Thanks, darla, banana and GreenEyes. You've all confirmed what I thought. The person in question was my BIL, married to Bad Sister. She couldn't be bothered to stay with him, and it hurts my heart to know he was alone. I couldn't be there (grandkid duty), and it wasn't my PLACE to be there...but I think it was hers. Now I'm just gonna have to get over it, and save this discussion for the next time I spend the night at her house and she's all boozed up and she and I can tell the TRUTH to each other. I think (hope) she's feeling guilty, and so for that, I won't fault her. But if she's full of excuses why she should have been out drinking with her friends...well, that I'm gonna have a hard time with.

I have been with folks when they've died. I know that right up until the last second, they're still "there", and I know hearing and touch are the last sensations to go. I hate for people to be scared...I hope he wasn't scared.

Tevye, that is so sad. I hope he wasn't scared either. I will pray for him and your sister. 

[joesamas mama]

Hi Mission  JSM how is Josef doing 

Hi No Rose, Josef is still at school. We didn't get home until midnight, so I am going to get dressed, eat lunch with my skating friends then pick him up before 2:00. 

[no rose colored glasses]

Hi Mission  JSM how is Josef doing 

Hi No Rose, Josef is still at school. We didn't get home until midnight, so I am going to get dressed, eat lunch with my skating friends then pick him up before 2:00. 

Sounds good, he will be thrilled     Tevye I know what you mean about not buying for yourself and doing it for your kids instead. I have always been like that, put myself last, I try not to anymore. Even with me wanting to relax or take a nap during the day, I wouldn't, always something to do, not anymore, I have now taken a nap for the past three days, and if something didn't get done for someone, I don't care.

[joesamas mama]

Thanks for all your input. I think it's only humane to have one's hand held as one passes over.  But, everyone must do what they think is best, and I know I better keep my mouth shut on this one until bad sis asks my opinion. I'll sugarcoat it, cos she is my sis, but I will tell her the truth.

And, to carry on this bright and cheerful subject, one of my nephews saw me at Christmas. I was making all kinds of jokes about cancer ("do you have any idea how much money I'm saving on hair conditioner? Be sure and put this pic of me and DH with deer antlers on our heads on my headstone....") and my poor nephew thought I was really really sick and contacted his brother and said "Is she sicker than we thought?" Poor thing! I had to write his wife a letter and explain my wicked morbid sense of humor (which, in our family, goes with the territory!) and reassure them all that I'm not going anywhere soon! Poor kids! I guess I better not joke around about it anymore. Carp, I was having fun with it! Cancer gets you: an iPod Classic, your own pink bedroom, awesome scarves, naps whenever you need them, some sympathy from DH, but not enough to spoil me...there are all kinds of plusses. But for the kids, I better lay off!

Now, today, I'm gonna go spend my Christmas money on a new flatscreen TV. I don't really need one, and could better send the money to the doctors, but darn it, I've given away every cent that anyone has given me this year (paying it forward for kids) and this time, I'm gonnna use it for me! Oh, I feel so selfishly wickedly good!!!

Spend that money on yourself and keep the humor up as well. Your humor Tevye shows that you are dealing with it in your own way and don't change that. 

[joesamas mama]

Hi Mission  JSM how is Josef doing 

Hi No Rose, Josef is still at school. We didn't get home until midnight, so I am going to get dressed, eat lunch with my skating friends then pick him up before 2:00. 

Sounds good, he will be thrilled     Tevye I know what you mean about not buying for yourself and doing it for your kids instead. I have always been like that, put myself last, I try not to anymore. Even with me wanting to relax or take a nap during the day, I wouldn't, always something to do, not anymore, I have now taken a nap for the past three days, and if something didn't get done for someone, I don't care.

I hope he is thrilled, I am the one that is going to be glad to see him.

Glad you have had a nap for the past three days. You deserve it, I wish I could take a nap sometimes, but Joe won't let me. 

[joesamas mama]

Turkey anyone?    This is Digger's challenge for today.He is going crazy.     They were outside my window in the den. 

Morning Trimm. Go get em Digger!

[joesamas mama]

Good evening monkeys. I just got home about 10 minutes ago. Just wanted to say hey and I missed the cage today and thank God for a safe trip home. 

Glad you made it home safe JSM  Josef is going to be happy when he sees you 

Hi Mission. Thanks, I'm glad to be home, but I would kill for a cup of coffee right now.

[joesamas mama]

Thanks for all your input. I think it's only humane to have one's hand held as one passes over.  But, everyone must do what they think is best, and I know I better keep my mouth shut on this one until bad sis asks my opinion. I'll sugarcoat it, cos she is my sis, but I will tell her the truth.

And, to carry on this bright and cheerful subject, one of my nephews saw me at Christmas. I was making all kinds of jokes about cancer ("do you have any idea how much money I'm saving on hair conditioner? Be sure and put this pic of me and DH with deer antlers on our heads on my headstone....") and my poor nephew thought I was really really sick and contacted his brother and said "Is she sicker than we thought?" Poor thing! I had to write his wife a letter and explain my wicked morbid sense of humor (which, in our family, goes with the territory!) and reassure them all that I'm not going anywhere soon! Poor kids! I guess I better not joke around about it anymore. Carp, I was having fun with it! Cancer gets you: an iPod Classic, your own pink bedroom, awesome scarves, naps whenever you need them, some sympathy from DH, but not enough to spoil me...there are all kinds of plusses. But for the kids, I better lay off!

Now, today, I'm gonna go spend my Christmas money on a new flatscreen TV. I don't really need one, and could better send the money to the doctors, but darn it, I've given away every cent that anyone has given me this year (paying it forward for kids) and this time, I'm gonnna use it for me! Oh, I feel so selfishly wickedly good!!!

Personally I don't think anyone should die alone, I truly believe that part of the fear of dying is to be alone and not surrounded by those who love you and support you.  I lost a sister (she was very young) although she was very sick and in a coma and on a vent we were told that she knew we were there - they are stimulated by touch and feel your presence.  I hope your sister didn't do something she will regret later - guilt has a way of sneaking up on you.  She is fortunate to have you as a sister who is willing to talk with her about it and be honest about your feelings.  It is hard to find balance using your wit and humor when younger loved ones are around - they don't have enough wisdom to understand our humor is a sort of coping mechanism. Don't loose your sense of humor.   

On a lighter note I am glad you feel wickedly good and damn get the nicest TV money can buy. 

AMEN!! 

[joesamas mama]

Tevye you will love your new tv, over the years I found buying something for me and only me is nice  If Digger gets a turkey we can all have turkey dinner tonight 

    Turkey and dressing. Yumm

[joesamas mama]

Okay monkeys.  Going to get in the bath, grab some coffee because my coffee pot is now broken and go eat some lunch. Hopefully when I get back I will be caught up on all I missed this past week.

Have a great day! Luv JSM

[Green Eyes]

Okay monkeys.  Going to get in the bath, grab some coffee because my coffee pot is now broken and go eat some lunch. Hopefully when I get back I will be caught up on all I missed this past week.

Have a great day! Luv JSM

Welcome Home JSM    Glad you made it home save and sound.

[mymonkey]

So, monks, I have a ethical/moral question. If you knew that someone was going to die within the next 12-24 hours (verified by hospice nurses) would you make sure that someone was not left alone? Or would you just let nature take its course? I believe the patient was non-responsive for most of his last day.....

(And ain't that a cheery question to wake up to????) Sorry, this has been bugging me since yesterday, and I need other's input. Not so much to validate my position, but to hear other's opinions. Perhaps change my mind....

Tevye,

From my own experience I was the only one with both of my parents when they went to heaven, and I feel honored to have been there and I do think they knew I was with them,because now I feel they are with me.

[no rose colored glasses]

So, monks, I have a ethical/moral question. If you knew that someone was going to die within the next 12-24 hours (verified by hospice nurses) would you make sure that someone was not left alone? Or would you just let nature take its course? I believe the patient was non-responsive for most of his last day.....

(And ain't that a cheery question to wake up to????) Sorry, this has been bugging me since yesterday, and I need other's input. Not so much to validate my position, but to hear other's opinions. Perhaps change my mind....

Tevye,

From my own experience I was the only one with both of my parents when they went to heaven, and I feel honored to have been there and I do think they knew I was with them,because now I feel they are with me.

That is wonderful, my mom I wasn't able to be with, my dad wanted me to wait until they moved her to another hospital in Milwaukee, she passed before that happened, and I could get there. I carried anger over that for a very long time, but have realized, I feel her with me, and one of her rosaries I keep with me that helps also.

[darla]

Good Afternoon Monkeys.

I made it back from Sam's in one piece. Lost my cool a few times, but that is just me and crowds who use a store for a family reunion and block access to what I am looking for.
I blew my Christmas money on some news clothes for me, and hit Hobby Lobby and got me some new crystal beads to make jewelry. Got my granddaughter's Birthday present for the 7th and my sisters on the 6th.
Has anyone ever added memory to a hard drive?  The instructions look simple. So I might try it myself.

[no rose colored glasses]

Good Afternoon Monkeys.

I made it back from Sam's in one piece. Lost my cool a few times, but that is just me and crowds who use a store for a family reunion and block access to what I am looking for.
I blew my Christmas money on some news clothes for me, and hit Hobby Lobby and got me some new crystal beads to make jewelry. Got my granddaughter's Birthday present for the 7th and my sisters on the 6th.
Has anyone ever added memory to a hard drive?  The instructions look simple. So I might try it myself.

Can't answer any computer questions, wish I could  I've never been in a Sam's before, but if it is anything like Costco, my temper would be not good. Between reunions in the aisles, and kids screaming and crying, I need a xanax just to go in one. Hobby Lobby, my mom use to like to get things there, I don't think I've ever been in one before.

[darla]

I was with an aunt when she passed away, we got the call that she had gone into a coma and it was a 60 mile drive in the middle of the night. When we got there she was almost gone. The nurse called my aunts name, no response. I leaned over her and said Auntie Marie and she opened her eyes and looked straight at me. She passed away within the next 10 minutes. And my grandpa had been deaf since my Mom was just a little girl, and right before he died he could hear again. My mom said something there in his room about Daddy, and he turned his head toward her and said what?

It just breaks my heart for someone to die all alone. 

[darla]

I went to Walmarts late yesterday and it was a mad house. And they only had about 4 registers open. I was so aggravated when i got out of there I could have killed someone with my bare hands.

[darla]

Oh forgot....WELCOME HOME JSM. Hope you had a good time.