JSM's BEGGING FOR BAN THREAD #13 2/13/10 -

[Northern Rose]

 

[Northern Rose]

I am heading to bed.  Really tired today.  Sorry JSM.  Hope NBC goes back to skating for you.

[joesamas mama]

I guess my kids will not be doing much learning tomorrow as they will be in the gym watching the hockey game.

Nothing wrong with that Northern. What is one day? Do they get to watch the curling too while at school?

I don't know.  They got to watch the Woman's hockey game today and I know for sure that every school and office will have TV's and watching the Russia game tomorrow since it starts at noon. 

Well they are learning something at least. They can learn geography (point to Russia on a map), math (add up the score), politics (Russia once was Communist, now don't know), extra points if they can guess who Vladimir Putin is. 

[joesamas mama]

JSM has NBC gone back to skating yet?

No not yet. Thanks for the picture of the Uzbek skater. She is really cute. I just came back from outside. Josef is having belly problems tonight. Never ever fails when I am trying to watch skating, he is sick.

Aw, so sorry Josef isn't well.  Poor baby.

Thanks, if it isn't one end it is the other. 

[joesamas mama]

I am heading to bed.  Really tired today.  Sorry JSM.  Hope NBC goes back to skating for you.

Nite Northern. Thanks for the pics of Elene G!! I am going to check her marks. I really think she is a beautiful skater.

[MindOnFire]

I am heading to bed.  Really tired today.  Sorry JSM.  Hope NBC goes back to skating for you.

Nite Northern. Thanks for the pics of Elene G!! I am going to check her marks. I really think she is a beautiful skater.

Good night, Northern.

[joesamas mama]

  NBC SUCKS!!!!!! I hate them.

[MindOnFire]

NBC SUCKS!!!!!! I hate them.

If it makes you feel any better, I have a satellite dish and can't get anything else, either.

[MindOnFire]

CNBC has hockey, msnbc has curling.  Why is that even a sport?

[joesamas mama]

NBC SUCKS!!!!!! I hate them.

If it makes you feel any better, I have a satellite dish and can't get anything else, either.

It is ridiculous. They could show this stuff during the day and skating at night. After this skiing crap, then they are going to show bobsledding.

[joesamas mama]

CNBC has hockey, msnbc has curling.  Why is that even a sport?

Oh, MOF, curling is a sport. First you curl on the ice, then drink beer after. It is a great sport for old people. I think that is what is great about curling. Kinda like bowling, very hard, but looks easy. 

[joesamas mama]

  Elene G is in second and there are ten more skaters left. She will qualify for LP!!! Yay.

[MindOnFire]

CNBC has hockey, msnbc has curling.  Why is that even a sport?

Oh, MOF, curling is a sport. First you curl on the ice, then drink beer after. It is a great sport for old people. I think that is what is great about curling. Kinda like bowling, very hard, but looks easy. 

Sorta like bocce ball only on ice?  Never done either, but I would have a glass or two of wine, just to be a good sport.

[joesamas mama]

CNBC has hockey, msnbc has curling.  Why is that even a sport?

Oh, MOF, curling is a sport. First you curl on the ice, then drink beer after. It is a great sport for old people. I think that is what is great about curling. Kinda like bowling, very hard, but looks easy. 

Sorta like bocce ball only on ice?  Never done either, but I would have a glass or two of wine, just to be a good sport.

Yeah kind of, but the stones weigh like 40 pounds instead of a ball. Fell on my arse the first time I ever threw a stone. Curling costs lots of money down here and I am not good at it or I would join the club. I was hurting so bad after I tried curling. Couldn't walk the next day. 

[cookie]

did I mention to you monkeys that when we went on our cruise, we landed at LAX and lo and behold what do my little eyes spy??  Why, See's Chocolates that's what !!!    bought 2 boxes of them..ate some of them on the plane and brought the rest of them home..they didn't last long...love that chocolate...don't know what made me think of that...

got a lot of stuff cleaned out from 1 of my closets tonight...lots of stuff to go through...years of stuff!

[MindOnFire]

Since it's just you and I, this is from an email I received today. I will edit out the politically incorrect ones.

If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the deadpan comedian who delivers all his lines in a monotone.  He once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates." His mind sees things differently than most of us do, to our amazement and amusement.  Here are some of his gems:

1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3 - Half the people you know are below average.

4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 - 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.

8 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

9 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend ... but she left me before we met.

10 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

11 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

12 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

13 - Support bacteria.  They’re the only culture some people have.

14 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

15 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

16 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.

17 – Shin:  a device for finding furniture in the dark.

19 - I intend to live forever.... so far, so good.

20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

29 – The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. (my fave)

31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

34 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

35 - When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

36 - Boycott shampoo!  Demand the REAL poo!


37 – Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

 
38 – You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.


39 – Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

 

40 – Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

 

41 – On the other hand, you have different fingers.

 

42 – I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.  So I said, “Got

        any shoes you’re not using?”

 

43 – Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

 

44 – Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it’s the scenic route.

 

45 – My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

 

46 – Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth.  On the back it said, “Wish you were

        here.”

 

47 – Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

 

48 – “Did you sleep well?”  “No, I made a couple of mistakes.”

 

49 – My socks do match.  They’re the same thickness.

 

50 – I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards.  I got a full house and 4 people died.

 

51 – I used to work in a fire hydrant factory.  You couldn’t park anywhere near the place.

 

52 – Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time.

 

53 – What’s another word for Thesaurus?

 

54 – You can’t have everything.  Where would you put it?

 

55 – A lot of people are afraid of heights.  Not me.  I’m afraid of widths.

 

56 – If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

 

57 – I planted some bird seed.  A bird came up.  Now I don’t know what to feed it.

 

58 – I was in the grocery store.  I saw a sign that said “pet supplies.”  So I did.  Then I went

        outside and saw a sign that said “compact cars.”

 

59 – I wear my heart on my sleeve.  I wear my liver on my pant leg.

 

60 – I Xeroxed my watch.  Now I have time to spare.

 

61 – Is “tired old cliché” one?

 

62 – I had my coat-hangers spayed.

 

63 – When I turned two I was really anxious because I’d doubled my age in a year.  I thought,

        “If this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.”

 

64 – Tinsel is really snakes’ mirrors.

 

66 – I wrote a few children’s books…not on purpose.

 

67 – I wrote a song, but I can’t read music so I don’t know what it is.  Every once in a while  I’ll be listening to the radio and I say, “I think I might have written that.”

 

68 – When I was a little kid we had a sand box.  It was a quicksand box.  I was an only

        child…eventually.

 

69 – I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time.  So I ordered French Toast

        during the Renaissance.

 

70 – I went to a general store.  They wouldn’t let me buy anything specifically.

 

71 – I installed a skylight in my apartment.  The people who live above me are furious.

 

72 – I watched the Indy 500.  If they left earlier they wouldn’t have to go so fast.

 

73 – I had to stop driving my car for a while.  The tires got dizzy.

 

74 – I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it will be up all

        night.

 

75 – They say we’re 98% water.  We’re that close to drowning.  I like to live on the edge.

 

[MindOnFire]

did I mention to you monkeys that when we went on our cruise, we landed at LAX and lo and behold what do my little eyes spy??  Why, See's Chocolates that's what !!!    bought 2 boxes of them..ate some of them on the plane and brought the rest of them home..they didn't last long...love that chocolate...don't know what made me think of that...

got a lot of stuff cleaned out from 1 of my closets tonight...lots of stuff to go through...years of stuff!

Hi, Cookie.  Didn't see you come in.

[cookie]

did I mention to you monkeys that when we went on our cruise, we landed at LAX and lo and behold what do my little eyes spy??  Why, See's Chocolates that's what !!!    bought 2 boxes of them..ate some of them on the plane and brought the rest of them home..they didn't last long...love that chocolate...don't know what made me think of that...

got a lot of stuff cleaned out from 1 of my closets tonight...lots of stuff to go through...years of stuff!

Hi, Cookie.  Didn't see you come in.

Hi! just dropped in..probably gonna go to the monkey bunk soon...
I like your post up there...clever guy...

[MindOnFire]

did I mention to you monkeys that when we went on our cruise, we landed at LAX and lo and behold what do my little eyes spy??  Why, See's Chocolates that's what !!!    bought 2 boxes of them..ate some of them on the plane and brought the rest of them home..they didn't last long...love that chocolate...don't know what made me think of that...

got a lot of stuff cleaned out from 1 of my closets tonight...lots of stuff to go through...years of stuff!

Hi, Cookie.  Didn't see you come in.

Hi! just dropped in..probably gonna go to the monkey bunk soon...
I like your post up there...clever guy...

I enjoy dry humor.  Actually, I enjoy pretty much any kind of humor.

[cookie]

yes..me too...where is everyone tonight?

TV is boring tonight! nothing really on that appeals to me right now...same old same old....