Shantina"'Kat" Smiley & 8 yo son Azriel, WA Missing 3/13/10(BODY OF BOY FOUND)

[Edward]

Is this not amazing stuff ??

Excellent find khheather ...
That gives him quite a bit of knowlege of the area and of water.

[theboyzmom]

Yes sponser, thank you.
Can someone please answer a question for me. When you are in the recovery process are you encouraged to revisit the area's of your life that may have brought you to drinking or taking drugs? Are you prompted to reach out to the people who you once may have hurt or made angry to say you are sorry or even to say you forgive them if they did something to you?

Why did she supposedly reach out to her ex and tell him she forgives him? Why did she wish to reach out to the people who judged her the most (or so it seems), her family? What was she going through that brought her to want to do this?

I have been told by a relative of hers, they suspect Shantina had been drinking again and was drunk that night. I have a difficult time believing she was falling down drunk as they believe only because why would she revisit this part of her life when she was "off the wagon"? Wouldn't that give them even more reason to doubt her when she was trying to reconnect with them? Yet another thing that doesn't make sense.

That is step 8  - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.  Normally when someone falls "off the wagon" they do not make it to this step before it happens. I know she would not, if she was in contact with her sponsor and had a decent one, be instructed to go with her child. nor would she if her sobriety was shaky. 

I do disagree with the BF being an enabler - in the program I study and live by there is no such thing. There are no triggers (unless you count breathing!) - our drinking is just to overcome a craving beyond our control. We have no mental control that will be foolproof. Also, we do not believe that hiding from booze is no solution. I have no problem going were booze is served and having it near me or smelling it or seeing it or serving it to friends. I do not believe the BF's story but do not fault him for her willingly going to a place where alcohol is being served. But that JMO.

[Wyks]

Hi all, am here and reading along, posting when I can.  Such great work everyone is doing! 

I've emotionally hit the brick wall with this case so am kind of staying back from the researching at the moment, taking a bit of a break.  Wish there were ways of being able to find the answers to so many questions we have.  Am still curious tho and reading along with your theories, questions, and findings!  And am quite sure I'll be back to digging with gusto as soon as possible.   

[khheather]

Wow Kh, great find!  How'd you find out Robb has a contract with the Navy, and working Puget Sound?   

let's just say--for now, b/c of some concerns abt eyes and ears over here, that i have come across an active public discussion abt the goings on at the base. he is very involved in it. i just want to know how we never knew this before. i am compiling some stuff, and am just going to get it all organized before i post it. 

[khheather]

Yes sponser, thank you.
Can someone please answer a question for me. When you are in the recovery process are you encouraged to revisit the area's of your life that may have brought you to drinking or taking drugs? Are you prompted to reach out to the people who you once may have hurt or made angry to say you are sorry or even to say you forgive them if they did something to you?

Why did she supposedly reach out to her ex and tell him she forgives him? Why did she wish to reach out to the people who judged her the most (or so it seems), her family? What was she going through that brought her to want to do this?

I have been told by a relative of hers, they suspect Shantina had been drinking again and was drunk that night. I have a difficult time believing she was falling down drunk as they believe only because why would she revisit this part of her life when she was "off the wagon"? Wouldn't that give them even more reason to doubt her when she was trying to reconnect with them? Yet another thing that doesn't make sense.

That is step 8  - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.  Normally when someone falls "off the wagon" they do not make it to this step before it happens. I know she would not, if she was in contact with her sponsor and had a decent one, be instructed to go with her child. nor would she if her sobriety was shaky. 

I do disagree with the BF being an enabler - in the program I study and live by there is no such thing. There are no triggers (unless you count breathing!) - our drinking is just to overcome a craving beyond our control. We have no mental control that will be foolproof. Also, we do not believe that hiding from booze is no solution. I have no problem going were booze is served and having it near me or smelling it or seeing it or serving it to friends. I do not believe the BF's story but do not fault him for her willingly going to a place where alcohol is being served. But that JMO.

yeah, i found 2 nights ago an article where the BF says that she in fact was in AA. So I posted that, and if TG is on when you are, pls let her know to check it out (a couple pages back), b/c she was wanting to know if there was anything stated abt Shantina being in AA.

"Enabler" is a certain type of language for sure. I am not sure that I totally like that language or what it is that I would use to articulate what's on my mind.
Let me just say that my husband would not take me, knowing I was struggling w/ my past drinking to my "old stomping ground," the pizza parlor I used to work at that serves beer, all the while snapping photos of me with pizza in my mouth and a beer in front of me, with the next stop being so that he can go for wine tasting at the winery... especially if he was in AA & had any respect for me, let alone love. If he did, I would either be questioning whether he loved me or I loved myself or both--if those thoughts somehow eluded me, I am setting myself up to crave alcohol and ruin my sobriety. The psychological factor is the strongest one. I would know. And then if a few days later I started drinking & something happened to me, and then if he announced to the world that our great time living it up was equivalent to me "falling off the wagon," well, I don't know if he would really want to find me after that.

[khheather]

edit: should be "especially if she" not "he"

[khheather]

Hi all, am here and reading along, posting when I can.  Such great work everyone is doing! 

I've emotionally hit the brick wall with this case so am kind of staying back from the researching at the moment, taking a bit of a break.  Wish there were ways of being able to find the answers to so many questions we have.  Am still curious tho and reading along with your theories, questions, and findings!  And am quite sure I'll be back to digging with gusto as soon as possible.   

[khheather]

Is this not amazing stuff ??

Excellent find khheather ...
That gives him quite a bit of knowlege of the area and of water.

mmmmhhmmm.
   

[khheather]

edit: should be "especially if she" not "he"

actually it should be "I"

[klaasend]

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:DqA2mCJXl1cJ:www.myspace.com/cynthetek+http://www.robbsimmons.com&cd=9&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us&client=firefox-a

[labubske]

interesting find heather...his connection with the area should be looked at...imo, one is being closed-minded if they are not open to the possibility that Robb is somehow involved...at least rule it out.  Isn't that a part of  "investigating" ?   Proving and disproving theories?  I sure hope this what not a set up involving both Shantina and Robb.  So many possibilities.

[Tracygirl]

Sorry I am having bad computer problems tonight! KH I did read that about the AA, thank you for finding that information.

Thank you theboysmom for your thoughts on this subject. I am not an alcoholic so I do not have experience with this myself so I appreciate the insight and honesty.

This is just my opinion, Robb did enable this behavior if indeed Shantina "fell off the wagon" as he states. Can a sober person go to a winery and not drink? Yes, they can. Can a sober person go to a place that everyone is drinking? Yes they can. But Robb says she was not sober she fell off the wagon and she was doing so with him. did he get her to an AA meeting? Did he call her sponsor? Did he encourage her to get help before it got out of hand? Was this just a week long booze fest? I don't think he did, she was drinking beer in that pic on a weekend road trip back in Feb. That to me doesn't seem very supportive and not what I would expect from my fiance. But I do understand what you are saying and I agree with you. The person with the addiction has the power to say yes or no. When I was quiting smoking I had the power to either light up or not as Shantina held that power with that beer in front of her. Funny though that Robb seems to take that power and tie it up with him by explaning she started to drink again because he may of been dying. That story takes all of Shantina's power away. It leaves her appearing weak, helpless, dependent...

Samantha brought up the memorial. Yea you know who on earth has plans for a memorial  just 13 days after a person goes missing?  I am not shy to ask, what they hell was he thinking doing that? Why close the book on her so fast? Shantina deserves that question answered.

This whole damn case screams that an investigation needs to happen. I pray LE is doing just that.

[khheather]

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:DqA2mCJXl1cJ:www.myspace.com/cynthetek+http://www.robbsimmons.com&cd=9&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us&client=firefox-a

that's the one. sorry i remembered the myspace as being retired. what does he do there? trying to find out specifically

bingo! thank you! 

[khheather]

I have actually read him talking abt LEAN on this particular board I am at. will keep checking...

great!   

[khheather]

Hi TG, hi Labruske! 

[khheather]

I have actually read him talking abt LEAN on this particular board I am at. will keep checking...

great!   

http://www.med.navy.mil/sites/lsspmo/Pages/home.aspx

This page has the mission statment of LEAN in the Navy. I need some help understanding all this lingo. Anyone?

[Tracygirl]

I have actually read him talking abt LEAN on this particular board I am at. will keep checking...

great!   

http://www.med.navy.mil/sites/lsspmo/Pages/home.aspx

This page has the mission statment of LEAN in the Navy. I need some help understanding all this lingo. Anyone?

Is this some kind of contractor?

[khheather]

I have actually read him talking abt LEAN on this particular board I am at. will keep checking...

great!   

http://www.med.navy.mil/sites/lsspmo/Pages/home.aspx

This page has the mission statment of LEAN in the Navy. I need some help understanding all this lingo. Anyone?

found something interesting:

"Posted:  Mar 9, 2007 11:35 PM
Hey everyone, my name is Robb, and my girlfriend suffers from migraines, and it has had a very big effect on our relationship, she is moving out tommorow. Now I don't suffer from migraines, but I had acute cadnium posioning in 98, so I know it sucks, really bad.

I do a lot of six sigma work, so I suggested that she keep a journal, so we can identify the triggers for the effects. So far chocolate has popped up as a trigger.
But even after eliminating the chocolate, she still has them.

I will be doing soem research into what cause migraines to develop, and hopefully to find and offer support for those of use who have loved ones who suffer from migraines.

Robb"
http://forum.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=messageboard.viewThread&entryID=32238497&categoryID=0&IsSticky=0&groupID=102165904&Mytoken=EEF18A85-30A6-45C8-9097D21358D6D312144005

[khheather]

six sigma seems to be a fortune 500 "process" whatever ... it's a fancy-pants method developed by Motorola for looking at data & using that data to find and eliminate problems to improve "process" probably company output. eliminating waste and problems w/in a company using stats. it's complicated or rather written in a complicated language so you have to take expensive courses to learn how to implement it.

[khheather]

six sigma seems to be a fortune 500 "process" whatever ... it's a fancy-pants method developed by Motorola for looking at data & using that data to find and eliminate problems to improve "process" probably company output. eliminating waste and problems w/in a company using stats. it's complicated or rather written in a complicated language so you have to take expensive courses to learn how to implement it.

the navy uses it.