MONKEY MUSINGS DAILY OPEN DISCUSSION #56 9/30/10 - 12/17/10

[Bearlyhere]

Good Night Bearly

Sweet Dreams and God Bless
xoxo

 

[MuffyBee]

Good morning

[Itaryl Moosee]

I hope I'm posting this in the right place. Everyone is so cheery here, that I hate to post it and get people in a sad mood. But... this is something in my mind that I wish to "unload" on you guys/gals.

The other day I was reading in a thread and someone mentioned feeling depressed over current cases of missing children.

More than once I have also read of people in tears while discussing cases, or looking at heart-wrenching posts or pictures.

I gotta share something with yahs.

I started discussing current real-crime cases online back in 2005, in America's Most Wanted community forum. At first I found it interesting, and I was excited to offer my opinion regarding such horrible things as missing people, or serial killers.

But, there came the time, after about a year, in which (without my realizing it) I became very depressed and I was in a state of constant emotional upset.

I found myself in tears while discussing cases, and real-crime cases were in my mind through all waking hours. I found myself recreating crimes in my mind at any time during the day.

In summary, it was just overwhelming.

When I realized that, I decided (for my own sanity) to take a break from the computer.

I went to Disney World for 5 days, to relax. After the second day there I found myself desperately seeking a computer connection to see if there were news on a missing child or if one of the serial killers had been caught.

I realized then that I was both addicted and emotionally affected by my involvement with the cases, and I needed help.

After that I started taking steps to ease the emotional toll of discussing the cases online.

First off, I stopped posting in AMW in 2008, mainly because discussing criminals is (to me) more overwhelming than discussing missing children. AMW has gone downhill since then, so I don't miss it.

I take breaks from the computer to ease the nerves. Trips to the movie theater, shopping, talking with family and neighbors. I have my computer connected mainly all day, but I don't get into it unless I'm feeling like it.

After I've seen what a missing child looks like, I do not look at his/her face again. It unnerves me so, to look into the face (particularly the eyes) of a missing child, knowing that he/she may be dead. It just hurts too much.

Let me summarize that some of the missing children cases are so horrible that immersing in them does cause major depression... specially if one is pron to depression in the first place.

I felt that I had to say this.

Remember, a missing child case needs clear and sharp monkey minds, not emotional wrecked monkeys.

God be.

[klaasend]

Well said Itaryl!

I do my best to remain objective and not get emotionally involved but sometimes that is easier said than done.  I agree that we need to step away and refresh ourselves otherwise it will become all consuming.

[Itaryl Moosee]

On another note, the Halloween avatars are looking SOOOO nice. Lots of creativity going on.

 

[crazybabyborg]

Itaryl, thank you for posting that. I really do think you've given voice to what we all experience from time to time, and it needs to be said. Ideally, this very thread was created for just the purpose your post brings to light. It ebbs and flows, thrives at times and has taken blows at others, but we've tried hard to keep controversial things like politics out of here and let it be a place where we can be silly, informative, or just a place to let our hair down and be chatty.

I too struggle with taking on more "heartstrings" when my own life is stretching me emotionally, because it's not a choice we make. We just can't follow a story without getting sucked in by a child's tragedy. My God, how can we have ever known and loved a child without becoming vested in SM's children and the families that love them? It can be overwhelming and you're feelings are well understood. I'm glad you're here at SM and I'm glad you shared your feelings with us. I'll warn you of something if it hasn't already happened. You'll find that you're also creating real emotional ties to posters. I honestly love many here. I have family here. If that's pathetic, then so be it. It doesn't feel pathetic to me; I feel very, very Blessed by it.

Take your breaks Itaryl. It's all good and just by what you've shared with us, you're exactly what helps SM be a place that I want to be part of.  HUGS!!

[novella]

Itaryl, I just read your post and that is right where I am at.  My heart aches for these little innocent souls.  Their pictures impact me...their pictures make me work harder to try and make a difference in what I do, where I am at and to possibly have an impact on the people that I deal with on a daily basis.  Sometimes, these smiling pictures of these lost babies give me the strength to get through my day.  I made it through.  I wish they had, too.  And even though these cases hurt, I see the grace that still resides in the human spirit.  I see Haleigh's smile, Kyron's curiousity, Zahra's spunk, Gabriel's innocence in the face of the horrific hand they were dealt.  There, in those pictures, is grace...is beauty.  I hold that dearly...it is worth fighting for, worth dying for.  I can only do what I can do.

Thank you for that post. 

[klaasend]

DON'T MISS THE DANA PRETZER SHOW TONIGHT AT 9PM ET.

Guests.

9pm et - Former LA County  ADA, Author and NBC News analyst Robin Sax www.robinsax.com  Discussing Keeping Grayson Home http://keepinggraysonhome.com/

 
9:25pm et - Blink from Blink On Crime www.blinkoncrime.com discussing the Hartley case http://blinkoncrime.com/2010/10/05/david-hartley-gunned-down-on-jet-ski-in-mexico-tiffany-young-hartley-facing-scrutiny/
 
9:45pm et - Domestic Violence Expert, Author Susan Murphy Milano discussing three domestic violence cases from Oklahoma http://murphymilanojournal.blogspot.com/
http://womenincrimeink.blogspot.com/2010/09/oklahoma-where-crime-blows-like-wind.html

Joe Turner discussing the murder of his daughter Chandra Turner


www.scaredmonkeysradio.com

[klaasend]

GREAT SHOW DANA!

[Bearlyhere]

I hope I'm posting this in the right place. Everyone is so cheery here, that I hate to post it and get people in a sad mood. But... this is something in my mind that I wish to "unload" on you guys/gals.

The other day I was reading in a thread and someone mentioned feeling depressed over current cases of missing children.

More than once I have also read of people in tears while discussing cases, or looking at heart-wrenching posts or pictures.

I gotta share something with yahs.

I started discussing current real-crime cases online back in 2005, in America's Most Wanted community forum. At first I found it interesting, and I was excited to offer my opinion regarding such horrible things as missing people, or serial killers.

But, there came the time, after about a year, in which (without my realizing it) I became very depressed and I was in a state of constant emotional upset.

I found myself in tears while discussing cases, and real-crime cases were in my mind through all waking hours. I found myself recreating crimes in my mind at any time during the day.

In summary, it was just overwhelming.

When I realized that, I decided (for my own sanity) to take a break from the computer.

I went to Disney World for 5 days, to relax. After the second day there I found myself desperately seeking a computer connection to see if there were news on a missing child or if one of the serial killers had been caught.

I realized then that I was both addicted and emotionally affected by my involvement with the cases, and I needed help.

After that I started taking steps to ease the emotional toll of discussing the cases online.

First off, I stopped posting in AMW in 2008, mainly because discussing criminals is (to me) more overwhelming than discussing missing children. AMW has gone downhill since then, so I don't miss it.

I take breaks from the computer to ease the nerves. Trips to the movie theater, shopping, talking with family and neighbors. I have my computer connected mainly all day, but I don't get into it unless I'm feeling like it.

After I've seen what a missing child looks like, I do not look at his/her face again. It unnerves me so, to look into the face (particularly the eyes) of a missing child, knowing that he/she may be dead. It just hurts too much.

Let me summarize that some of the missing children cases are so horrible that immersing in them does cause major depression... specially if one is pron to depression in the first place.

I felt that I had to say this.

Remember, a missing child case needs clear and sharp monkey minds, not emotional wrecked monkeys.

God be.

Thank you for sharing this, IM.  I often see the same thing you do and am concerned for posters here.

I am also going to Disney, we will see what happens.  I have stepped away from SM for a while because the life and death of these children affect me so much.  When I feel particularly down, I will be here in Musings or also with the  Ban Clan, they often make me laugh. I am still here, but check in on the childrens' threads less frequently.  At some point in the threads when there is no information, people's imagination run wild and that is when it becomes unhealthy there, imo.

It is a good idea for everyone to watch their emotional level.  My son said to me tonight, I think you are working too hard, that means I am being affected by the kids too much and need to back off, he is extremely sensitive to changes in me and I trust him as my barometer.  I hope everyone has their own barometer as it is often hard to see it in yourself.

Thank you for your words of wisdom, IM.  There is no off-topic here in the thread and it was the perfect place to put it, try the Ban Clan thread, also (JSM's begging for the ban thread), people who read there will benefit from your words, too.

I would like to hear more of your story because it may help someone here learn how to kick other habits they have.  If it is too personal, I understand.

 

[Bearlyhere]

Well said Itaryl!

I do my best to remain objective and not get emotionally involved but sometimes that is easier said than done.  I agree that we need to step away and refresh ourselves otherwise it will become all consuming.

Klaas, you are amazing!

 

[Bearlyhere]

On another note, the Halloween avatars are looking SOOOO nice. Lots of creativity going on.

 

 

[Bearlyhere]

Itaryl, thank you for posting that. I really do think you've given voice to what we all experience from time to time, and it needs to be said. Ideally, this very thread was created for just the purpose your post brings to light. It ebbs and flows, thrives at times and has taken blows at others, but we've tried hard to keep controversial things like politics out of here and let it be a place where we can be silly, informative, or just a place to let our hair down and be chatty.

I too struggle with taking on more "heartstrings" when my own life is stretching me emotionally, because it's not a choice we make. We just can't follow a story without getting sucked in by a child's tragedy. My God, how can we have ever known and loved a child without becoming vested in SM's children and the families that love them? It can be overwhelming and you're feelings are well understood. I'm glad you're here at SM and I'm glad you shared your feelings with us. I'll warn you of something if it hasn't already happened. You'll find that you're also creating real emotional ties to posters. I honestly love many here. I have family here. If that's pathetic, then so be it. It doesn't feel pathetic to me; I feel very, very Blessed by it.

Take your breaks Itaryl. It's all good and just by what you've shared with us, you're exactly what helps SM be a place that I want to be part of.  HUGS!!

CBB, your post made me cry.

Love you, friend!
 

[Bearlyhere]

Itaryl, I just read your post and that is right where I am at.  My heart aches for these little innocent souls.  Their pictures impact me...their pictures make me work harder to try and make a difference in what I do, where I am at and to possibly have an impact on the people that I deal with on a daily basis.  Sometimes, these smiling pictures of these lost babies give me the strength to get through my day.  I made it through.  I wish they had, too.  And even though these cases hurt, I see the grace that still resides in the human spirit.  I see Haleigh's smile, Kyron's curiousity, Zahra's spunk, Gabriel's innocence in the face of the horrific hand they were dealt.  There, in those pictures, is grace...is beauty.  I hold that dearly...it is worth fighting for, worth dying for.  I can only do what I can do.

Thank you for that post. 

I am glad you made it out, too.  I see the same spirit in the children, thank you for reminding us.

 

[Green Eyes]

Hi Miss Bearly   Hows my favorite bear and her cub doing tonight? 
You are going to enjoy Disney World. 

[Bearlyhere]

GREAT SHOW DANA!

 

I love to hear Dana's voice coming from between my pillows, as I listen to the recordings of him behind the Radio button!  I highly recommend this to those of you who may have missed it.

 

[Bearlyhere]

Hi Miss Bearly   Hows my favorite bear and her cub doing tonight? 
You are going to enjoy Disney World. 

Hello, beautiful Green Eyes,

We are fine, how are you and your lovely family doing tonight?  Is your bed time going back to it's old time?  I hope you are getting your sleep and are refreshed from your trip.

Today is the Cub's birthday.

 

[Green Eyes]

Hi Miss Bearly  Hows my favorite bear and her cub doing tonight?  
You are going to enjoy Disney World.  

Hello, beautiful Green Eyes,

We are fine, how are you and your lovely family doing tonight?  Is your bed time going back to it's old time?  I hope you are getting your sleep and are refreshed from your trip.

Today is the Cub's birthday.

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY To Cub 



Did he get his favorite food for dinner?

I am getting back to my normal routine. I am so glad we went to see MIL but was so happy to be home.

[can]

Belated Happy birthday to the cub!  and soon he's going to Disney world.  Yay! 
Love Disney world.  It was years ago when my kids were little.  Think I enjoyed it more than my kids.  It was magical! - such a happy place to be.
Do they still have the magic light parade?  It was my favorite thing!
 

[Bearlyhere]

Hi Miss Bearly   Hows my favorite bear and her cub doing tonight? 
You are going to enjoy Disney World. 

Hello, beautiful Green Eyes,

We are fine, how are you and your lovely family doing tonight?  Is your bed time going back to it's old time?  I hope you are getting your sleep and are refreshed from your trip.

Today is the Cub's birthday.

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY To Cub   



Did he get his favorite food for dinner?

I am getting back to my normal routine. I am so glad we went to see MIL but was so happy to be home.

His birthday is today.  He will have pizza and we will go to the movies.  His Speech Therapist wants to come for cake and my parents want us to come and bring cake, as usual, we are pulled in several different directions.  SLP comes to my house 4 or 5 times a week and she is the one taking us to Disney, so this is not an easy decision.

Maybe we will go to my Parent's place (we are there at least once a week, this would make 3 times this week, so far) and stop and see SLP and her Mom on the way home.

Plans subject to change at any given moment.

I am glad you are home, too.  I really missed you being here. 

Now I just have to get an email that works so I can get to the wedding.  I am back on my old computer and cannot get my email.  My monkey email and the password is on my new computer, which does not work.

Ack!