Puzzler posted the link to this article right after it came out, but I don't think the complete article was posted here anywhere. If it was please forgive the repost. I don't agree with everything in it, but I think some good points were made.
http://drlillianglass.com/body-language-blog/2010/06/26/anita-van-der-sloot%E2%80%99s-body-language-shows-anger-at-joran-and-shame-he-is-her-son-but-continues-to-make-excuses-for-him-as-she-cuts-him-out-of-her-life/Anita Van der Sloot’s Body Language Shows Anger at Joran and Shame He Is Her Son But Continues To Make Excuses For Him As She Cuts Him Out of Her LifeWAS THE STORY ABOUT THE CONTENTS OF JORAN’S NOTE HE LEFT FOR HER TRUE?
While Joran may have left his mother Anita a note that he was leaving for Peru, perhaps what he allegedly said in that note may be wishful thinking on the part of Anita van der Sloot.She gives a seemingly embellished story when she says “Joran left me a note.” As she says. this she brushes off her leg it looks like she is brushing something off. This is usually a signal of deception.
She then looks down and licks her lips indicating two other signals deception as she recites that the note says “ Mommy I love you but I, I (repetition of the word I which is another signal of deception ) don’t wanna go to the Netherlands. She then looks way which is yet another signal of deception.
She then says, using a strong voice which does ring true “ I am invited to gamble in Peru and I can make money there. But then her voice wanes as she goes on with something that doesn’t make much sense as she adds that Joran’s note says and I wanna stay there far away as no body knows me there. I wanna think I what I wanna do with my life?”
Right after she says this she cocks her head as though she is questioning what he has just said- another signal of deception. I seriously doubt Joran wrote those exact words “I wanna stay there far away nobody knows me there. That doesn’t sound like something someone would write in a note as does I wanna think what to do with my life.
Those are very serious decisions- to stay in Peru and to go away and decide what to do with his life. Why would he write that in a little note instead of discussing these important life changing decisions verbally with is mother. Also her stating that Joran was there to stay in Peru as opposed to other Latin American countries does not ring true either. He went there for a Poker tournament, not to stay there and build a life. He also went to Columbia and Chile and was on his way to Argentina. So I don’t buy it that he was going to build a life in Peru where no one knew him. It doesn’t make sense, especially since he is not all that fluent in Spanish.
The fact that he wrote it instead of communicating it to her verbally shows what a strained relationship they must have had. Also
since her interview was done for Dutch TV and since she said she trusts them so much, why didn’t she produce that note that Joran wrote in order to show everyone exactly what he wrote?She then looks down and purses her lips and shrugs her shoulders- all three all signals of deception as her body language and facial expression do not match her feelings she is attempting to express. Then she makes a loud ” tsking” or smacking sound with her tongue, followed by silence.
She says I was angry. She knits her brow together and juts her jaw forward indicating that she was indeed angry with Joran.
She says ” I was ready for Joran to eh follow a path where they could help him dealing with his eh (looks away) em his gambling addiction and if there was a personality disorder which could be very good possible.” She she looks down and blinks a lot as she says this.
Her body language tells make me wonder if she really did (plan to) send him to the Netherlands and if he was planning to go there, or if this is all Anita’s spin to not make Joran look like a monster.If you are going to a clinic for a gambling addiction, you mention only that and don’t add in his personality disorder, unless you know one exists.
There is no doubt that Anita did know that Joran had some type of psychological problem as he was apparently seeing a therapist in his teen years. Apparently he was sent to a therapist by his parents. According to an interview which Joran gave to the Aruban police when he was a teen, given after Natalie’s was found missing, Joran admitted he had been sent to a psychiatrist for stealing 50 euros from his father and for his violence towards his brother.While Joran has told many lies in his past, I believe that his telling about seeing a psychiatrist was one of the few times that he was telling the truth.ANITA LAUGHS WHEN SHE SAYS IT COULDN’T BE JORAN WHO KILLED STEFANY
After Anita recounts that she found out Stefany was murdered and says that it could not have been Joran, her facial expression is not what one would expect. She smiles as you see above.
At first she recites what she heard in a very low and labored tone. As she speaks she turns her whole body and face away as literally to not face this disaster she is revealing.
She says “ I heard was a girl found n the Tac hotel in the room of Joran. Her inflection goes up as she says em murdered grually em with a knife , blood everywhere etc. (why would someone say etc.?) They would say etc as a means of detachment. Anita was clearly trying to detach herself from the horror of the incident as she further visualized what he son did to poor Stefany. Knowing this was too much for her to bear emotionally. The fact that Anita spoke in a monotone also conformed her emotional detachment.
As Anita says the words there was blood everywhere,she looks away and turns her head to face way from the interviewer. It is as though she is unable to face this horrific visual scene as she has a serious and devastated look on her face as you can see above.
But then what she does seems rather odd. She begins to smile as she says “And I thought no no this cannot be. No way.Her smile is a not a happy smile but rather a nervous smile. It is a that lasts five seconds. It may also be a smile of relief that Joran was finally caught for all of his past and present his misdeeds. She then shrugs her shoulders.
We know that a shoulder shrug is often associated wih a person not telling the truth.
When Anita said the words” No way” referring to the fact that there was no way Joran could have committed this brutal act, she was not telling the truth. In her mind,she may have very well known that Joran was capable of doing such a horrific thing based on his past violence and personality disorder which she referred to earlier in the interview.
She then says she says I was I was was completely shut ” while clasping her hands together as if and then brushing her palms as though she was symbolically brushing Joran off and eliminating from her life.
Then she crosses her chest with her with her arms over lapping one another as if to protect herself. She then describes how she was completely shut down emotionally .
Then she pushes her hands out as if she is literally pushing Joran away from her.
As she describes her phone call with Joran when he was calling her from the taxi during his escape into Chile, her body language appears to be in synch with her emotional state. Here we see Anita making very frantic gestures with her hands as she relates how she implored her son to turn himself in and go to police after she described how he was crying to her.
Then Anita changes her tune and says that she thought it was all a set up because it was exactly five years to the day “that Natalie death happened and now this with Stefany Flores happened.” The fact that she mentioned the two girl by name indicates that she has respect for them as she realized the gravity of the situation and her son’s involvement. As Anita mentions Stefany’s name, she turns away as to symbolically turn away from Joran and what he did. Her speaking in a very matter of fact unemotional tone shows that she hasn’t fully come to terms with everything from an emotional standpoint.
ANITA SHOWS COMPASSION AND SHAME
Anita showed compassion when she said she immediately thought of the parents. Then she added that she too identified as she lost a son. She then said she hoped Joran can speak to the parents of Stefany Flores and in a normal way tell them what happened.
But as she says this, there is a tinge of anger in her tone as she knows there will be no normal way for Joran speak to her parents . So she says “And I apologize for them that he is my son. ” She looks down in embarrassment as she makes this statement, indicting body language-wise that she is truly embarrassed that Joran was her son.
But then she attempts to modify what she said by revealing “He’s, not a monster.” She says this with a questioning look as her inflection goes up as if asking a question, perhaps wondering if Joran really is a monster.In trying to erase this thought from her mind, she further tries to mollify her shame and embarrassment of Joran by explaining that “ he can be very gentle,” Then she she rolls her head from side to side and shrugs her shoulders as she continues to offer up further excuses for Joran’s egregious acts by saying “ it could be that he has a bipolar em personality.”
She is slightly teary eyed as she says this yet she is angry as indicated by her pursed lips and jaw jutted forward.
She then leans away and places her hands in front of herself, interlocking her fingers like a closed gate. In doing so she is indicating that there is no way she will ever change the words she has said “I will not visit Joran in Peru. I don’t have any feeling that it can add up to anything. I want to keep distance. I think it will bring emotions up that I am not ready for. “
I think that Anita is wise to stay away from Joran as who knows what would happen to her if they were alone together in his cell in Peru. Based on his psychological reports Joran does not value the female role and has disrespect for women, Thus, there is no doubt that he disrespects his mother.
Based on how violent his killing was of Stefany and what he probably did to Natalie, he harbors a lot of rage towards women including his mother. Therefore, her own life may be in jeopardy if she is face to face with her son.She tries to justify her actions of refusing to see her son by saying she is not a police officer, she is a mom. What she is saying is that she wants the police officers to handle him because as a mom she is helpless. She goes on to say of he is involved, then he needs to be punished by the police.
ANITA GOES BACK TO BLAMING JORAN’S PROBLEMS ON HIS BEING CHASED FIVE YEARS
Anita definitely has mercurial feelings when it comes to Joran. On the one hand she sees what Joran has done and wants hiom punished fro his actions.. But on the other breath she continues to make excuses for Joraan by saying that “he was chased five years;”
She ratonalizes that this is what caused this as she blame “people stared at him everywhere he went. “
Maybe if Joran would have come clean and not toyed with the Holloway family, people would not have stared at him. Maybe if he would have completed his studies or gone on to a respectable profession instead of being engaged in the trafficking of prostitutes in Thailand people wouldn’t have stared at him. Maybe if he would have dedicated his time and energies to a more worthwhile and charitable cause instead of playing poker, people wouldn’ t have stared at him. Perhaps if he got the psychological help he needed, he would have been better able to cope if anyone did happen to stare at him. In reality, how could people avoid staring at someone like Joran who was a striking looking at 6 foot 3 inches tall.
Anita continued on in defending Joran by saying ,”They bothered him and there as no place he was safe.”
NOW ANITA GOES BACK TO BLAMING JORAN
We see Anita’s thought yo yoing as she says ” I belive in karma. If you do things you shouldn’t do a lot of shit happens to you.” It was interesting how Anita used such a crude word when she knew she was being televised. Perhaps that was the only words she could use to describe her son’s predicament.
To use Anita’s word, a lot of shit happened to Anita as well as Joran. It happened to her because she didn’t handle her out of control son with enough tough love. She made too many excuses for him like she is doing now.But then she goes backtracks as she blames Joran for not listening to his parents.
But his parents needed to have set down some firm laws so their teenage son at the time was not in casinos gambling.Anita then says ” He didn’t listen to me . and then hesitates and finally continues with “this last time .” I have no doubt that Joran didn’t listen to Anita anytime. In making such a statement Anita is trying to defend herself, She does so by adding “ I tried to do my best I don’t think I could have done more..
“Of course she could have done more early on in Joran’s teen years. But she is right that she could not have done more now . It is too late.One of the most disturbing aspects of Anita’s interview was that she was making excuses for not talking to Beth Twitty and blaming the fact that she was being shielded by the media. That is an excuse because if Anita wanted to get to Beth she could have reached out to her somehow during these five years.As Anita says this she looks down and shrugs her shoulder.
This body language gesture indicates that what Anita is saying about not being able to get to Beth is not true.
What is absolutely true based on her angry and distanced body language is that there is no longer any relationship between Anita and her son Joran.
www.drlillianglass.comTags: ABC, Anita van der sloot, Anita Van der Sloot interviwe
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