Medical Advice Needed

[Katysmom]

That's great news katysmom! I know you are relieved! Your son is a good Dad, and he will do fine. I hope your former daughter-in-law can recover her life, and return to being a good Mom as well. The baby needs them both. Maybe this will wake her up.
Please let us know how the baby is doing. We do care!

I will keep you updated, although I have a feeling I'm going to be spending a lot of time at my son's house this weekend and won't be on the computer very much.  THANK YOU EVERYONE.

[Seamonkey]

KatyMom -
 

SeaMonkey:  No where in your post did I feel you were sounding harsh in any negative way.  This situation is infuriating!  
I have good news today!  My son went over to 'mom;s' house yesterday afternoon and gave her an ultimatium.  He basically told her that she had the choice to let him take the baby (at least for now) and she can visit anytime she wants, or he would go to a lawyer and get social services involved.  Mom agreed to let my son take the baby to his house!!!!!  He also is going to call today to find out where to take parenting classes.  He's right when he says being a parent is the hardest thing he's ever done and he wants to make sure he's doing it right.  We are still going to the dr. on Friday morning, and yes, I will be going with.  I feel so much better about this whole situation now; things are starting to fall into place.
Thank you for careing.

 Hello katysmom,
  I am so happy all will be working out for your precious little grand daughter and son. You are a wonderful grandmother.
  Parenting is hard, as you know, but it also the most rewarding .
 I look forward to the updates. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. It will all work out. And let your son know God never gives us what we can not handle. He will do just fine. You are a great and caring support system for them.
 Sincerely,
 SeaMonkey

[snoopy]

Katysmom  I'm so glad your son is taking care of your grandbaby.  And glad you are going to the Dr. with him.  Hope you can update us before you go to your son's for the weekend.  Your family is in my prayers.   If he needs a little bit of extra help, then send him here.  We'll lift him up.

[MsVada]

That is great news,  I am sending lots of support and prayers to you and your Son and Granddaughter.  

{{hugs}} to you for caring enough to intervene.

[pdh3]

That's great news katysmom! I know you are relieved! Your son is a good Dad, and he will do fine. I hope your former daughter-in-law can recover her life, and return to being a good Mom as well. The baby needs them both. Maybe this will wake her up.
Please let us know how the baby is doing. We do care!

I will keep you updated, although I have a feeling I'm going to be spending a lot of time at my son's house this weekend and won't be on the computer very much.  THANK YOU EVERYONE.

I'm sure that precious baby will love spending time with you.  

[Lala'sMom]

Katysmom
Please update us as soon as possible.  I am on pins and needles waiting for news.

[Peaches]

I just found this thread.  Reading the first couple pages I was thinking "call for help, NOW".   Never feel guilty for butting in.  Never know who might be saved by your nosiness.  

That baby is too skinny.  Children do not choose what they eat.  They eat what is placed before them. Two year olds do not need soda or pop or whatever it is in your corner of the world.  Too much sugar causes diarrhea. Saw it on TV.  FIBER!!   This "mother" needs to concern herself more with the baby's nutrition than the consistency of her poops.  If you take care of the diet, the poops will take care of themselves.  

I take it we are also talking about private in home daycare.  Tried that.  Not enough accountability for me.  I wanted to be able to walk in anytime and see exactly what was going on.  And I did.

Katysmom, I'm glad you stuck your nose in here!  You have my support.   Glad to see your son is getting with the program.  Parenting class may be a real eye-opener but he'll be a great dad in the end.  As the first man in his daughter's life, it is paramount that he protect her.  Please tell him there are people he doesn't even know who care about him and his daughter.

[cubbeegirl]

Katysmom.... I have been reading this thread, but have not posted as of yet.... I have been including you and your family in my prayers and am glad to hear that things seem to be moving in the right direction for you and your precious granddaughter...

[Katysmom]

I'm home and I had a wonderful weekend at my son's!!!  Baby girl is doing great!
Friday morning we went to the dr. and we had decided beforehand not to say anything at first about our concerns.  We wanted to see if he would pick up on it and he did immediately!  He started asking so many questions about her diet, her sleeping patterns, her behavior, etc...  He said she was definately underweight enough to be very concerned, but not so much that it has done any lasting damage.  We walked out of there with our arms full of brochures on nutrition, information on places we could seek help, a prescription for special vitamins,; all sorts of stuff. We made an appointment for follow-up in two weeks. We sat down and planned out specific menus for her meals, which would include all the nutrients she needs.  Friday she was not very happy with us.  We sat at the dinner table for over an hour until she ate.  She finally decided that pot roast, mashed potatoes and peas weren't too bad.  She loved dipping her meat into the ketchup.  Saturday morning we had scrambled eggs, bacon, toast and orange juice.  She ate every bit we gave her and even asked for more toast.  By Saturday night there was no more fussiness about any treats.  While not outwardly mean, we were stern in the fact that there would be no treats until she ate her meals.  I have a feeling she's going to be a pudgy little thing in no time at all.  
We also made sure to call mom and keep her updated, so that she didn't feel like we were attacking her and going to keep her baby away from her.  My son is petitioning the court for joint custody and ask that he be given physical custody.  He is asking that the mother be required by the court to take parenting classes.  He will be starting his next week.
For the first few weeks, he wants to keep her at home, but realizes that she does need socialization with other children her own age, so he will be looking for a pre-school to enroll her in.
We played games and sang songs and just had a wonderful time.
Again, I want to thank EVERYONE for their advice, concerns, and prayers.  You have no idea how much all the monkeys mean to me.  THANK YOU!!!!!

[Seamonkey]

Katysmom-
  How wonderful to see you post such fantastic news !!! I am So happy she has you as a grandmother. You and your son will be such positive role models for her. I can not express how very happy I am for you and for her. ((( Big HUGE Hugs)) to you and yours. Absolutely Wonderful News!!

Sincerely,
SeaMonkey

[Katysmom]

Katysmom-
  How wonderful to see you post such fantastic news !!! I am So happy she has you as a grandmother. You and your son will be such positive role models for her. I can not express how very happy I am for you and for her. ((( Big HUGE Hugs)) to you and yours. Absolutely Wonderful News!!

Sincerely,
SeaMonkey

Thank You, SeaMonkey!  I forgot to tell everyone the very best part of the whole weekend.  The last few minutes before I walked out the door to come home.  My son took me aside and apologized for all the horrible thoughts he had about me when he was a teenager and I would tell him that "no" he couldn't go to the party where there were no parents home or there would be alcohol involved; the times I wouldn't let him skip school because he hadn't done an assignment; demanding to meet his friends before he could run around with them; etc......There were tears in his eyes and he told me that it is all so clear to him now that I was being the best parent I could be and was only trying to guide him.  Then he gave me a big hug and told me he loved me.  
I am exhausted from the past few days (chasing a two yr. old around at my age is not easy) and am going to bed now.  I love you all.  Life is so good!

[mishy]

Katysmom...I have just found this thread and am so happy that your son has the baby and that the doctor was so helpful! Isn't it great to be a monkey and to be able to bring your concerns here and get such wonderful and supportive feedback? It's such a blessing...

You sound like a great mom and grandmother. I'm so glad this baby has you and your son right now. What a blessing that when you voiced your concerns to your son, he listened, took you seriously, and took matters into his own hands. So many times people think others (even mom's) are making a big deal out of nothing, but he obviously had his concerns over his ex-wife before that. I can't wait to read more about the baby's progress!! They are so fragile, yet so resillient. And such gifts from God. So many children are left vulnerable and unprotected by their parents, grandparents, and it can be so tragic. I will be praying for your son, the baby, and the mother, as she is either sowing some majorly wild oats, going through a second childhood, or has a big problem and things are only going to get worse. I hope it's the former!!

{{{Hugs}}}

[mishy]

Katysmom-
  How wonderful to see you post such fantastic news !!! I am So happy she has you as a grandmother. You and your son will be such positive role models for her. I can not express how very happy I am for you and for her. ((( Big HUGE Hugs)) to you and yours. Absolutely Wonderful News!!

Sincerely,
SeaMonkey

Thank You, SeaMonkey!  I forgot to tell everyone the very best part of the whole weekend.  The last few minutes before I walked out the door to come home.  My son took me aside and apologized for all the horrible thoughts he had about me when he was a teenager and I would tell him that "no" he couldn't go to the party where there were no parents home or there would be alcohol involved; the times I wouldn't let him skip school because he hadn't done an assignment; demanding to meet his friends before he could run around with them; etc......There were tears in his eyes and he told me that it is all so clear to him now that I was being the best parent I could be and was only trying to guide him.  Then he gave me a big hug and told me he loved me.  
I am exhausted from the past few days (chasing a two yr. old around at my age is not easy) and am going to bed now.  I love you all.  Life is so good!

Now that was a real warm fuzzy!! I know it must have really warmed your heart!!  

[Lala'sMom]

I feel much better now that I have heard good news about this situation.  Sometimes your kids surprise you.  It's like everything you ever did for them was worth more than you imagined.  You were a good parent and now they know it.  I am so happy for you.

[nonesuche]

I am too katysmom, you earned all those good words from your son and he will be a better parent too as a result of acknowledging with so much maturity. You will succeed, he's addressing the issues and that's a giant step toward solving this situation.

I wish you only the best, kiss that grandbaby for us all !

[Seamonkey]

Oh that is wonderful !

 It is funny, but we sometimes never realize all the things our parents actually did for us until we have kids of our own and then it is like a lightenin bolt, like a " Doh!!" moment. it all comes clear when you have your teenager looking at you with venom because how dare you not allow them to go to an overnight sleep party at the lake alone with only other teens..you stare into those disapproving eyes and they only reflect what you once had on your own face at the same age lol.

 As a Mom you truly never know how you are doing until they are older and see how they turn out. I have my children spread out in ages, I have like three different generations essentially. Two years ago my 20 year old gave me the gift all Mom's wait for as katysmom got from her son. My son called just to " Thank you for YOU being my Mom, Thank you for NOT judging me, Thank you for Loving me no matter what, Thank you for being there for me, Thank YOu for being my friend ." Ahhh I still get teary eyed over that, he too, was very emotional, it comes from the heart. But all Mom's look for that, though we never tell our children that, nor do we expect it, we just hope for that day when we are given a sign that we did "good" raising our children. My priority has never been to be my children's best friends, my priority was to be a MOM, which is harder I think, issuing rules, saying No more times then yes at times. But when all is said and done basically, because of the respect you cultivated through the "No's" and such you do end up with a friend, one for life that you find you too can go to no matter what. They realized all the "No's" came from a love only a parent can give thier child.

 katysmom- I am so happy you got that gift from your son, I truly know how much that means to a Mom.

[pdh3]

katysmom.....I was so glad to hear the good news about the baby. It seems like a crisis has been averted, and I know you are relieved.

You have obviously done a great job as a parent, and your son is stepping up to the plate as well, and ensuring that his child is safe and healthy. He had to learn to accept responsiblity as he grew up, and you  taught him to do that. The baby will be fine with her Daddy and grandparents looking out for her, and hopefully her Mom will get her act pulled together and be a mother to her child soon. It was really nice of you to call her and let her know how her child was doing. I hope your son prevails in court, and I hope your former daughter-in-law can do what's best for the baby. These kinds of situations are never easy on anyone.

[Katysmom]

Hello Monkeys!  I just woke up to some very disturbing news and I am literally sick to my stomach.
The weekend I had the baby and noticed her dire condition, I also noticed something else.  When it was bedtime, I put her on the couch and I brought out the roll-away bed for me to sleep on, and pushed it up next to the couch so she wouldn't roll off.  As soon as I crawled into the roll-away, she turned her head to look at me and then lifted her pevlic up and down and kept saying "bump, bump", and then would laugh.  I knew that her mother has a very tiny 2 bedroom apartment, but she has a roommate, so the baby's bed is in her room.  I don't begrudged anyone haveing sex, but when the baby repeated this behavior a few times I got worried.  I said to my husband: "Surely mom isn't stupid enough to have men over and have sex in the same room when baby girl is there".  
When I woke up this morning there was an email from my son.  Evidently, last night someone at work told him that a man who used to be their neighbor when he and mom were together has been going over to mom's apartment, both getting drunk, and then having sex when the baby WAS in the same room.  This man is a serious alcoholic.  When he lived by my son he had a beautiful wife and three small children of his own.  Their bills were pileing up and he got stressed and started drinking.  His wife kicked him out and he only got worse, even drinking at his work.  One day my son got a phone call to go get him from work because his boss was on the way and this guy was passed out in his office.
I thank God we got this baby out of there in time!!!!!  Now, I not only have to worry about her physical health, I have to worry about her mental health.  It's early here right now and I can't call social services yet but I am going to the minute they open their office.  You all have been such a great help to me so far.  Do any of you know if this will permantely affect her or is she young enough to forget it?  
Can anything else go wrong????

[pdh3]

I have a good friend who has a daughter, and a stepson. When the stepson was 13, he molested his half-sister, who was 2 and a half at the time.  She told her mom that her brother had hurt her bottom, and my friend, who was beside herself, told her husband, the boy's father, called social services, and called her pediatrician to have her baby checked out. The pediatrician advised her that the little girl would suffer no trauma due to her age. He did not think she would remember it. The boy received counseling, and all involved felt that he was just curious and not a pedophile.  
katysmom......Have the baby checked, as bad as that seems. There might be more to it, and there might not be. You need to know if she has been abused. I hate to point that out, but you need try to find out as much as you can. Call the pediatrician and get her in ASAP again. Can your son get an emergency hearing for custody? He can find that out from his lawyer I guess. This is a dangerous situation for a baby to be in. She is not safe, on any level, in that kind of environment.
I hope I'm not offending you or making you mad, but when people drink like that, they cannot be responsible adults, and children get harmed in many different ways.
Your former daughter-in-law needs an intervention, then a trip to rehab.

[MsVada]

I agree with Pdh3,

  for peace of mind, have her checked out.